Chap 19 - Truth and Feelings (2)

Lucien P.O.V

I felt warm all over. This was the most comfortable sleep I had in a long time. I knew that my crying bout was a much needed as I was keeping everything bottled up. My hatred to my so called brother, my aunt and uncle, the fake fiance. My sadness for Elijah's death but more importantly my feelings for Valentino. I knew that I loved him since we met at 14. After Kain brokered his personal information and pinned the blame on me, I hated the distance between us. I still remember the last words he said.

"I can't believe that I was friends with such a back stabber. Lucien Fabbri, I thought you were a kind soul. I didn't expect such evilness. We are no longer friends. Don't ever look for me again."

He was a dream I couldn't hold on to. I loved him even when I was dating Max. I knew that he was the only one I would ever love with my heart and soul. I still remember the day his engagement to Bella Maris was announced. The couple were happily in love. I wished them my very best in my heart. I know now that I will never fall in love again with Valentino but I hope that we could be friends again someday.

I felt a hand running through my hair. I know who that hand belongs to. Elijah. I nuzzled further into the hand. A chuckled sounded out of Elijah's mouth. "Awake, Luc ?" he asked. I shook my head replying no. Elijah laughed amusement colouring his tone. "Sorry to do this but you need to wake up sweetie. You haven't eaten anything since breakfast and it is nearly 5 pm. So, upsy-daisy." That jolted me wide awake up. I slept for so long !!!! I sat up on the bed. Elijah was sitting at next to me with a bunch of papers in his hand. He had on gold framed specs that made him look even more sexy. "Come, Denver bought us a bunch of things to snack on." He said and I looked to see a huge picnic basket in front of my bed.

Elijah picked it up and put it on the desk. He started removing the dishes from the basket. Ham and cheese sandwiches, a potato and leek pie, pasta salad and finally a peach cobbler for dessert. Denver really sent all the good stuff. I got up from the bed and joined Elijah at the desk. He split the food quickly and we sat down to eat. It was blissful. i have never enjoyed a meal like this in my previous life with just Elijah and myself. I could tell that Elijah was also enjoying himself. We continued to eat in the comfortable and warm atmosphere.

We managed to finish everything. "That was satisfying." I said with a sigh full of satisfaction. Elijah smiled at my statement. We cleaned up and put the basket outside my bedroom for the servants to come and pick it up. Just as I was about to go back to sit at the desk when Elijah grabbed my hand and pulled me along. We stepped out of my room and headed down the hallway. We made our way to Elijah's study which surprised me. He pulled me to his desk and made me sit down. I sat down still confused as to what he was trying to do.

He walked over to the sofa in front of the fireplace. He pushed down the back of the sofa flat. It was a sofa bed. He proceeded to rearrange the blankets and cushions. After all of that, he came and pulled me up from the chair I was sitting on. He ushered me towards the sofa bed and made me get under the covers. I am still perplexed as to what was going on when he joined me as well. He pulled me close, tucked my head under his chin and hugged me. I truly enjoyed the warmth but I was still confused as to what was going on. Elijah started talking "You must be wondering why I am doing all of this. To be honest, I am scared as to what is going to happen in the future with us but I will say this. Lucien, what ever you want to do just go and do it. Don't worry about the consequences. I am your older brother. I am will be your guardian and protector until you are ready to protect yourself. I know things will get difficult now but trust me, I am here for you. No matter what, you are my precious baby brother. My light and the last tether of my sanity. Are we clear about this ?"

Hearing him affirm his feelings for me made me feel loved. I knew that Elijah cared for me in my previous life but because of the things Kain and the others did, our bond became cool and distant. My eyes began to mist over when he continued. "I know that you think that you have no one to rely on but from here on, you have me in your corner. I will make sure you will never go through such hardships again like you did in your past life, my little light." I froze. Past life ? Does that mean Elijah knows what exactly happened ? Shall I pretend to brush it off ? However, something in me told me that it would be best to tell him everything.

"What did you see, Elijah ?" I asked shakily. Elijah hugged me tighter and started running his hands in my hair. "Your sadness at me pulling away, our so called parents' indifference, Kain and Max manipulating you, your hard efforts in acting, your sacrifice for painting, your grief and despair for me at my funeral and your death." Elijah's voice trembled. He knows everything.

I hugged him hard and we instantly burst into tears. I cried because Elijah saw my death and I knew that it was painful for him to see me die just like I had felt when he died. I knew that the tears were partly full of relief but also cleansing our souls. We cried for a long time. After some time, I pulled away to look at Elijah's face. His eyes were rimmed red and puffy. We looked like messes.

"I am sorry that you had to see me die like that." I said. Elijah shook his head and looked at me. "No, I am sorry for the fact that you had to see me die and get hurt the way you did." he said. I knew that he meant what he said with his words. I decided to come clean right there and then. "Elijah, there are still a few things that I should confess to." He nodded. I took a deep breath and continued. "I gave up painting because I knew that Kain would cause problems for me down the road especially with how partial Leon and Ilya are, the decision I made back then was for the best. I will still do the same now as I don't see painting as a career but rather as a long term hobby. I chose modelling over acting this time because I always felt a closeness to it. Seeing them walk on the stage, facing the pressure and the aura they have....I knew that it was my dream but Kain and Max always made think that I was a worthless noob who would be better off doing menial roles." I felt Elijah shake in anger. "When I ended up in a relationship with Max, I taught I could forget Valentino. I could forget my feelings for him and move on but I couldn't...." my voice choked due to the lump in my throat. Elijah caressed my cheek as a sign of encouragement."I couldn't stop loving him till my murder. However, I will never have him in my life due to Kain. I want to be friends with him again but I know that he will never consider it ever again. I want to move on and be happy. I want to find love again and share it with you and our real parents. I want save Clive and Decker from Delia. I want you to be finally happy." I looked up into Elijah's eyes. I saw the awe, love and determination in them. I asked him the question that I was carrying in my heart ever since the conservation started.

"Will you join me and securing our future happiness as well as protecting the ones we love ?"

The silence was excruciating. I couldn't help but breathe in heavily because of the tension. However, it all melted away when Elijah spoke.

"Yes. I will help for I wish the same as you."

I looked at him and we smiled. Our brotherhood just got stronger. We will serve justice for all the pain we got.