27 Chapter 27

Two Months Later....

I soon realized that what sucked the most about being unable to finish the fall semester was that I had to retake all of my classes in the spring. I wasn't too excited about that, but I was relieved to find out that Alex was the TA for my art class again.

I was also going to finally see Vic again. I had talked to him a few times, but really I hadn't seen him since I was in the hospital. I was excited about that, but I was also nervous because we were technically

on a break still. I mean, I knew I still loved him and he said he still loved me . . . It was just hard to tell. The amount of uncertainty regarding our relationship had me all tense.

We had plans to meet up after our first day of classes, but I shouldn't have been surprised about running into him before that.

I walked into that same lecture hall for my introductory philosophy class. I hated that I had to retake it, but hopefully it would be easier this time around going over some of the same stuff.

And of course I should have known I wasn't the only one retaking it.

My eyes immediately fell to the brown haired boy in the back row, sitting casually at an empty desk. He stared forward, his body calm and still as he drummed his fingertips against the desk. God, he was as beautiful as ever. I took a deep breath and walked over to him. I opened my mouth to speak but he beat me to it.

"Hey, Kells," he breathed, turning slightly towards me.

"How'd you know it was me?" I asked, taking the seat next to him. The tension I felt released immediately. Talking to him was just as comfortable as it had always been. I could feel myself falling in love with him all over again. My chest swelled, as I looked him over. He still looked just as amazing as always.

"It's you, how could I not know?" he said, with a light chuckle. I smiled at that. The thought of him knowing my footsteps or being familiar enough still to tell that I was around made me so happy. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine . . . you know, better . I don't think I'm fully myself yet, but . . . I'm definitely better," I told him. It was the truth, too. While I was in the hospital I had the chance to speak with a therapist several times and while I hated it at first, I really did think it helped me to get past some things. Talking about the incident was the hardest bridge to cross but I did it, and it really did feel good to figure out a healthy way to cope with it. I mean, I wasn't sure I was ever going to feel perfect, but at least it didn't hurt to smile anymore.

"I'm really glad to hear that," he said, smiling.

"What about you? How are you doing?" I asked, eager to hear about his life. Surely talking about him would be far more interesting than hearing about my time in the hospital.

"I'm doing well. I mean, hey, I'm back, so everything must be good, right?" he laughed. It was so nice to hear him laugh. I loved his laugh so much.

"Yeah, everything's good," I smiled.

---

After class let out, we were both free, so we decided to just go to lunch. We were already talking like we'd never been apart, so the thought of going to lunch with him was much less daunting than it was before. I stopped at the bike rack before we headed off, so that I could walk it with us.

"I thought your bike was stolen?" he inquired, noting that I had the bike beside me as I walked with him. I mean, he didn't see it, but I'm sure he could hear it. The light ticking sound of the spokes as the wheels turned, the rubber rolling against the pavement. I wondered what it was like to hear those sounds as acutely as he could.

"Yeah, but my mom gave me this one for Christmas, which was nice of her," I said, smiling as I looked over the bike. It really was a nice bike, better than my old one, even. "And it's good because I'm not the most punctual person."

"Oh yeah, even I can see that," he teased. I laughed out loud, missing his sense of humor. Seriously, life was a lot less dull with Vic in it. We headed to the edge of campus, to the Thai place that we went to on our first sort-of date. It was just as tasty as it was the first time, though now I had a different reason for enjoying it.

The first time we went here, I was just absolutely fascinated by Vic and thought he was the coolest person ever. And now, well, he was still the coolest person ever, but I had a deeper understanding of his love for food. It was connected to his appreciation for the senses he still had, his appreciation for the life he was living.

I mean, it was something I admired because it was something I was still working on in myself. I couldn't keep trying to please other people, or let my life revolve around whether or not other people were happy with my choices. The only thing that mattered was whether or not I was happy.

And I was happy. Wearing colorful clothes made me happy; getting paint on my face because I was so into my work made me happy; being with Vic even though he wasn't perfect made me happy. Reminding myself of these things was necessary in case my mind ever went dark again.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked me, pulling me from my thoughts. I smiled at him, my eyes softening as they fixated on his face.

"Hmm?" I said, almost dreamily.

"You just got really quiet . . . you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," I sighed, smiling as another thought crossed my mind. "Hey Vic?"

"What's up?" he asked.

"I love you," I said, quietly. He set the forkful of food that he was about to eat back down, smiling almost uncontrollably. That seemed like a good sign.

"I love you, too," he insisted, holding his hand out across the table. I reached out and threaded my fingers with his, enjoying the little moment. His hand was warm and strong and I couldn't wait to hug him after we were done. I truly missed his hugs more than anything.

"How's Mike?" I asked, just trying to make conversation. As nice as it was to just sit here holding hands and gushing, I really did want to catch up with him.

"He's alright. I think he said he's trying to join a club sport," he shrugged. I didn't know much about what happened, but apparently he and Justin were more or less kicked out of Alpha Sigma Sigma. I knew part of me should have felt bad, but I really didn't. More than anything I was happy that they were done with that shitty fraternity. I knew they were both better than that, anyway. "Are you still rooming with Justin?"

"Yeah . . . I mean, for a while I thought I was going to have to change, but he's come around. I mean, he did technically save my life, after all," I shrugged, shifting uncomfortably as I recalled that dark time. Luckily I was in a place where I could look back and be thankful that I wasn't successful with that attempt.

"Yeah, he did. I'm so thankful for that," he said, squeezing my hand again. His voice had a slight twinge of sadness to it, and I remembered how scared he must have been hearing that I had attempted suicide. It freaked out a lot of people, which was something I was surprised to learn while I was recovering. I was fully convinced that I was alone in the world before that.

"Yeah, me too . . . but enough about that, I don't want to talk about that. This is supposed to be happy- we're together again," I said, shaking my head and laughing. I cleared my throat as my voice started to waver with uncertainty. "We are together again, right? Boyfriend?"

"Yeah, of course," he grinned. "Boyfriend."

"Yay, that's great," I said, excitedly. "Speaking of which, I'm starting a painting project in my art class and I decided that when I'm done with it, I'm going to give it to you."

"Really?" he asked. I knew it probably sounded silly to give my blind boyfriend a painting, but I knew he'd probably appreciate what I had planned. It was going to be great.

"Yep, and it can go up in your room, with all your posters and pictures," I said, just like it was totally normal. Because it was. Everything with Vic felt normal and right.

"That's . . . thanks Kells, I can't wait," he said, his voice genuine and appreciative.

After a few more minutes of talking, we finished our food and left the restaurant. He held my hand as we walked back to campus and he dropped me off at my dorm building so he could head back to his apartment. Apparently he'd moved back in with Mike and their other roommates.

"I'll see you later," I told him, pulling him in for a tight embrace. I inhaled deeply, taking in his scent that was a mixture of clean, whatever aftershave he used, and something distinct that was just Vic . It made my heart so happy.

"Same . . . well, I won't, but you know," he chuckled.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," I chuckled, pulling back. I took a deep breath before I asked my next question. "Can I kiss you?"

"Of course," he replied, just as simple as that. I smiled and held onto his shoulders as I leaned in. I pressed my lips softly against his, taking in every single moment as his moved against them in response. His lips were soft and gentle, the familiarity of our intimacy flooding back to me. I kissed him a little harder, capturing his bottom lip between mine. I could feel him smiling against me as our lips continued to slide together.

Everything seemed to come together in that moment. I missed kissing him so much, and it was more than enough to reassure me that that spark we had was still there. The feeling in my chest was like this frenzy of butterflies. Butterflies that were still there after all this time. It really hadn't been that long, but to me it felt like an eternity.

"I love you," I told him, separating but not by much. He smiled as I wrapped my arms around his waist, holding onto him as tight as I could.

"I should get going," he chuckled brushing his lips across my cheek. His arms were still around me, his grip unwavering. I didn't want to let go of him either. It just felt so good to know that I had him back, that he never really left me.

"Yeah," I breathed. He grinned but stretched forward again, his lips searching for mine. I happily complied, reconnecting my lips with his and diving back into that wonderful altered state of reality I was in whenever I was kissing Vic Fuentes.

Finally, I pulled back, my lips feeling flushed and wet. I reluctantly slipped my arms from around his waist and opted for squeezing his hand.

"I love you, too, by the way," he said, almost in a daze as he answered my proclamation from a few moments ago. "We'll hang out again soon."

"Yeah, of course," I breathed.

For the first time in a long time I had that feeling where I just couldn't stop smiling.