"What? What do you mean?" I asked, completely forgetting the distress I was in for a moment. "What did they do to Vic?"
"What are you talking about?" Mike asked me, looking confused. I winced as I sat up. Mike gave me a concerned look and I winced again as he turned the lights on. "Holy shit, what happened to you?"
He was probably talking about the fact that my hair was a mess; maybe I had a bruise on my face or something. I was still in pain, so I wasn't exactly standing up straight. Either way I looked rough, and I felt even worse.
"I . . . it doesn't matter," I said quietly, not willing to even admit to myself that I had been raped. Just that word going through my head made me sick. I couldn't even think about it. I could barely think about anything, especially knowing that Vic was in trouble, too. I hoped to God that he wasn't in the same predicament.
"What, you think someone here beat him up or some shit?" Mike asked, in disbelief. I shrugged and nodded at the same time. "Fuck, I thought maybe he just wandered off . . .fuck, now I'm hoping he wandered off."
Mike came closer and I flinched, but ultimately let him help me to my feet. He's just helping .
"We need to find him," I said, trying to ignore everything. I told myself that I needed to concentrate on finding my boyfriend and making sure he was okay. I didn't want to be selfish.
"I'll look for him, you look like you need to rest," Mike said, sounding genuinely concerned. I shook my head furiously. I absolutely refused to not be a part of finding Vic. He was mine and I loved him and I needed to make sure he was okay. "I can find Justin and see if he'll take you home-"
"No, I'm coming with you," I said, stubbornly, as Justin conveniently appeared in the doorway. I froze and stared at him. Suddenly, I was just so overcome with rage that my eyes filled with tears all over again. He was the one that made me come to this stupid party- this was his fault!
"Shit, Kellin, are you alright? I've been looking for you," He said, breathlessly. He stepped closer and I immediately pulled away.
"Don't touch me," I said, defensively, shaking my head. "I can't trust you anymore, Justin."
"What, I'm-" He looked considerably confused. I wondered if he had any idea what had happened, but no matter what, he still let it happen. I wouldn't have- it wouldn't have happened if I never agreed to come to this stupid party.
"Guys, we can argue about this later, I need to find my brother," Mike said, urgently. I agreed with that, so I shut up for the time being. I followed Mike out of the room and we shoved through the people who were still partying to find the way out. Justin tagged along close behind me.
Fresh air felt nice, but it didn't make me feel any better. I pulled out my phone and tried calling Vic. I wondered if Mike tried calling him, too.
"Vic!" I shouted out into the night, hoping that his stellar hearing would kick in and he'd be able to hear me from wherever he was. Oh my god, I was so worried about him. I didn't want him to be hurt, and I definitely didn't want anyone to have taken advantage of him. The thought of someone touching him the way they touched me just made my stomach turn and I had to blink back more tears.
"When was the last time you saw him, do you know?" Mike asked me. I shrugged.
"It was when I was saying hi to him at the party and then Alex and Zack . . . I bet they did something to him. I bet Alex and Jack-" I said, my voice shaking as I spoke. I couldn't even wrap my head around what was going on, I was so distraught. This was supposed to be a fun night, not a terrifying one!
"You think they did it? I doubt they would . . . " Justin asked, confused. I wanted to slap him; I couldn't believe it. Was he seriously defending them? After what they did?
"Yes they would, Justin!" I shouted, getting angry. "They're assholes!"
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, I - fuck, what am I supposed to do?" Justin asked, exasperated. I could tell he felt guilty, but it wasn't really good enough for me. I called Vic again, and still got his voicemail.
"Hey, look," Mike said, drawing our attention to Alex, who was making out with some girl at the side of the house. They probably thought no one could see them or something the way they were going at it. I was kind of afraid to even look at him, but Mike marched right over and shoved Alex away from the girl.
"What the fuck?" Alex said, defensively. "The fuck are you doing, fuentes?"
"Where the hell is my brother?" He demanded to know. Alex stared at him a moment and just laughed, which just pissed me off even further.
"He'll be fine, don't worry," Alex chuckled. I could tell by the way that he spoke that he was still drunk. And luckily, Mike wasn't taking no for an answer, and subsequently shoved Alex harder against the wall of the house.
"This isn't fucking funny, Alex!" he yelled. "You fucking tell me where he is or I swear to god-"
"Okay, Jesus Christ , get off me," he scoffed, shoving Mike away before brushing himself off. "A couple of the guys just thought it would be fun to see how well he could get around without that stupid stick thing."
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Justin spoke, sounding just as furious with him. I guess that meant Justin might not have known what was going on. But still, I didn't trust him. Not at all. Not anymore.
"You're fucking sick," Mike spat, his eyes glowing with rage. I had never seen him so angry. " Where is he ?"
"Chill! Fuck, man, I don't remember-"
"Well you better fucking remember," Mike warned, raising his fist. Alex flinched and raised his hand in surrender.
"Okay, okay, Jesus, fuck, he's in - i don't know . . . .um, oh! The soccer field on campus! That's where they-"
Mike didn't even give Alex time to finish before he gave Alex a solid blow to the face. I jumped a little, not expecting the violence, but I guess it didn't matter that much. Now that we knew where Vic was, all we needed to do was find him.
"Let's go," Mike said, running towards campus from the frat house. I tried to run after him, but it was hard to keep up. My motivation was the knowledge that Vic was probably scared and distraught and I wanted to be there to comfort him. I was cold and in pain, but none of that even mattered to me anymore.
"Vic!" I shouted again once we reached the edge of the dark field. There were no lights on the field, so it was hard to make out exactly where objects were.
But then I heard his voice, and even though it was sad, it was like music to my ears, because it meant that he wasn't lost anymore.
"Kellin?" he questioned, and I turned in the direction of his voice and could make out his hunched form lying in the grass. I gasped and ran over to him, followed by Mike and Justin.
"Vic, Vic, I'm here, are you okay?" I asked, helping him to sit up and throwing my arms around him. Oh god, it felt so good to hold him. It felt so good to be close to someone I actually loved . . . and then I felt guilty. I felt like I had cheated on him, even though it really wasn't my fault. There was just so much guilt and so many emotions. I was a mess. I just hugged him tighter and tried to choke back sobs. This wasn't a good time for that.
"Oh my god, I'm - fuck, I don't know where I am," he sobbed, sounding panicked. He buried himself into me and I locked my arms around his shoulders. "I was so scared."
"I know, I know, you're okay," I assured him, even though I couldn't even reassure myself that I was okay. He mattered more, anyway.
"I want to go home," he said, quickly. "I need to get out of here."
"I'm here, Vic," Mike said, stepping in. "Come on, we're gonna go home now, Justin's getting us an Uber."
"I- I need help," he choked, and it broke my heart, because I knew how much he hated asking for help. I knew how much pride he had to swallow, especially to admit to his brother that he needed his help.
Mike just nodded and grabbed Vic's hands to help him to his feet. I watched sadly as Vic clung to Mike's arm so that he could lead him off of the field. The four of us walked silently to the street corner where the Uber driver said he could pick us up. The tension in the air was almost unreal.
"God, I'm so sorry all of this shit happened," Justin finally said, after a while. He sounded remorseful, if anything. "I knew they were planning on messing with you but I didn't think it would be- "
"Wait, you knew?" Vic asked, sounding just as angry as I felt. He was quicker with his words than I was. "Did you know that too, Mike?"
"Um . . . I mean . . ." Mike said, suddenly looking very guilty. "God, Vic, I'm so sorry ."
"What the fuck!" He shouted. As if on cue, the car we were looking for pulled up, ready to take us home.
I felt the hot tears in my eyes again. They knew. Justin and Mike knew shit would happen.
"The Uber's here," Mike said, trying to change the subject. He opened the car door and got in, waiting for Vic to follow. But stayed rooted where he was.
"No, Kellin and I are calling our own," Vic said firmly. "This is bull shit."
"Come on, Kells, this is ridiculous. Just come with us," Justin begged. I shook my head, tears stinging my eyes all over again. "We'll talk in the morning, I promise, but now we need to go-"
"You knew ?" I asked, hurt. My own best friend set me up to be- to get- "How could you do this to me, Justin?!"
"I thought it was going to just be a harmless prank or something, I didn't think they'd jump you-" he said, his eyes scanning over the bruises. I was fuming. I was feeling every emotion I could possibly feel all at once and it was so overwhelming, I thought I was going to explode.
" Fuck you Justin!" I screamed, so hysterically that even Vic reached out and put a hand on my shoulder. "Do you know what they fucking did?"
"No, I just said I didn't know they'd beat you up, and I'm sorry, but-"
"They raped me!" I shouted, causing everyone to go silent, even Vic. Mike stared at Justin and Justin kept his eyes on me. His mouth was agape, his eyes suddenly wide. Oh my god. Tears were flowing freely and I didn't know how to stop. I was just so, so mad. I was angry and hurt, and I just. I couldn't deal.
"Go, we're calling our own ride," I said, firmly, though my voice was still shaking. Justin nodded and slid back into the car. They shut the door behind them. I watched as the driver changed gears and went to do a U-turn in the intersection.
I was about to turn to Vic and ask whether or not he hated me, but then something else happened.
I didn't even see it coming, but from practically out of nowhere, another car sped through the intersection and collided with theirs, sending it spinning into a tree on the other side.
I gasped, absolutely horrified at what I'd just witnessed. I stared ahead at the scene in front of me, in complete shock. Everything that I was feeling before came to an abrupt halt.
"Kells . . . please tell me that wasn't their car."