5 Chapter 4

Tracy Collins was still in her dressing gown watching telly while she got ready for work. She was on a late shift today. She worked on a cosmetics counter at Simmons department store on Holloway Road. Because Christmas opening hours had just begun, her shift started at two today and would go on until nine.

Her husband Steve had left for work already so Tracy didn't have to bother about anything other than putting on her face for work. She liked the noise of the television to keep her company while she got ready. She listened to the news as she wandered in and out of the bathroom between applying layers of make-up.

' Damn .'

It all seemed to be going so well then she dropped an eyelash just as she was about to glue it into place. Tracy knelt on the lino and tried to pick it up between her finger and thumb but her acrylic nails were too thick at their ends. Instead she licked the pad of her forefinger and pressed it down on the lash. She stood back up and deposited it on the side of the sink, stopping to listen to the reporter on the telly in the other room.

'Today a woman's body was found beneath the ice in the Regent's Canal at King's Cross.' Tracy walked back into the lounge, looking at the TV screen – at the image of the fog and the frozen canal. 'Police are not yet able to identify the woman and are treating her death as suspicious. They are appealing for any witnesses and anyone with any information to come forward and ring the number on the screen.'

Tracy moved closer to the screen to get a better look at the canal and the crime scene tent. She knew the area well. She'd had many walks along the canal. She knew that exact spot. As she swung her head in disbelief and squinted at the images of the crime scene tent she caught a glimpse of an Italian-looking detective with immaculate black shiny hair and a stripy scarf pulled up around his chin. Then, a few seconds later, she saw a blonde-haired woman in a white forensic suit emerging from the tent. Just as she was absorbed with watching the report the phone rang and made Tracy jump. She ran and grabbed it from the bathroom where she'd left it on top of the toilet cistern.

Her heart thumped as she looked at the number on the screen.

'Yes?' she said abruptly.

She hadn't meant to sound so jumpy. The news, the disturbance to her routine had done it. She was jittery.

'Is it a bad time?' It was a woman's voice on the other end of the line.

'No. Sorry. You just caught me, that's all. I'm getting ready for work.' She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

'Is it still okay for today?' the woman asked.

'Yes. Yes, of course.' Tracy said, her voice metre swinging too high. 'I'm looking forward to it. But – I'm sorry – I don't have long. It will just have to be a quick chat today. You do understand? It's Christmas opening hours and we're going to be really busy in the shop.'

'Yeah. You said before.'

'Oh sorry . . . of course . . . I'm just nervous. Are you still bringing your son with you – Jackson, isn't it?'

'I don't have a choice. He only goes to school in the mornings.'

'And you know where it is?'

'Yes.'

'That's fine, as I said, there's a Christmas Fayre just around the corner from me. We can meet thereby Santa's Grotto.'

'Okay. See you there.'

'But I don't know what you look like.'

'I'll know you,' the woman answered.

'Oh . . . all right. Well, I'll see you at four then. I'm looking forward it.' Tracy was just about to ask her how she would know her when the phone went dead. 'Hello? Danielle?' Tracy looked at the phone in her hand for a few seconds. Had she handled that well? Had she come across okay? She sighed and set about saving the number: new contact.

Tracy felt butterflies in her stomach. Some of it was guilt. She hadn't told Steve what she was up to. She didn't know why but it didn't seem a good idea; not until she was sure what would come of it. She went back into the bathroom and applied fresh glue to the eyelash on the side of the sink. As she waited for her hand to stop shaking she looked at her reflection. Danielle must have come into Simmons and seen Tracy behind the counter. What had she thought? She always tried to make a good impression and to look her best. Had she looked okay that day? She must have, she supposed, otherwise Danielle wouldn't want to see her, let alone bring her son.

Tracy paused, eyelash on her finger, and looked into her reflection. She felt old suddenly. She looked at herself and frowned. Thirty-six wasn't old. Deep inside she was still the same girl she used to be. She still wore the same make-up she'd worn as a teenager. Her hair was dyed to keep it looking vibrant. Her skirts were longer now. But inside she was the same girl who'd got pregnant at fifteen.