28 Her Wish To Conquer

When Anoi glanced at him, their eyes met. He looked like he really awaited her reply. Her face scrunched up the way one does when their new socks get wet because they stepped in a random puddle on a kitchen floor.

"Tell me, are you serious?" She asked.

Oh boy, she felt she started getting curious about him. There is something satisfying in finding out new facts about the person you knew very little about, like unlocking a mysterious box. And she wanted to know what this man was thinking. She knew this wasn't right. The more you know, the shorter your life gets. She thought after being reborn she wouldn't want to deal with him. But there was slight expectation of something... She wanted to turn the situation around. Change the fate.

Anoi was the type of people who wanted to be in control. She didn't remember when it started, but she was the one to decide how her life unfolds. The reason her life was mediocre, was because she chose it to be mediocre, because she consciously decided to not care about how it goes, and not because she was an autumn leaf, that flew into the direction it was blown.

She was the one who chose to walk away in a relationship. She was the one who chose to let go of her ex. She was the one who nodded when he said he's marrying another.

She decided to work under That Woman. She decided to not be ambitious. She decided to let others do whatever they wanted.

So it really threw her off, that she was kidnapped. It broke something in her, when she realized life can go unplanned. Of course, she knew that life is unexpected, but before, whenever life went unplanned, she'd adjust to it. It was her decision to adjust, and she also knew that she could change it at any time she wanted. At least, that's what she thought.

Turns out, she couldn't adjust to getting killed. Because after losing her life, there'd normally be nothing to unjust to.

Crawling in the dark room, she couldn't accept that some people wanted her dead, and were able to break the flow of her well-managed life.

And Anoi didn't like that.

It made her panic.

In the darkness, she thought about wanting to change everything around. To regain the grip over her life. But, it was impossible. Because she was already dead.

Upon her rebirth, Anoi didn't act the same. The realization that life is short and swift and doesn't wait for you to bud into a beautiful flower and you have to do it yourself, made some alterations in her mind and thoughts.

Yet, there was some things about her that didn't change.

It was this wish, of always, always wanting to be in charge of her life. And she was even more determined of remaining in power, after being robbed of it in her last moments.

Perhaps this was a utopian, idealistic wish, but she wanted to change as much as she wanted. Whatever she couldn't monitor or command in her past, she will do it now!

Gazing at the Lint and remembering how he tortured her, a sudden silly thought appeared in her mind.

Her first wish, was to restrain this man. Not only will she make sure he won't slaughter her, she will make him into an asset.

Then, after making him into a tool, her tool, she will look back at her life, remembering how once he murdered her. She will enjoy the fact she battled the fate. No, she'll prove fate never existed. It will be like conquering a mountain, that you failed to conquer in your past.

She can dictate her life, and she'll begin by this man.

"Tell me, why do you want to marry me?" she asked.