16 Depression
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Alex stumbled back into his house in a daze. His gaze was far away and he collapsed into a chair right after he closed the door. The interior of his home now felt actually filled, with tables and chairs and couches, at this moment though it all felt empty. Desolate.
The bag in which he had the medicines was carefully set down next to his mother's bedside, a week's worth of life saving medicine was all that was left. There was no other reliable source than Doctor Wo, and now he was imprisoned for the same thing that let his mother live.
Who knew that the world would be so cruel as to shred the faint happiness he had from a successful adventure and from buying stuff from his own hard earned money. He chuckled darkly, of course, street shits like him were never destined for happiness. They would forever get fucked up the ass the moment they showed any real progress towards something better.
The nobles, the gods and even fate itself conspired to never let them progress. It was their fate, no matter how strong he was, no matter how much he gained, they will always be someone to bring him down.
Alex fell to his knees beside his mother, eyes hollow and lifeless. He hugged her for a long while, relieving the few memories he had left of her.
"Mom, why do we always have to suffer?" He whispered and brushed away a tear. "Why can't we just be happy?"
He stayed there for a long while, contemplating existence. For a while Alex had these strange thoughts, of how all of his suffering could be solved if he just…ended himself. Death wasn't so bad afterall, and the afterlife might have a chance of being pleasant, an amazing deal relative to the zero chance of his situation getting better.
A noose would do it, or a magically sharp rapier to the brain. He would meet his mother and father there, finally get back his family and get all he ever wanted in life. It wasn't a bad idea, he would make sure mother would go peacefully and he would…end it all.
No one cared for him here, Jacob was an old friend but with his new life as a guard he would quickly forget about him and Father Orkon would understand, he always did.
The rapier found itself into his lap and Alex smiled at its sharp edges. He casually brushed the edges and got cut. He remembered once, him and his father were eating stew on a silent night, both of them content at that moment.
He had asked him a question, it felt right at the time.
"Dad, how do you keep going everyday? Knowing that you will never get what you want?" Alex had said.
His father stayed silent for a long while, his eyes focused on Mercy outside.
"Because I believe those who give up aren't worthy of being called men. And when you are not a real man, you will have a tiny wee wee." He had started to laugh his head off while Alexander facepalmed.
Alex laughed at the memory. It was stupid answer to a good question, yet it still had a bit of wisdom in it. His father had never given up until his death, years after years of hardship and he still continued chasing an ever elusive cure.
And he, his son, was giving up not even a month after his death? What was he? A man with a little wee wee. Alex giggled and wiped away the tears.
He stood up and straightened his clothes, today was not the day he gave up. Grabbing a pouch of coins filled with silvers, Alex exited his home and walked.
A while later, he found himself in an affluent district. The houses here were two stories and the stores were filled with produce, it wasn't rich per say but very well off. How he would have loved to delve deep into the fantasies of owning a house of this calibre, at this moment though he had another goal too urgent for the satisfaction of a whim
There was a clinic in this district. It was reportedly staffed by several doctors and had fair prices, the only downside was that they exclusively serviced those with a special pass that required proof of ownership of a moderately wealthy property.. It was to brush off the rif rafe that was not profitable to the clinic.
It also earned a deep enmity from the poor populace, but they couldn't do anything against it. All clinics were supported by the Colleges, and by association, protected by the Colleges and their infamous mage kill teams.
That didn't deter Alex, with his new resolve he wasn't going to be repulsed by a measly pass. And he knew that any man had a weakness to coin, so perhaps he could convince one of the doctors to pass him the medicine.
Steeling himself and stopping his shaking hands, Alex swung his head up and walked confidently through the front door. What he saw when inside was an empty lounge and a fair woman behind a counter writing down on a scroll of paper.
His footsteps echoed through the room, his new hard leather boots alerting his presence to the clerk. Her eyes found his and a smile quickly formed while checking out his garb. He wore his good clothes, just to make sure he would get through the door without getting dismissed straight out.
"Hello Mister to Honder's Clinic, how may we help you?" The lady stood from her chair and gave him her full attention.
"I'm here to buy some medicine from your clinic." Aled stressed his point by leaning over the counter, the lady leaning away and her smile faltering.
"I'm sorry to say this sir, but we can't sell medicine without a Proof of Wealth and a special permission slip that has been required for a few weeks now." She said politely.
"Look, I'm sure that there is a doctor working right now. So why don't you just call him so I could talk to him, he will understand once we had time to converse." Alex tried to persuade the girl, yet she was hesitant. He looked the part of an affluent man and despite that he couldn't show a proof.
"I'm sorry but I can't do that." The girl backed away as Alex grip on the counter began to make it creak. Suddenly, the tension in the room was broken by a door opening from the side. A young man wearing glasses came out and smiled at Alex.
"No need to terrify the innocent lady, I'm sure we could resolve this issue over a cup of tea." The doctor then stepped aside and motioned him to enter through the door.
Alex glared at the woman and entered the room.
