Welcome to the School Life of Your Dreams

"Ayanokouji-kun, do you have a moment?"

She came. She was here. It was terrifying. I'd been feigning sleep

during class, pondering society's true purpose while I pretended to nap, when

the devil approached me. Shostakovich's Symphony No. 11 played in my

head, music that captured the sense of people fleeing from pursuing demons

and the desperation that comes at the end of the world. Right then, it was the

perfect accompaniment.

Even though my eyes were closed, I understood. I could feel the devil's

presence as she waited for her slave to awaken. So, as a slave, how exactly

could I get out of this situation?

My computer-like brain instantly executed all the calculations to arrive

at the answer I most needed.

Conclusion: I'd pretend not to hear her. I had dubbed this the "Sleeping

Strategy." If she were a kind girl, then she would say something like, "Aw,

well, there's nothing to be done. I'd feel bad to wake you, so I'll forgive

you. ★" "If you don't get up, I'll kiss you!" would also be okay.

"If you do not awaken within three seconds, I will bestow additional

punishment upon you."

"What do you mean, 'punishment'?" I asked.

In an instant, I'd abandoned my "Sleeping Strategy" and yielded to her

threats of force. Well, at least I offered some resistance by not meeting her

gaze.

"See, you are awake after all, aren't you?" she said.

"I know enough that I'm afraid to make you angry."

"Glad to hear it. Well then, may I have a little of your time?"

"If I refuse?"

"Well, even though you have no right to veto such a decision, I

suppose I would be exceptionally displeased."

She continued with, "And when I am displeased, then I will prove a

major obstacle to your school life, Ayanokouji-kun. For example, I might set

a great number of thumbtacks on your chair. Or, when you go to the toilet, I

might splash water on you from above. Or stab you with the needle of my

mathematical compass. Those kinds of obstacles, I suppose."

"That's nothing but harassment, or rather, bullying! And besides, that

last one sounds strangely familiar, because you've already stabbed me

before!"

I reluctantly sat up at my desk. A girl with beautiful, sharp eyes and

long black hair that framed her face stared down at me. Her name was

Horikita Suzune, a student of the Tokyo Metropolitan Advanced Nurturing

High School, Class D, and my classmate.

"Don't worry. That was only a joke. I wouldn't splash water on you

from above."

"What's more pressing are the thumbtacks and the compass needle!

Look at this! There are still marks from when you stabbed me the last time!

Will you take responsibility if it scars me for life?" I rolled up my right

sleeve and displayed my forearm to Horikita, so she could see the scars she'd

left behind.

"Evidence?" she asked.

"Huh?"

"What about the evidence? Did you decide I'm the culprit without

evidence?"

She was right; there was no evidence. Even though Horikita was the

only one in class close enough to stab me with a needle, I'd be hard-pressed

to call that definitive proof…

Well, I needed to confirm something first anyway.

"So, I'm required to help you? I've thought on it again, and, after all, I

—"

"Ayanokouji-kun. Would you prefer to regret while you suffer or regret

while you despair? Which would you like more? Because if you refuse meand force my hand, it will be your responsibility."

I was stuck with Horikita's two completely absurd choices. It appeared

she would not accept any delays. Though it was a mistake to make a deal

with this devil, I gave up and obeyed.

"All right, then. What am I supposed to do?" I asked, filled with

trepidation. Her requests no longer surprised me. I certainly didn't like how

this situation had turned out, but… I thought back to when I'd met this girl

two months ago, on the day of the entrance ceremony.