21 Moving On

{...*You have done well, little prince...sleep...you won't die...}

 The Emperor opened his eyes, immediately sat up in bed panting, his eyes frantically scanned around the surroundings and then he calmed down remembering where he was and then closed his eyes to calm himself.

The doors opened and Eunuch Li entered and looked at the Emperor's pale face with worry, "Your majesty, are you alright?"

{...Nightmares again? and here I thought he was okay with it all and maybe even excited...but it seems having women enter the harem must still be hard on him...but it's not something he can avoid forever...}

 The Emperor didn't respond. Eunuch Li moved to the side and poured some water and brought the cup to the bed, and held it out to the emperor, "Your majesty, have some water."

The Emperor opened his eyes, sighed and reached out to take the cup, but then noticed his hand was shaking and then quickly withdrew his hand and stood up, "I'm going for a walk."

Eunuch Li put the cup on the table and then helped the emperor put on a cloak and then they both went out of the room.

 It was still dark outside, the Emperor didn't go far but just walked around in his palace and then ended up standing alone in the pavilion by the lotus pond, staring at the moon's reflection in the pond.

Whenever he dreams of that day it always unnerves him and memories of the past whirl around in his mind. He had done everything she wanted, everything to please her.

She said study, he studied hard, by the age of 5 he had memorized various texts and strategy books.

She said to learn the qin and art, and he practiced every day till his fingers hurt. She said practice martial arts - he'd spar with Eunuch Li every morning, getting beaten to a pulp while she calmly watched on the side.

Whenever his father's wandering eyes went to another woman, he would get punished for not being smart enough, for not reciting fast enough, for playing the wrong tune, for his painting being ugly, for not being strong enough, for crying, for being weak...for not being perfect.

 His punishments consisted of a whipping, then not being allowed to eat or rest until he perfected whatever she was not happy with, or until his father turned her way again, and if she got impatient then she would get his attention with a "sick" child.

Although Eunuch Li tried to help him when he could, he was now her servant even though they were once childhood friends. His words could only do so much, and when she was enraged, she paid no heed to them at all.

His life comprised of study, practice, study...but yet he was still not good enough, and even now, as Emperor, he was still not good enough in her eyes.

 He had realized earlier on that he would never be good enough in her eyes, and he didn't care anymore. He thought to hate her, and at one point he did, after all, even though he could understand her rage and hate and felt sympathy for her, but in the end, none of it was his fault.

There's also the fact that he had a responsibility to Eunuch Li and the remnants of the Xia army who pledged allegiance to him and secretly supported him in the shadows all these years. For their sake, he can't hate her.

 He had once thought his mother was a special case until he was sent to live with the empress. While the empress didn't try to actively poison him, she had turned him to her seize the throne project, and his life was not much different from before.

It was then he realized that all the women in the harem were the same; unhappy, anxious, and filled with rage. Although, most of their rage was directed at the other women and their children, and not at the Emperor as his mother's was. But they all felt rage nonetheless and all of it was his father's fault. He tightly fisted his hands as his thoughts reached this point.

The first thing the Empress dowager did after being released from the cold palace was to go to his tombstone and bitterly weep. To others, it was the scene of a faithful wife mourning the loss of her dear husband that she had missed, but the Emperor knew that she was grieving over the fact that he was gone and she wasn't the one who ended him.

The Empress dowager hated her Emperor for good reason. After all, he had ruined her country when he was supposed to protect it. Despite this, he still loved her in his own twisted way. 

There was also the fact that she made multiple attempts at his life at random, and did many cruel things he knew she did to get his attention, but he never punished her wrongdoings. He always ignored and covered them up, until she had committed one too big for him to hide. 

If not for the ministers requesting for her death, he probably wouldn't have banished her to the cold palace, vowing never to see her again to appease them to keep her life. On the threat of her ending her own life, he had even sent his 5-year-old son to keep her company in exile.

The Emperor was almost certain that if the ministers hadn't seen him that day when he escaped, his father would have sent him back to her.

The Emperor sighed, perhaps that was his father's way of repenting. Either way, this was all in the past, it was pointless to think about this, he knew that. He sat at the table in the center of the pavilion, where there was tea on the side and paper and ink, he picked up a brush and began to draw.

{...It makes sense that I would dream of that...given what happened today...It's been a couple of years since I last heard that voice...but why did it happen with her?...It must have be responsible for the Empress "proposal"...is that what it wants, for her to be my empress?...but why?...}

Not that he was against the idea, after all, she's Yong's sister. He just need not expect it to be involved for something like this. This enlightened voice had only spoken to him on four other occasions. The first was the memory he dreamed of, and the other three had been during his time on the battlefield. 

Initially, he had believed he had dreamed up the first experience, a hallucination from the poisoning. So when he had heard it the second time, he paid it no mind, and he paid dearly for that. He almost died in an ambush, experience has taught him not to go against it. It never responded when he called, and always gave swift and quick orders when it surfaced.

It always seemed to work to preserve him, but it had only ever surfaced when his life was in danger, up until yesterday. It .was indeed curious

Eunuch Li came up to the pavilion, bowed and said, "Your majesty, Commander An has returned."

"Let him come." The emperor calmly said without looking up from his drawing. Eunuch Li looked towards Commander An and nodded.

Commander An came forward and bowed in greeting, "Emperor."

"En." The emperor simply responded as he continued to draw.

"They've met." Commander An calmly reported.

"En, and the slave trader?"

"He has been taken care of."

"Good." The emperor said calmly, putting down the brush and scrutinizing his work

{...One less wretch in the world...if I had my way, they'd all lose their heads...}

 "Once he leaves the city, they no longer need to cover his tracks and have them leak his whereabouts to Lei Yong and pull back. "

"Understood."

The emperor looked up and handed the drawing to Commander An, "Find out everything about this girl, she is the defense minister's eldest daughter, Lei Xing. Do it yourself, I want every detail."

Commander An took the drawing and looked at it.

"There's no rush, so be thorough."

"Understood." Commander An bowed and left.

 "Won't it be better to ask General Lei about his sister?" Eunuch Li asked looking at the emperor.

"There are some things he wouldn't be able to answer."

Eunuch Li nodded and smiled, "You seem particularly interested in this girl? Is there something special?"

"Who knows..." The emperor said as he poured himself a cup of tea.

Eunuch Li sighed and then put on a serious expression, "Are you sure about this move? The military -"

 The emperor raised a hand to stop him, "One must sacrifice something to be able to gain something. Even if they have that doesn't mean they can predict our moves or win, also I don't plan on waging any wars, but if they do feel confident enough to attack, then I have no choice but to counterattack. That is if they can gather the confidence."

The Emperor laid back in his seat, picked up the teacup, and sipped it while gazing at the sky.

Eunuch Li looked at him, sighed, and left him to his solitude, as he preferred at times like this. The Emperor turned and watched as eunuch Li left, then looked back to the sky.

{...They all worry too much, or perhaps I don't worry enough...but how can one win big without taking some risks? If I lose, then I lose...}

***

 Lei Xing had a hard time falling asleep that night, she was angry, worried, anxious, and just plain unhappy with the turn of events.

The next morning, she was woken up early in the morning because she had to prepare to greet the Empress dowager, which further irritated her. Still, by the time she had taken a bath, picked at her breakfast, and gotten dressed to go out, she had relatively calmed down and thought things through.

{...Okay, I may have been a little bit, okay maybe a lot, reckless last night with the Emperor but...thankfully, he didn't get angry, if he did...now that I'm thinking about it, I am getting angry again...calm down, calm down, we are already here so we have to calmly get through this...no point getting angry...}

 Lei Xing sighed as she arrived at the empress dowager's palace. It seemed again that she was the last person to arrive.

The Imperial wives had all gathered orderly in front of her palace doors, the concubines, who were dressed lavishly but simply compared to the other three standing in front of them, and Lei Xing who just arrived.

{...As usual, it seems they all sprint...}

 As she walked up to them, the concubines bowed to her and she walked forward to take her place in the front of the line with the other noble consorts, when she looked at them, she was somewhat taken aback.

{...What are the odds?...}

 The other three noble consorts were her courtyard mates, Lady Yu, Lady Jin, and copycat Lady Lian.

{...Well, they must hate us as a collective now hahaha - there's really nothing to laugh at -_-)...}

 When Lei Xing arrived at the front, Lady Yu smiled and nodded to her, Lady Lian cast her a side glance, scoffed, and snobbishly looked forward and Lady Jin glared at her. Lei Xing rolled her eyes in her head.

{...I hate my presence here too, okay!...}

 Lei Xing ignored the other two and nodded at Lady Yu in response and then stood in the empty spot beside her.

After waiting for a while longer, they were summoned inside by Ling mama, who it turns out is a person from the Empress dowager's palace.

{...No wonder she was so confident...even if any of them hold a grudge, who would casually pick on her?...}

 They went inside and kowtowed towards the Empress dowager who was seated on her high seat. They were required to kowtow as this was officially the first time they were greeting the family elder.

The Empress dowager smiled, "En, you can all get up." They thanked her and got up.

The Empress dowager scanned their faces and then said, "Song'er, isn't this such a welcome sight, beautiful vibrant faces finally setting this palace alight."

 Song mama beside the dowager smiled and said, "It is your majesty, very soon we will have the beautiful faces of children to further liven the atmosphere."

The Empress dowager laughed and then said, "You have all heard her, I expect you to work hard to quickly make her words come true."

Lei Xing sighed in her head, the girls all bashfully smiled, and Lei Xing scrubbed up a smile as well.

{...Great, What fun -_-)'...}

 "Good, good, take your seats." The girls bowed and then went off to sit.

There were low tables and seat sets on the left and right from the platform the dowager was seated. The noble consorts took their seats at the front, two on each side, and the concubines sat after them.

On each table, there was a book titled, "Virtues of Imperial women". Lei Xing looked down at the book and groaned in her mind.

{...Just how I'd like to spend my morning...studying how to be a "woman"...}

 "While I know you are all familiar with the virtues of women, the life of a woman of the royal family is different from the lives of others and so the virtues and expectations are different. It is necessary for you to know what your role is and what is expected of you to avoid making mistakes in the future and overstepping your boundaries." The Empress dowager calmly explained, "I will expect you all to have this memorized. Begin."

{...Memorize?...Great, just great -_-)'...}

 The concubines all had sullen expressions, they were hoping to get promoted this morning, but it seemed the Empress dowager was also not interested in assigning positions. They enviously looked towards the four at the front, then looked down, and began to read the book, hoping to win some recognition.

Lei Xing was also actually seriously reading the book, she would like to avoid the trouble, in the event that she was asked to regurgitate it.

 Frankly, she found it an annoying but somewhat interesting read. It outlined the importance of ranks and their perspective roles and rules to abide by, the can-dos and cannots.

She was the sort who would enjoy studying when she had to do it, but was usually too lazy to begin study sessions, so as one can imagine, procrastination was her eternal enemy while in school.

Luckily for her, her brain was able to go into overdrive when under pressure, quickly analyze key points, and soak up tons of information in a short time, so she was able to waddle through successfully.

 Lei Xing actually found some of the rules to be quite interesting.

For example, only consorts and above have the right to go visit the Emperor, and depending on your rank, you need to send a notice ahead of going and get his approval; Noble consorts, for example, could show up at his door without giving prior notice, within reason of course.

The people who have it the worst are the concubines, they are only allowed to present themselves before the Emperor, Empress, and Empress dowager when they are summoned.

The only people who can promote them are the Emperor and Empress, or the Empress dowager in the absence of an Empress. Although if they can get pregnant, then they will automatically be promoted to Madam.

{...Sounds like they will be very busy staging chance encounters outside hahahaha...the Imperial garden is a prime location for romance to bloom...Either that or it's do your best to stand out in banquets...lots of flirty glances shall be thrown around...should be fun to watch hehe...}

 After a while of reading, the maids came in with tea sets and put one each on their tables, then the Empress dowager spoke up, "Ah, you should all try the tea, I made the blend myself."

Their personal maids at their sides poured out a cup of tea for each of them. Lei Xing reached for the cup and then froze.

{...You have to be kidding me...Seriously?! It's not even been one day!!... Aren't you being too eager?!...}

 The sky-blue jewel of the ring on her middle finger had changed to a greenish-blue color.

{...ARRGHH!!! I. HATE. THIS. PLACE -_-)...}