1 Kidnapped

On the dark side of Earth's moon, a spatial rift blasted open. Shooting out were three flaring orbs that crashed onto the lunar surface; the impacts erupted in rolling chunks of rock and debris. As the rift slowly dissipated, wails filled the void.

"NOOOOOO...We failed!!"

"Argggh, my brothers all died!"

"I-I'm dying!"

"Who's there? I-I'm Yun Hao of Mystic Sect."

"My body, I'm a burnt husk!"

"My brothers are all dead...How is it I still live?" said a weeping voice.

"Who are you? Where are we?" asked Yun Hao.

"Ding-I'm Ding Gang of Shooting Star...I-I'm dying as well."

"Jiang He of Heavenly Water...Are we the only survivors? Is there no one else?"

Sunlight broke across the lunar surface, revealing three burnt lifeless corpses. Three glowing souls bobbed about anxiously. The charred remains were twisted, bent and unrecognizable.

Ding Gang chuckled sarcastically, "You call three empty husks...surviving? Not being able to regenerate...surviving? Is this my end?"

"That Celestial's palm slapped us into another dimension. I can't believe it filled the heavens," said Jiang He.

"You both must've been within my domain...I specialize in spatial laws and was performing an escape technique—his attack power must have disrupted the initiation and blasted us here...while-while destroying our bodies," said Yun Hao.

"UUARGH! WHAT DO WE DO! Our souls will dissipate if we can't regenerate," said Jiang He.

"Time is against us..What can we do?" asked Ding Gang.

"I-I left a marker for such an emergency, but without physical bodies our souls won't survive the journey. We would immediately disintegrate. Worse, I only have enough power to send the true essence of one being," said Yun Hao.

"Are the Divinities blind? Is there no hope for us?" At that moment, sun light broke the darkness and on the horizon appeared a blue planet. "Wait! That's a planet—I sense millions and millions of mortals," said Jiang He.

"Millions of mortals but no cultivators….What kind of dimension is this? Hmm...There may be a slight chance…. I know a soul technique to attach a soul to another," said Ding Gang.

Jiang He reacted immediately, "Then-then you can bind our souls to one mortal?"

"If the mortal's true essence has enough space...YES!" replied Ding Gang.

My sect specializes in healing arts, with my techniques I can regenerate true essence into an infantile state," said Jiang He

"Can such means work?" asked Ding Gang.

"What other paths are open to us?" questioned Yun Hao.

"Come there's no time!" exclaimed Jiang He. "Wait, I need to take some essence from each of us to perform the regeneration. This will have two fruitful results...one being providing a solid foundation for the host; the second being a basis to reconstruct our bodies."

"Do what must be done!" exclaimed Yun Hao.

"Go!!" urged Ding Gang.

Under the starry sky, on a silent dark beach sat Rey. The 40 year old drank deeply from a bottle of whiskey. He hissed from the bite of the hard liquor. Before him, was the sound of crashing waves...he was almost ready. He was almost drunk enough to do it. Tears streamed down his eyes, containing the summary of the past forty years of his dog shit life. On this isolated beach—so far in middle of nowhere, who would ever find him? That would be his only relief, to die silently. Rey yelled, smashing the bottle into a rock and ran into the water. Waves crashed and crashed as he swam out. He flipped onto his back, staring into the vast depths of stars as he waded out.

I'll keep going and just let myself sink.

He stared up into the vast heavens beneath a canvas of innumerable stars.

If only I could be reborn?—he would want to see all those stars one-by-one, he would do things differently—he wouldn't be a useless nobody. But he was human, and like all humans, there was only one chance.

Out loud, Rey asked himself, "Can't I have a do over?"

Yun Hao, Jiang He and Ding Gang broke through the atmosphere and shot across the ocean as three streams of light.

Jiang He spoke first, "There! I sense a fat mortal not far from here."

"A fatty? The Divinities aren't blind!" said Yun Hao.

"Hurry!" shouted Ding Gang.

Rey saw three shooting stars. "How nice, this is the last thing that I see? If I make a wish-wait why are they getting bigger? What the hell!"

Three shining lights stopped in a bright flash to hover above Rey.

Ohm! Ohm! Ohm!

They encircled him and bobbed frantically.

"Greetings mortal!"

"Indeed..Indeed you are a nice big fatty. What do you think, Sir Jiang He?" asked Yun Hao.

The baseball sized lights probed and nudged Rey.

"OMFG! Are you aliens? Is this an abduction?"

"He's exactly what we need. He's a wastrel." said Jiang He.

"How can you tell?" asked Ding Gang.

"More fat more true essence. Ha-ha-ha-ha," gleefully chortled Jiang He.

"Then that means with his true essence, there is more than enough space," said Ding Gang.

"Quick, negotiate," urged Jiang He.

"Sir Yun Hao, please," indicated Ding Gang.

"Very well," agreed Yun Hao. An orb drew close to Rey's face. "Big fatty, how are you called? I am Yun Hao of Mystic Sect. Beside me is Ding Gang of Shooting Star and Jiang He of Heavenly Water. We're wondering if you can agree to a favor. Should you agree, we shall meet any of your conditions."

"What the hell are you guys? I'm not fat, I-I'm big boned."

Ding Gang bobbed up and down, "Yes-yes-gloriously you are."

"You aliens wanna eat me?"

Chuckling, Yun Hao responded, "I'm not sure what aliens are but I assure you we don't want to eat you. It's just your-ur-ur mighty greatness happens to fulfill one of our requirements. Looking at where and how you are...Can I ask...Are you trying to kill yourself?"

"NooOO. I-I'm just here swimming. If you aren't aliens then-then are you f*cking ghosts?"

"Before we lose this mortal, perhaps we should return him to shore?" asked Ding Gang.

Jiang He said, "Come!"

An unknown power lifted Rey and the four shot back to the beach. Jiang He gently rested Rey onto the massive cushion of his rear. "Oh you're mightiness is much larger than I thought. This truly makes me happy."

Rey fell backward, seeing another half-bottle of whiskey, he immediately took a swig. "Did we just fly? Are you going to steal my soul?"

Yun Hao sighed, his light flashing to coalesce to resemble his old body. Ding Gang and Jiang He transformed as well. The three look at each other momentarily, sighing deeply.

"What do you call your planet?"

Eyes opening wide, Rey said, "Earth—then are you freaking aliens!?"

"Aliens? We are not from your dimension. We are cultivators from a place called the Nine Chaos Heavens. During a catastrophic battle, as we tried to escape, we were sent here. We no longer have physical bodies," said Yun Hao.

"What's a cultivator?"

"Ah-He's a block of wood. Maybe we should seek another?" asked Ding Gang.

"I did say he's a wastrel..do we have any time?" said Jiang He.

"We haven't died yet, but close. These are our soul forms by which we cannot return home. Without physical bodies, our souls will dissipate and we die. However, with our combined powers there's a way for us to survive the return," said Yun Hao.

Rey took a deep long drink from the bottle, shaking his head. "How can this be? He was absolutely sure it wasn't the alcohol. When really drunk, he could call out his one single ability—drunken instinct. Just like how he had the ability to never get lost and stumble home. Right now, his drunken instinct told him, Yun Hao wasn't lying. Rey frowned in confusion because he knew they wouldn't be talking to him, unless..He eyes flickered and he looked up, "You want something of me?"

"We humbly ask you to be our savior," said Yun Hao.

Rey's neck stiffened in disbelief, "Me. Uh-uh me!?"

Yun Hao coughed. "As I mentioned before, your unique greatness allows you the ability to carry our souls and return us home alive."

"Carry your souls—Isn't that possession?"

Clearing his throat, Ding Gang said, "No. My soul technique will allow us to attach our souls to yours. Still separate but sharing the same space. This will severely weaken us and force us into deep sleep. In addition, you will always maintain control."

"So you want to attach your souls to mine and you want me to carry you back to your home?"

Jiang He nodded. "Correct. And through my power, we'll extract your true essence and then rebuild you into an infantile state."

"What the freak! Extract-Rebuild!?"

Yun Hao sighed, "It is the only way. You are a mortal so you're body won't survive the journey. Thus, I can only use my power to send your true essence with our four souls."

Rey took a harder swig. "You wanna kill me?"

"No-you won't die...you will be reborn."

Rey's eyes brightened, "Reborn? Like-Like reincarnation?"

Yun Hao nodded, "This would be like reincarnation for you. But there could be great rewards as well. You see, the three of us are peak masters with fame and wealth. Should you agree, then of course we would gift you our wealth. If you wish to cultivate and seek the martial way...then the rewards would be even greater."

"He will have to cultivate. In order for our souls to recuperate and then for him to rebuild our bodies, he will need the necessary strength," said Ding Gang.

Pondering, Yun Hao said, "Cultivate? Then he will need a master."

"It is more than that. What of the enemy? What of our justice?"

"He cannot die before our vengeance."

"The requirements are heavier—he will need to cultivate and have the ability to survive like us—he must have our powers."

"This?"

"It's forbidden to pass sect secrets..."

"Unless we—we become brothers in vengeance and we accept him as our personal disciple."

"Three masters..Isn't it forbidden? Typically a former master has passed on."

"No it's just frowned upon. However, he can never be a sect disciple.

Rey coughed, waving the bottle, "Yo, I'm right here and I can hear you."

Yun Hao, "Oh yes-Fatty."

"My name is Rey."

"Rey...Fatty Rey a mighty true name that fits your greatness. What's its meaning? We will require you to become a cultivator for several reasons. Foremost, in order to survive, you need to become strong. Secondly, you'll need power to separate our souls and regenerate our bodies. Therefore, we will accept you as our personal disciple and guide you on the path of cultivation. As such, in addition to receiving all our wealth, you will inherit our martial legacies," explained Yun Hao.

"My name means King. If I accept, I will be reborn and then inherit a lot of money and gain a lot of power? Doesn't that mean, I'll have respect and be a person of means?"

"Rey..King? Ha-ha-ha! Fatty King!"

"King of Fatties!"

"Consider Empyrean Fatty..If I had a stomach it would burst."

Laughter erupted all around.

"F*cking cultivators," muttered Rey.

"Ha-ha-ha ur-great-great savior King. Being our direct disciple and under our protection, no one would dare to look down on you. In addition, now you are a mortal. If you cultivate, then you gain long life. In fact, I'm just under 40,000 years old."

Excited, Rey grunted as he stood up. "So all I need to do is carry you guys over, then cultivate...rebuild your bodies...and receive all these benefits...including long life."

Yun Hao, Ding Gang and Jiang He simultaneously said, "Correct"

"Heck Yeah!" Exclaimed Rey, throwing the bottle away. Realizing his mistake, he quickly scrambled after the bottle. Fumbling and almost tripping, he finally regained his treasure. In one long drink, he finished it. "So-So how does this work?"

"Hold—we need to confirm something first." Yun Hao turned about to face the others. "I Yun Hao, 5th Grand Elder of Mystic Sect declare you to be my brothers—to walk the same path of vengeance—to use all my power to destroy our enemy."

"I Jiang He, 8th Master of Heavenly Water Sect declare the same and to be your brother."

"I Ding Gang Protector of Shattering Star Sect declare my brotherhood on this path of vengeance. I swear to destroy all our enemies and walk life and death."

"Brother!"

"Brother!"

"Brother!"

Cultivators must mean they're members of a cult? Should I reconsider?

Coughing several times Rey asked, "What happens now?"

Ding Gang said, "I will attach our souls. Brother Jiang will extract your essence. Then Brother Yun will transport us. After which, Brother Jiang will regrow you into an infant."

Rey stepped further back and nervously looked at the empty bottle. "Regrow me?"

"All beings have true essence. I will extract your true essence and compress all our souls into something like a blood bead," answered Jiang He.

Rey paled, "Blood bead..as in a single blob of blood. Isn't that going to hurt?"

Yun Hao released a shallow laugh, "Hurt—child you greatly under estimate what it feels to have every single fiber of true essence extracted—By the Divinities—the screaming into oblivion as four souls are compressed together into a single bead—traversing between dimensions as a mortal—regenerating your bones, organs and blood to that of newborn babe—utterly beyond a millennium of tears.

Rey gulped deep breaths his chest wheezing uncontrollably. Finally he gasped a wailing, "NOOOOOOO!"

Yun Hao stepped back, "Did I reveal too much?"

"He's running!"

"There's no choice..Proceed!"

Yun Hao nodded. "Glorious mortal called Fatty Rey—Do you accept me as your master?"

"Do you accept I Ding Gang as your master?"

"Do you accept I Jiang He as your master?"

Yelling, "No-No-No-No!" Rey turned to run but fell flat onto his stomach.

"He kowtowed! Master accepts you."

"Ha, I have another disciple!"

"Master welcomes you! Master will beat bravery into you."

"Brothers, let us return home."

Rey screamed in horror as the three soul forms coalesced into glowing orbs and flashed into his chest.

"Indeed, there is a lot of space here."

"He could be the greatest of all wastrels"

"Relax child, your Master has yet to begin."

"You need to remember some things. Each of us will pass basic techniques. When you reach the bone age of five, your memories and our techniques will awaken. We know not where in Chaos Heavens you will appear but remember never share our secrets...never reveal who you are. As you cultivate and gain power, we will slowly awaken. Therefore, the faster you cultivate than the quicker you receive the benefits. Never seek shelter in Heavenly Water, Shooting Star or Mystic sects."

"Then where can he go?"

"Thunder Sect, I have kin there. A niece named Yun Ting"

"Become a disciple of Thunder Sect and seek her out. No place else, only Thunder sect."

"Brothers-Let us Return!"

Rey screamed.

"I've never heard a shrill scream come out of a man before."

"A wastrel and a coward, it can't be any worse."

"I will beat bravery into his bones and tendons."

"His eyes are popping out, start the extraction or else he may die."

"He's retching and releasing his bowls."

"Even his soul is screaming—even that is possible?"

"If he asks about his last visage we cannot say he shriveled into a bead while screaming, vomiting and jettisoning his bowls."

"Yes, we must get our story straight. Even though it was torture, he quickly dissolved into a bead in a strong manly way."

"A glorious and strong manly way."

"Are us masters already lying to our disciple?"

"He's also our savior, we should allow him some honor."

"Fatty King!!!"

"Stop laughing he'll hear you."

"Empyrean Fatty!"

"Extract!!!"

Rey screamed endlessly as his body shriveled up, his bodily fluids exiting from all seven orifices.

"Compress!"

The liquids exploded into a mist and then coalesced into a glowing red bead. Screaming shrieks reverberated throughout the area.

"It's done!" declared Jiang He."

"My brothers, my child lets GOOOOO!!" roared Yun Hao.

With a sucking whoosh, a thick light barrier surrounded the bead, then with the shattering sound of continuous booms, it shot up into the sky.

The blood bead pierced the atmosphere like a blazing red comet. In seconds, it traversed to the far side of the moon.

"I sense the last visages of the rift. Humph! Nothing can stop this Yun from returning HOME!" he roared.

"GOOOOOO!" prompted Ding Gang.

"DOOOITTT!" yelled Jiang He.

Vast power erupted from the blood bead comet and it flared until THOOOM! It shattered a hole into the rift.