3 Stranded Train

I'd never actually been on a train before. It was taller than I imagined, with second-"story" windows that I guessed were the sleeping cars. Inside, it was dimly lit, and most of the people stuffed in there looked catatonic. I expected the train to steam and chug and shoot off like a rocket, because I watched a lot of cartoons in my misspent youth and that's how cartoon trains work. This train glided off indifferently, as if it had gotten bored with standing around.

Naturally, I called Nate the moment we set off. This was a slight violation of the I'm-going-to-be-slammed-until-six-so-I'll-just-see-you-at-the-party no-call policy, but never have circumstances been more understandable. When he answered, there was a cheerful clamor in the background. I could hear carols and the clanking of dishes, which was a depressing contrast to the claustrophobic muffle of the train.

"Annie!" he said. "Kind of a bad time. See you in an hour?"

He made a little grunt. It sounded like he was lifting something heavy, probably one of the freakishly large hams his mother always managed to get her hands on for the Smorgasbord. I presume she gets them from some kind of experimental farm where the pigs are treated with lasers and superdrugs until they are thirty feet long.

"Um . . . that's the thing," I said. "I'm not coming."

"What do you mean, you're not coming? What's wrong?"

I explained the parents-in-jail/me-on-train-in-storm/life-not-really-going-as-planned situation as best I could. I tried to keep it light, like I found it funny, mostly to keep myself from sobbing on a dark train of stupefied strangers.

Another grunt. It sounded like he was shifting something around.

"It'll be fine," he said after a moment. "Sam's taking care of it, right?"

"Well, if you mean not getting them out of jail, then yes. He doesn't even seem worried."

"It's probably just some little county jail," he replied. "It won't be bad. And if Sam's not worried, it'll be okay. I'm sorry this happened, but I'll see you in a day or two."

"Yes, but it's Christmas," I said. My voice got thick, and I choked back a tear. He gave me a moment.

"I know this is hard, Annie," he said after a pause, "but it will be fine. It will. This is just one of those things."

I knew he was trying to calm me down and generally console me, but still. One of those things? This was not one of those things. One of those things is your car breaking down or getting stomach flu or your faulty holiday lights sending out a spark and burning down your hedge. I said as much, and he sighed, realizing I was right. Then he grunted again.

"What's the matter?" I asked, through a sniff.

"I'm holding a huge ham," he said. "I'm going to have to go in a minute. Look, we'll do another Christmas when you get back. I promise. We'll find some time. Don't worry. Call me when you get there, okay?"

I promised I would, and he hung up and went off with his ham. I stared at the now-silent phone.

Sometimes, because I dated Nate, I empathized with people who are married to politicians. You can tell they have their own lives, but because they love the person they are with, they end up pulled into the juggernaut—and pretty soon, they're waving and smiling blankly for the camera, with balloons falling on their heads and staff members knocking them out of the way to get to the All-Important Significant Other, who is Perfect.

I know no one is perfect, that behind every façade of perfection is a writhing mess of subterfuge and secret sorrows . . . but even taking that into account, Nate was pretty much perfect. I'd never heard anyone say a bad word about him. His status was as unquestioned as gravity. By making me his girlfriend, he demonstrated his belief in me, and I had picked up on his conviction. I stood straighter. I felt more confident, more consistently positive, more important. He liked being seen with me; therefore, I liked being seen with me, if that makes any sense.

So, yes, his overcommittedness was a pain sometimes. But I understood. When you have to take a big ham to your mom, for instance, because sixty people are about to descend on your house for a Smorgasbord. It just has to be done. The rough must be taken with the smooth. I took out my iPod and used the remaining power to flick through some photos of him. Then the power died.

I felt so alone on that train . . . a weird, unnatural kind of alone that bore into me. It was feeling just beyond fear and somewhere to the left of sadness. Tired, but not the kind of tired that sleep fixes. It was dark and gloomy, and yet, it didn't seem that things would get any better if the lights were turned up. If anything, I would be able to get a much better look at my unpleasant situation.

I thought about calling my grandparents. They already knew I was coming. Sam told me he had called them. They would have been happy to talk to me, but I wasn't feeling up to it. My grandparents are great people, but they are easily rattled. Like, if the grocery store sells out of some frozen pizza or soup they advertise in the circular, and they've gone to the store just for that, they'll stand there debating their next move for a half an hour. If I called them, every aspect of my visit would have to be discussed to the smallest detail. What blanket would I need? Did I still eat crackers? Should Grandpa get more shampoo? It was always sweet, but a little too much for my mind at the moment.

I like to think I am a problem solver. I would distract myself out of this funk. I dug into my bag to see what I had managed to collect as I was rushed out of the house. I discovered that I was woefully unprepared for the trip ahead of me. I had grabbed the bare essentials—some underwear, jeans, two sweaters, a few shirts, my glasses. My iPod was out of power. I had just one book with me. It was Northanger Abbey, part of my winter break reading list for English. It was good, but not exactly what you want when you're feeling the creeping hand of doom.

So, for about two hours, I just looked out the window as the sun set, the candy-color pink sky turned to silver, and the first snow began to fall. I knew it was beautiful, but knowing something is beautiful and caring about it are two very different things, and I didn't care. The snow got harder and faster, until it filled the view and there was nothing left but white. It came from all directions at once, even blowing up from underneath. Watching it made me dizzy and a little ill.

People were coming down the aisle with boxes of food—chips and sodas and prewrapped sandwiches. Clearly, there was a food source somewhere on this train. Sam had shoved fifty bucks in my hand back at the station, all fifty of which would be extracted from my parents once they were breathing free air again. There was nothing else to do, so I got up and made my way down to the snack car, where I was promptly informed that they were out of everything except some floppy microwaved pizza discs, two muffins, a few candy bars, a bag of nuts, and some sad-looking fruit. I wanted to compliment them on being so well prepared for the holiday rush, but the guy working the counter looked really beaten. He didn't need my sarcasm. I bought a pizza disc, two candy bars, the muffins, the nuts, and a hot chocolate. It seemed smart to stock up a bit for the rest of the trip if things were going that fast. I stuffed a five-dollar bill into his cup, and he nodded his thanks.

I took one of the empty seats at the tables braced to the wall. The train was shaking a lot now, even as we slowed. The wind was smacking us from either side. I left the pizza untouched and burned my lips on the chocolate. It was the most action they were going to get, after all.

"Mind if I sit here?" a voice asked.

I looked up to find an exceptionally beautiful guy standing over me. Again, I noticed, and again, I didn't really care. But he did make more of an impact than the snow. His hair was as dark as mine, meaning it was black. It was longer than mine, though. Mine only goes just past my chin. His was pulled back in a ponytail. He looked Native American, with high cheekbones. The thin denim jacket he was wearing wasn't nearly enough protection against the weather. There was something in his eyes, though, that really struck a chord—he looked troubled, like he was having a hard time keeping them open. He had just gotten himself a cup of coffee, which he was clutching kind of intently.

"Sure," I said.

He kept his head down when he sat, but I noticed him glancing at all the food I had in the box. Something told me that he was a lot hungrier than me.

"Have some," I said. "I was just getting stuff before they sold out. I'm not even that hungry. I haven't touched this pizza at all."

There was a moment of resistance, but I pushed it forward.

"I realize it looks like a pizza coaster," I added. "It was all they had. Really. Take it."

He smiled a little. "I'm Paul," he said.

"I'm Annie," I answered. I wasn't in the mood to go through the "Annie? Your name is Annie? Tell me, what do you use for your routine—baby oil or some kind of nut oil? And does someone wipe down the pole after each use?" conversation. Everything I explained to you in the beginning. Most people call me Annie. Nate called me Nie.

"Where are you headed?" he asked.

I had no cover story for my parents or why I was here. The full truth was a little too much to throw at a stranger.

"Going to see my grandparents," I said. "Kind of last-minute change of plan."

"Where do they live?" he asked, looking at the swirling snow that was beating at the window of the train. It was impossible to tell where the sky ended and the ground began. The snow cloud had crash-landed on top of us.

"Olivetown," I said.

"Long way. I'm just going to Coast Inka, next stop."

I nodded. I'd heard of Coast Inka but had no idea where it was. Somewhere on this long, snowy path between me and nowhere. I offered the box of food to him again, but he shook his head.

"That's okay," he said. "But thanks for the pizza. I was kind of starving. We picked a bad day to travel. Guess there's not a lot of choice, though. Sometimes you just have to do stuff you aren't sure about. . . . "

"Who are you going to see?" I asked.

He turned his gaze back down and folded up the plate the pizza disc had come on.

"I'm going to see my girlfriend. Well, kind of girlfriend. I've been trying to call her, but I can't get a signal."

"I have one," I said, pulling out my phone. "Use mine. I'm not even close to using my minutes this month."

Paul took the phone with a wide smile. As he got up, I noticed just how tall and broad-shouldered he was. If I wasn't so completely devoted to Nate, I would have been deeply smitten. He crossed the few feet, just to a spot by the other side. I watched him try the number, but he clicked the phone shut without ever speaking.

"I couldn't get her," he said, sitting back down and returning my phone.

"So," I said, smiling. "This is, kind of your girlfriend? You still aren't sure if you're dating yet?"

I remembered those times well, when Nate and I first got together, and I wasn't sure if I was his girlfriend. I was so deliciously nervous all the time.

"She cheated on me," he said plainly.

Oh, I'd misread that. Badly. I felt the pang for him, right in the middle of my chest. I really did.

"It's not her fault," he said after a moment. "Not all of it. I . . . "

I never got to hear what had happened, because the door of the car flew open, and there was a screech, kind of like the sound that Beaker—the horrible, oily cockatoo we had as a fourth-grade pet—used to make. Beaker was the bird Jeremy Rich taught to scream the word ass. Beaker loved to screech and scream the word ass, and he did it really well. You could hear him all the way down the hall in the girls' room. Beaker eventually got moved to the teachers' lounge, where I guess you're allowed to spread your greasy feathers and scream "ass" all you like.

It wasn't ass-screaming Beaker, though. It was fourteen girls in matching, form-fitting sweats, all of which read RIDGE CHEERLEADING on the butt. (A form of ass-screaming, I suppose.) Each had her name on the back of her sleek warm-up fleece. They clustered around the snack bar, yelling at the top of their lungs. I really hoped and prayed that they wouldn't all say "Oh my God!" at once, but my prayers were not heard, maybe because God was busy listening to all of them.

"There is no lean protein," I heard one of them say.

"I told you, Madison. You should have had that lettuce wrap when you had the chance."

"I thought they'd at least have chicken breast!"

To my enduring dismay, I noticed that both girls having this conversation were named Madison. Worse: three of the others were named Amber. I felt like I was trapped in a social experiment gone wrong—maybe something involving replicants.

A few of the group turned on us. I mean, to us. They turned to me and Paul. Well, actually they just turned to Paul.

"Oh my God!" said one of the Ambers. "Is this not the worst trip ever? Did you see the snow?"

She was a sharp one, this Amber. What would she notice next? The train? The moon? The hilarious vagaries of human existence? Her own head?

I didn't say any of that, because death by cheerleader is not really the way I want to go. Amber wasn't addressing this to me, anyway. Amber had no idea I was even there. Her eyes were on Jeb. You could almost see the robotic core in her corneas making all the focusing adjustments and lining him in the crosshairs.

"It's pretty bad," he said politely.

"We're going down to Coast Inka?"

She said it like that, like a question.

"Should be nicer there," he said.

"Yeah. If we make it. We're all at cheerleading regionals? Which is rough, because it's the holidays? But we all had Christmas early? We did ours yesterday?"

This is when I noticed that they all seemed to be carrying really new-looking stuff. Shiny phones, conspicuous bracelets and necklaces that they played with, fresh manicures, iPods I'd never even seen before.

Amber One sat down with us—a careful sit, with her knees angled together and her heels turned out. A perky sitting pose of someone used to being the most adorable in the general vicinity.

"This is Annie," Paul said, kindly introducing me to our new friend. Amber told me her name was Amber, and then rattled off all the Ambers and Madisons. There were other names, but to me, they were all Ambers and Madisons. Seemed safe to think of it that way. I had at least a chance of being right.

Amber began chatting away, telling us all about the competition. She did this amazing thing where she included me in the conversation and ignored me at the same time. Plus, she was sending me a mental message—deeply subliminal—that she wanted me to get up and give my seat over to her tribe. They filled every available bit of space in the car as it was. Half of them on the phone, the other half depleting the water, coffee, and Diet Coke supply.

I decided that this was not what I needed to make my life complete.

"I'm going to go back to my seat," I said.

Just as I stood, though, the train slowed dramatically, throwing us all forward in one big splash of hot and cold liquids. The wheels cried out in protest as they dragged down the track for about a minute, and then we stopped, hard. I heard luggage all up and down the train thundering down from racks, and then people falling where they stood. People like me. I landed on a Madison and slammed my chin and cheek on something. I'm not sure what it was, because the lights went out at the same moment, causing a massive yelp of dismay. I felt hands helping me up, and I didn't need to be able to see to know it was Jeb.

"You all right?" he asked.

"Fine. I think."

There was a flicker, and then the lights came back up one by one. Several Ambers were clinging to the snack bar for dear life. There was food all over the floor. Paul reached down and picked up what was once his phone, now a neatly snapped two-piece affair. He cradled it in his hand like an injured baby bird.

The loudspeaker crackled, and the voice that spoke over it sounded genuinely rattled—not the cool, bossy tone they were using to announce stops along the way.

"Ladies and gentlemen," it said, "please remain calm. A conductor will be checking your cabin to see if anyone has been injured."

I pressed my face against the cold window to see what was going on. We had come to rest next to what looked like a wide road with lots of lanes, something like an interstate. Across the way was a glowing yellow sign, suspended high over the road. It was hard to see through the snow, but I recognized the color and shape. It was for a Waffle House. Just outside of the train, a crew member was stumbling along through the snow, looking under the carriage with a flashlight.

A female conductor threw open the door to our car and started surveying everyone. She was missing her hat.

"What's happening?" I asked when she reached us. "We look really stuck."

She leaned down and had a good look out the window, then gave a low whistle.

"We're not going anywhere, honey," she said in a low voice. "We're just outside of Coast Inka. The track dips down below this point, and it's completely covered. Maybe they can send some emergency vehicles to get us by morning. I don't know, though. I wouldn't bet on it. Anyway, you hurt?"

"I'm okay," I assured her.

Amber One was holding her wrist.

"Amber!" another Amber said. "What happened?"

"I twisted it," Amber One moaned. "Bad."

"That's your support wrist on basket toss!"

Six cheerleaders indicated (not subliminally) that they wanted me to move out of the way so that they could get to their wounded member and sit her down. Jeb was trapped in the throng. The lights went dim, the heater audibly cranked down, and the loudspeaker came back on.

"Ladies and gentlemen," the voice said, "we're going to cut a bit of power to conserve energy. If you have blankets or sweaters, you may want to use them now. If any of you require extra warmth, we'll try to provide whatever we can. If you have extra layering, we ask that you share it."

I looked at the yellow sign again, and then back at the cluster of cheerleaders. I had two choices—I could stay here in the cold, dark, stranded train or I could actually do something. I could take charge of this day that had run away from me too many times. It wouldn't be hard to get across the road and over to the Waffle House. They probably had heat and lots of food. It was worth a shot, and it was a plan I felt Nate would have approved of. Proactive. I gently pushed my way through the Ambers to get to Paul.

"There's a Waffle House across the street," I told him. "I'm going to go over and see if it's open."

"A Waffle House?" Paul replied. "We must be just outside of town, along I-40."

"Don't be crazy," Amber One said. "What if the train leaves?"

"It's not," I said. "The conductor just told me. We're stuck here all night. Over there, they probably have heat and food and a place for people to move around. What else are we going to do?"

"We could practice our enthusiasm rounds," one of the Madisons ventured in a tiny voice.

"You're going by yourself?" Paul asked. I could tell he wanted to come, but Amber was leaning on him now like her life depended on him.

"I'll be fine," I said. "It's just across the street. Give me your phone number and . . . "

He held up the broken phone as a grim reminder. I nodded and picked up my backpack.

"I won't be long," I said. "I have to come back, right? Where else am I going to go?"