12 Chapter 12

Sebastian..pov

Sunlight filtered into the room through the open patio doors.

It was late morning, and I still hadn't gotten out of bed yet.

This has gradually become my daily routine.

Kraw almost always took control at night, when we go on a prowl, guarding the borders and killing anything that moves.

I sighed as I turned to face the wall gritting my teeth at the sight in front of me.

Paw indentations, deep claw marks and several cracks marred the once well painted ice blue wall.

At first everyone had thought it sweet, and responsible of Kraw and I to patrol the borders.

But after the death of over five guards, and twenty unknown wolves who had been visiting, everyone soon began to realize that this was something else.

That was when I knew the problem was me and it was a deep rooted one.

Before then the elders council had been fidgeting about my lack of a mate, but I had just ignored them, of course their solution was a chosen mate but I couldn't do that because I knew my mate was out there.

Mom had done the interior decor of the house,but all that effort was now in vain, because I have almost destroyed it

"Lazy lazy a*s, get up Seb I'm going crazy with the lack of activity, my joints and bones are beginning to feel like they are from the ice age."

"Shut it Kraw." I warned exasperatedly.

You are the reason, we live in a hell hole. "It's not a hell hole." He countered thunderously.

But I just shook my head at him and turned away again.

I live in the moon alpha's palace, but almost all alone here, intensifying my loneliness.

Such is the terror that Kraw has brought upon my pack and it's people that no one can truly live with us.

Alex, my moon beta and assistant was the last person to move out of the house. Although he sometimes pops in and spends a night or two with me, staying as far out of the way as he possibly can.

He is the only one Kraw most probably won't kill, not that he hasn't beaten Alex to with an inch of his life before.

My wolf has gradually become uncontrollable and erratic.

Our powers have become way too potent and without our mate to share it with, it's gradually taking over.

My lack of a mate has made me desperate for her, but the desperation hasn't helped me find her.

It's been three years since I became the moon Alpha and I haven't found her yet, sometimes I wonder if I ever will or maybe the moon goddess is having a laugh at my expense.

Kraw isn't the only one that had become terrifyingly erratic.

I have become that way too, short tempered, mean, impatient and extremely violent.

Everyone except my beta, gives me a wide berth, including my family.

I'd clawed my dad once for almost nothing.

"Graaaaaahhhhrrr"

I growled loudly into the empty room, as I remembered that the claws had been for my sweet little sister Isabelle, who had unknowingly been taunting her big brother.

But thank the goddess that father had been worried and watching me closely as I went overboard and over reacted to everything and everyone.

Isabella had cried uncontrollably, when she realized what I had almost done to her.

But I didn't realize it until the next day when they had moved back into our old home.

That was how deep my animalistic instinct had sunk into my subconscious.

It was so deep, that I hadn't realized what we had done or what had happened until almost two days later.

That was a year ago, now pack members do not leave their homes after midnight because that's when Kraw prowls and patrols the borders.

Rogues can't pass anywhere the next five packs or I will pounce on them.

My senses are way too heightened, and I can scent a rogue from almost as far as the regions borders.

My family forgave me and still talk to me but only from a safe distance.

Pack members don't even walk the same path or trail that I frequent.

Meetings with me are filled fear and apprehension. I am a freaking monster."

"No, we are not, we just need our mate." Kraw hissed at me.

I ignored him.

I am the first Moon alpha in the history of wolves, to go through their first three years without a mate and Luna. It's always been too dangerous for moon alpha's to be without their mate.

That's why most chosen's are mated before the choosing ceremony.

And moon alpha's find their mates at most six months after they are crowned.

I was mated before, but she died the day I found out we were mates.

We were childhood sweethearts and best friends since we were six. We had even started dating six months before I turned eighteen.

She was eight months older and when she didn't feel the pull to me after she turned eighteen, she asked me to be her boyfriend.

But then tragedy struck, it was a night I would never ever forget.

That's why I thought I could never be moon alpha, loosing my mate made me too weak, compared to the other chosen boys.

But then the moon goddess made her choice, me.

"Finally," Kraw drawled out sarcastically, as I got out of bed and dragged my foot across the oversized bedroom to the bathroom for a cold shower.

My foot print leaving muddy, bloody dirt prints on the tiled floor.

The last time I had sex was almost two years ago.

After Kraw had torn through the body of the poor soul like a bulldog high on steroids.

I didn't let myself look at another woman, we avoid them like the plague.

It wasn't the first time a woman had been mauled and killed by us, and it won't be the last.

But until we found our mate there will be no s*x for us.

"I'm hungry, hurry up let's go get breakfast." Kraw urged me.

There will be no breakfast for you today Kraw, remember what I told you after you made a meal out of that elder councilman, in front of the council?"

Seb, but that was yesterday, today is another day." He whined.

"Keep telling yourself that." I said

" And you had another meal overnight on patrol, so don't speak to me about food." I warned him.

Kraw had shown no mercy as the councilman ripped us a new one about our mating situation and the proper way to rule.

Kraw, didn't think, he'd just reacted.

I can feel his anger rising now, because I'd recalled the events that led to the councilman's untimely death.

"He deserved it" my wolf stated.

I sighed and rubbed my hand over my face.

"Kraw let's discuss a truce for today."

"No, Seb not that again, truce seems to be your new favorite word ." He huffed at me, before continuing.

"I miss mum,dad and Isabella."he whined.

"Well, me too, but since we are a threat to them, they have to stay away."

He said nothing

"kraw is a lost case and I fear that one day he might go and spend the night at my parents house, just to show how much he misses them."

"I am not a lost case, I just can't help it. We have no control over our powers when our emotions are all over the place." He pointed out

"I agree that we need help, but finding our mate is the only solution to that." I thought as I put on a dark green tee with the words scarecrow scribbled across the front and a pair of very dark blue Jeans.

After drying my hair as best as I could, I mindlinked, Alex on my way down the stairs.

"Hey, Alex you're awake?"

"Yup, been up for almost an hour ." He said

"What time is the meeting again?."

He sighed and chuckled.

"Did they move it again?" I asked.

" You bet my a*s they did." He confirmed.

"I might have to go get them myself." He said exasperatedly this time.

"Good luck with that." I told him.