11 BADASS AND UGLY

I freeze as I hear his voice and get up silently to look at him.

He looks absolutely unaffected, of course. I don’t know what to even do to him anymore. I want to hurt him, badly. Just the way he has hurt me. Over and over again.

I want to snatch something he holds priceless, just like he did, and make him watch it getting destroyed.

But I know I am not that person. I’m not that low. So I do the only thing Zach Hayden would be affected by.

I feel my thoughts getting numb as I walk up to him in a daze and slap him hard on his face.

Standing in the middle of the university compound, surrounded by people.

Public humiliation.

This is what he is so proud of, right? This – this hollow name, this kiddish ego. So everyone has to see what a disgusting human being he is. And everyone has to see that he’s not unfuckablewith.

He reels from the sudden blow to his face to look up at me. His eyes widen in bewilderment and anger, as his expression gives me unreal satisfaction. I snatch his hand and thrust the broken parts of my locket onto his palm.

“Maybe you can buy the least shreds of humanity against this.”

I walk away without another glance or word as the whole student population stands an equally shocked witness.

I’ll never forgive you for this. This was ugly, even for you. I hate you, Zach.

*

One, two, three, four… I am sitting with my eyes closed, my head in my hands as I silently start counting with deep breaths to ease myself of the last hour.

“There you go, that’ll be your favourite coffee with sugar and cream, with the chocolate muffin you wanted. You sure I can’t get you something else?” I shake my head at Lily standing by the table and bring the food closer to myself.

“Uh okay, then I’ll just grab my order and be back, okay?” Lily disappears once again as I look up to see my surroundings.

Is she stupid? Why didn’t she order both of ours together? Maybe she wanted to leave me to myself for a few minutes. Which is more sensible and welcome. What are you doing Alanna? Lily’s no one to be blamed.

All around the cafeteria, students are staring at me as I belong to Mars, and I didn’t know if it was the earlier locker show, the locket episode, or simply the slap, that induced this. I guess a bit of all.

Speaking of, my palm is still a bit sore where it had connected with the clean, unmarked face of his. I silently wonder if it hurt him too much. Even if it did, he deserved it.

“Uh hey, do you mind if I -” I look up to find a vaguely familiar face standing hesitantly, waiting to take the seat beside me. Nathaniel.

The first thought that comes to my mind is that he knows Zach. He is his friend and I don’t know what possible game they are going to play up next. To think I actually had taken Nathaniel for a nice guy, but how did I forget the company?

“Yes, I do actually. I do mind. I don’t want to have anything to do with anyone who’s possibly connected with -”

“With Zach. I know, just, hear me out. Please?” He takes my silence as an affirmative as he gently settles down beside me, with his coffee cup in his hand.

I look up to him with a stern face and wonder how those blue eyes managed to remain so earnest, still. He is with him. He must have been a part of it all and I’m sitting here, sipping coffee with him. It makes me feel sick.

“Enjoyed it, didn’t you? Stealing a personal item from someone and destroying it savagely in front of their very own eyes. Quite a show, right? Regular Monday morning dose, I’m sure!”

I look straight at him with a steady gaze, all my bottled anger leaving me in spurts. He continues to look at me with a serious unchanging face, not giving anything away. No surprise, confusion or guilt.

“What do you think we are, sadists?”

“I clearly don’t find a reason to say you’re not.” He looks down and brings his hands up on the table to rest them flat.

“Alright listen, I had no idea Zach would do something like this. Really.” Of course. The denial. I chuckle humourlessly.

How sick are they, really? He is the best friend and he wants me to believe he had no idea about it?

“I didn’t know at all. If I did, I’d have definitely not let him do it. Not on my watch.” I look up and his gaze catches me off guard. He is dead serious and his sincere unflinching gaze makes me rethink for a minute.

“You – didn’t know?”

“Did you see me anywhere around him then?” It was true I had not spotted Nathaniel anywhere during the whole fiasco but I don’t think I was in a state to look around and recognise people then.

“I’ve known Zach well, he gets temperamental, agreed, but I never knew he would do something so awfully… hurtful.”

“Yeah well, welcome to the club.” Zach could pretty well do any and everything that qualified as hurtful.

“From what I saw, the locket seemed to hold quite a huge sentimental value.”

“Yeah well, none of it matters now, does it?” An awkward silence ensues.

“Listen, I know nothing I say, or do, will make this right. But uh – I was – I came across this stone, I think your locket had it?”

I look at his hand with my stone shining quietly in the white of his palm.

“I gave everything over to him.” He retracts his hand with a confused expression.

“You what? Why? Don’t you want to keep what’s left?”

“Broken parts of something that mattered to us once, break us more, reminding us everyday, of what we had, and don’t anymore. I don’t want to wake up everyday and look at those shattered pieces. I might as well do without them altogether.”

I sense Nathaniel going silent for a minute before he speaks again.

“I really am sorry.” I guess you could have stopped your friend then and drill some sense into him.

“And why would I believe you?”

“Because, Adalanna Callister, that chocolate muffin is on me, as a toast to that spunky, badass slap that you landed on the face of some brazen idiot who deserved it.”

My face lightens up as a smile threatens to form at my lips. I let out a laugh as he laughs lightly with me and I almost believe him. At least he didn’t come here to brag about his jerk of a friend and defend his actions.

“That’s a beautiful laugh, Adalanna, I’m glad I could cause it.” I blush at the compliment, silently smiling as his words register in my mind as a weird bubbling erupts within my stomach.

“Alanna.”

“Nah, I think I like Adalanna better.” My coffee cup halts mid air as I look up to him with a surprised expression.

“Wha -” He sips his coffee with a slow lopsided smile and leans in towards me to whisper.

“I meant the name.” I look away immediately fighting the heat in my face as his smile adds to my inconvenience.

“Finally; these orders take forever.

Um, did I miss something?”

Lily looks between both of us and I shake my head lightly.

“Not much, I guess. You look good, Preston.”

“Since birth, Alderidge .” I shake my head with amusement as Nathaniel chuckles lightly.

“Nice meeting you, but I’m afraid I’m gonna have to take leave. So I guess, until next time? See you around, ladies.”

He flashes a full toothy smile at us, keeping a couple of bucks on the table.

“And that’s my treat, as promised.”

He winks and then leaves as quickly as he had appeared, while I watch his back.

Author's note:

Who’s hating Zach for the moment, if at all? I am, for one.

And who’s calling dibs on Nathaniel, if at all? (Again) I am, for one. (Again)

Hate chemistry? Or friendship chemistry?

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