Li_Yi_Wei
This book has a lot of potential. There are many grammar mistake, but when taken into account that the author stated in the beginning that their English isn’t that good it makes sense. An advice I would give would be changing the dialogue structure. For example, having two dialogues in a paragraph, if the same character is talking then it’s completely fine, but if it’s an interaction between two characters the. I would recommend you separate the two dialogues into their own paragraph or else it can be a bit confusing to the readers. Other than that, keep up the good work and I can’t wait to read more.