1 I am back

Here I am , crawling bak to you , wishing I never stopped . Here I am regretting even though I rarely do , but leaving you got me feeling a deep remorse . Now my words aren't as beautiful as they used to be , It's hard for me to put thoughts in words in the very first place . It's crazy how we lose the ability to do things we were so good at , and It's crazier to stop doing the things that make us the happiest . I left for no reason at all , I'd be lying if I said that I didn't have enough time to read or write because I never actually had enough time ,I created time . On the way to school , In the middle of the night when I wake up feeling bad , in the classroom when my teacher isn't paying attention , in a coffee shop , anywhere and everywhere . I used to love you , I still do .

Last time I was here , I was a whole other person , I was young , happy and full of hope , Ididn't know that life could be this sorrowful , I wasn't ready for this . Everything was much more simple past then , school , love and friendships , I was a happy kid and I didn't realise it .

Look at me now , questioning the meaning of love , the meaning of life . My circle is much smaller than it was , and no matter how selective I think I am , I end up picking the wrong people. I've been breaking hearts ,my heart is the one to blame and it's terrifying , how can I trust it and fall in love again? I'd rather be alone than break one more heart , it would be the end of me .

I'm building a career . I'm no longer the highschool kid with the big dreams and fantasies that I didn't actually achieve , but here I am now I got bigger ones . I know where I'm heading and my goals are set ,but this time , I'm already on the way , and there's no coming back .

I'm so sorry , to you and to everyone I left , I'm trying to put myself together , I'm trying to know who I really am and I'm starting here , with you .

I'm back and I hope you accept my apology .

I'm here , I'm alive .