1 UNDER THE RAIN

The rain has gone on for the whole day, and the people around are either running for cover, or holding on to their colorful umbrellas while the gentle spring rain was drizzling on them. The raindrops pitter-pattered as the young girls' cheerful laugh melted in the sounds of vehicles, running on neon-lit, bustling road.

However, just a couple of meters away, a silent sob could be heard in the depths of a dark alleyway that was near the construction site, at the edge of the red light district. Under the flickering light of a lamp post was a man lying on his younger brother's arms.

On the concrete ground, a trail of thick, scarlet pool is being washed away by the rainfall, making it seem like a river of blood, coming out from the raven-haired man in a suit.

"Brother, no…" The blonde boy wearing a white middle school uniform spoke with a weak, trembling voice as his azure eyes shook and tears started racing down his cheeks again.

"Don't… cry… Gi...li…" The young man uttered with difficulty as he suppressed the severe pain coming from his left side.

"W-wait for me… I… I will call for help." Gili then tried to leave his brother, but the latter held his arm tightly, stopping him from doing so.

"Don't… It's… too late…"

As the older brother stated those words, Gili's body stiffened before he broke out a gut-wrenching sob. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

He could only apologize to his brother, as the feelings of despair and extreme sorrow drowned his broken heart as he understood that he can't do anything to save his older brother. Not before, and not right now, either.

"I'm sorry I'm so useless!" He wept. "I… I only ever brought you pain… I was even the reason why you—"

"Sshhh…" with his frail hands, Haru wiped away the tears on Gili's cheek. "Do… not blame… your…self… It's… not… your fault."

"Uwa…huhuhu… Bro…brother…" Gili pleaded as he touched his older brother's hand that was on his cheeks.

His tears overflowed and his teardrops even fell on Haru's face. The warm sensation coming from Gili's tears made Haru's heart ache even more, and his eyes welled up.

"Don't say… that… you… on…ly gave… me pain…" Haru could feel his strength slipping away from his body, and he started coughing blood, but he still endured it and kept on talking. "You… cough… are… my ha…ppiness… that's… why… I… named you… Gili…"

"So…" he continued, "please… smile… for me… one… last… time…" Haru requested to his younger brother as his eyes started to lose its light.

Knowing that his brother was already at his limit, Gili forcefully tried to give his brightest smile with a shaky, yet cheerful voice. "Big brother… I love you."

Hearing that, Haru smiled contentedly as he lightly bumped his forehead on Gili's. "This… big… brother is… happy."

Then, Gili felt Haru's hand slipping away from his grasp, falling on the sides, lifeless.

On that dark, rainy night, as the rain started to pour harder than it had been, hysterical cries echoed on that lonely alleyway, that no one ever notices.

…

"…ther… Big brother, wake up!" I heard someone call me as I felt my back hitting the floor with a loud thud.

Still unsure of what was happening, I sleepily tried to stand up when a blonde-haired boy jumped at me in a panic, that I fell again, my back against the desk. "Uwaaah! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you big brother…. Waaahhh!!!"

With those words, my body froze as I began to recall Gili's crying face. Ignoring the little ball of fluff that was clinging onto me, I looked at my hands, and at the walls around me.

Unlike that dark, murky place that was full of trash and broken things, this room was refreshingly bright and child-friendly. The walls were neatly painted white, with cute animals drawn at the sides and there were fluffy, expensive looking toys in almost every corner of the room.

All of these were the things that my brother and I used to fantasize about. Whenever we can't sleep, I would always tell my brother that someday, when I can get a proper job, I would decorate his room with so much toys, he would get sick of them, and I will paint his favorite penguins and dolphins on the walls.

This… why am I dreaming about these things when It's clear that I am dying? I'm sure that I was stabbed to death on an alleyway near my residence, but why does it feel like I'm actually alive?

I was lost in thought, still believing that all of this is nothing but a dream, when suddenly, I felt a sharp pain in my head.

"Ah!" I yelped as I saw a small alarm clock fall on the floor.

"Kwah! I'm sorry! It's not intentional! I swear!" In a panic, the blonde boy abruptly stood up while holding his right hand up. "You were crying so I tried waking you up but you wouldn't wake up, so I had to…"

My eyes went wide and everything that he had said just ran through my ears and out. "G-Gili?" My lips quivered as I cupped the face of my little brother's younger version.

"Huh? Yeah?" the fluff-ball that was my brother, tilted his head with a confused look.

Feeling his warm skin touching my palm, I felt my throat tightening and my eyes felt hot.

"Wha!" Alarmed, Gili frantically dried my tears with the blanket at hand. "Big brother, is your dream really that bad?"

"Yeah… I… seem to have dreamed a very long dream." I answered, even though I am sure that those things that had happened to me isn't really just a nightmare. I know that those things really did happen, but… It seems like I had been given another chance.

"Well, it's fine now, isn't it?" Gili happily smiled at me and then he pulled my hand. "Besides, mama made our breakfast! She even made your favorite! Let's go!"

Gili eagerly ran out the room while I stood there like a statue.

Mama... why do I have to meet her again?