33 Kii's heart and me in it

Looking at Kii who is watching Aoi's back with a sad expression, making me feel useless. Even when I tried my best to make her happy, there will always be something or someone that makes her sad. I knew it was unavoidable, but I still wish that all sadness was gone from  Kii's life.

I love this girl... And I almost lost her.

I feel myself trembling at the remembrance. Trembling with what? I'm not sure. Maybe fury for such things to happen? Fear for what was almost happened? I don't know. Right now, I feel like I want to keep her in my arms forever. I want to make sure that she is here with me. 

I don't want my future with her only exist in an illusion. Like his future was. He is not me, but if it wasn't for him, I won't be here now. I still thankful. His love for her makes my love for her possible.

Speaking of him...

Gah! I forgot to punch him! For hurting Kii (not my Kii but still Kii), for doing that thing to the Kii that was in the prison, for being a coward, for not protecting her. I really, really, really wanted to punch him. I got a chance yet I just let it go like that? Oh, the regret! Dammit!

"Ace-kun? Are you alright?" Kii asked when she saw me grabbing my own head and agonizing in silent for my lost chance in punching Arzen.

"I'm okay, Kii. Sorry for making you worry" I smiled.

"You sure? You seem in pain a few moments ago" Kii said worriedly while peering into my eyes. Her hand checking my temple and my cheeks.

"I'm fine," I said firmly before I pulled her into my arms.

Kii's body moulding into me perfectly. I don't want to let her go. I want to hold her forever. I hope that the time will stop moving and leave me and Kii alone. I hope in every life I born (if I had a chance to be reincarnated again) Kii will be there too. I hope I will fall in love with Kii in every life I have. I hope there was a Kii in my previous life, in Portgas D Ace's life. 

"Ahem...!" When I was lost in my own world about "what ifs" and "Kii", my family was waiting for me to notice them, it seems. And because I didn't notice them for quite long, my brother decided to remind me that they were still around.

I pout at him, not letting Kii go.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Don't look at me like that! You know we need to talk!" Nii-sama said curtly before he turns his sight away from me.

"Why are you turning away from me? Did I make you angry? Do you hate me, Nii-sama?" I asked worriedly. 

What if while I was sleeping I made some mistakes? What if Nii-sama thinks I was weak and he doesn't need a little brother like me? What if my actions (I don't know what it was, but it must be something) made Nii-sama hates me?

"Idiot! Why would I hate you? You're an annoying little brother, indeed. You're a handful little brother. Crazy and make me worry about you for eternity, but you're my little brother. I wouldn't trade you with anything. Sometimes, I wonder what is happening inside that head of yours. You always seem to find the most bizarre conclusion!" Nii-sama shakes his head in exasperation. 

"You were turning away from me!" I accused.

"I don't want to see that exact expression on your face!" Nii-sama sighs.

"See! You hate me!" I said in despair.

"No, I don't" Nii-sama replied.

"Yes, you do!"

"I don't"

"I'm pretty sure you do!"

"I am definitely sure that I don't"

"Arren Nii-sama hates me. What did I do to make Nii-sama hates me?"

"Stop being stupid. I don't hate you, Arzen!"

"You do!"

"I don't!"

"Do!"

"I don't hate you," Nii-sama said looking straight into my eyes. I look back at him, with Kii looking back and forth between us.

"..."

"..."

We stare at each other for a while.

"Yes, you do!" I said again.

"Arzen!" Nii-sama sighs again.

"Arren-Nii!" I reply.

"You're such a kid" Nii-sama rubs my head fondly.

"You were looking away from me" I insist.

"You were giving me those puppy dog eyes. You know, the one that makes me always want to do whatever you ask me to do. I was avoiding that. Not you" he finally admits.

"Really? Anything I want?" I perked.

"I have just dug my own grave, haven't I?" Nii-sama muttered.

By now, Kii is giggling softly between us, while King Father and Lady Mother finally decided to interfere.

"Your brother was beyond worry about your conditions, Son. You should know by now just how much you meant for him" King Father explained.

"Father! We agreed to keep it as a secret!" Nii-sama said with a red face.

I smile. I really am a lucky person to have them. In other life, I have such wonderful families, and then here too I am blessed with another amazing family. I see, even someone like me is allowed to have this kind of happiness. I am really glad to be born (again) here. 

"Stop looking so smug!" Nii-sama knocks my head. I was too happy to reply, so I just smile while following them to talk.

 We are talking about my attacker who I still don't know who it was. We know that Kii knew who was it but we don't want to confirm it. Well, all of us know who it was that attacked me, but because the spell that she used was supposed to be harmless, we don't have evidence (again) to accuse her of making me sleep for that long. Since the spell only has that effect because of my situation, even if we did accuse her, we won't have enough evidence to punish her. The court will only let her go without any punishment. She can say that she was pranking me, then get a light punishment. In the end, our side will still lose the battle, so we decided to give her another chance to atone herself.

Had she was not being kidnapped with Kii too, we can accuse her of trying to harm Kii. BUT, again... sigh... there is no evidence of her being the one who took the kidnapper to The Academy ground. The witness is only Kii. Even if Kii is from a noble house, she can't just accuse someone. Besides, Kii said she wants to see if that Pink Thing still can change or not. Honestly, I think Kii didn't forgive that pink thing, she just gives that pink thing a leeway because she likes Noah. It was not for pink thing's sake but more for Noah's sake. Jezz, my fiancee is just too nice, isn't she? 

Kii is so much different from me. I am brash and easy to get angry. I am impatient and hard to forgive or forget about something bad that was happening to me. While Kii forgives but never forget. Kii is strong but has a soft heart. Kii is small, adorable, cute, gorgeous, but the most amazing thing about her is not her appearance. It was her heart. Kii's heart is warm. There is so much love in it.  Love for her precious people, and even love for other being that she thinks deserves it. Heck, She even still has a place in her heart to give chances to people who had hurt her. Kii's heart is one of a kind. No one will be able to be like her. 

Kii is too good to be real, but she is real. And the most amazing thing is that she is mine.

"What is it?" Kii asked as I look at her happily.

"Nothing. I was just thinking how lucky I am to have you in my life" I said.

Kii's face turns red. She smiles shyly at me and whispers "It is me who is lucky to have you in my life" She looks at me before she adds "I don't know how my life would turn to be without Ace-kun in it" She caresses my cheeks lovingly, "I might not be able to have this much happiness if Ace-kun never comes to love me", Then, she pecks my lips "Thank you for loving me" She said with a smile.

Without realizing what happening, I feel myself tears up. That statement. I know it very well. How happy and thankful you feel when you realised that you are being loved. To heard it was given to me... I don't know what is this feeling in my heart. I feel so much happiness, but I feel like I want to cry too. I always thought that it was just me that treasure Kii, never ever in my own imagination, I think that I deserve to be treasured by Kii as well. To know how much my existence meant to Kii, how much she loves me, how thankful she is to have me in her life, her happiness to have my love... it's too much. My heart might explode in happiness. 

"Ace-kun?" Kii called worriedly. She wipes my tears with her hands. I hug her in reply. 

"Thank you. Thank you for saying that, Kii. It means so much to me. So much. I love you, Kii. You are the best thing that ever been mine" I told her. Kii tightens her hold on me too at my words.

We sat there embracing each other in silence. We are in my room. After we finished talking with my family we excused ourselves to take a rest. Kii was still tired and recovered from the ordeal. We sat in my bed, cuddling after we finished cleaning ourselves. Sometimes, just being with her is enough to make me happy. To have Kii in my arms is the same as if I was given the moon and all the stars in the universe. I won't need anything else.

"Let rest, hmm. Aoi will come to get you tomorrow. We wouldn't want him to murder me when I finally was able to wake up, right?" I joke.

"Of course," Kii said with a giggle.

Kii nestle herself in my arms as we prepare to sleep. Meanwhile, I rest my head on her hair. I hope I will always have this happiness in my life. I hope I will always have her in my arms every night. I can't wait to have our wedding. When everything calms down, I knew then my wedding and Kii will soon be discussed. I am still a Crown Prince, after all. When a Crown Prince proposed to his fiancee, the wedding will soon follow. That is what always happens in our kingdom or at least that is what was written in history books that Nii-sama forced me to read years ago. I really can't wait for it to happen. I close my eyes and smile at the image of Kii in a wedding dress.

Aoi comes in the afternoon to collect Kii. He looks at me strangely and proudly. Well, at least I thought he looks kind of proud. 

"Good job, Arzen!" He comments.

"What?" I ask in confusion.

"Good job for growing up and not to makes Kii stay up all night," He said carelessly.

 "I don't always make Kii stay up all night," I told him which he ignored in favour of greeting and saying his thanks to my family.

"Aoi! I really don't!" I called out to him.

Kii is patting my shoulder in sympathy. "I don't, right?" I ask her.

"No, you don't" Kii smiles.

"Kii, you're not just saying that to make me happy, right?" I whine at her. She laughs at me. Her laugh is beautiful likes a melody in my ears.

"Of course not, even if Ace-kun did make me stay up all night, I'm sure that it was because I don't mind it" She continues.

"Really?" I smile.

"Really" She answers.

"Okay, enough. Stop flirting you two" Aoi said behind us.

"Oh damn! I thought he left us" I said in an exasperated voice.

"You wish!" Aoi snorts.

We laugh and move to talk in the garden with Nii-sama guiding us. Aoi explaining to us about what was happening in their house. He also apologises to Kii for making a decision about their Mother without asking Kii first. Kii only smiles and said that she is happy with the result. Kii said that she trusts Aoi and she has the same feeling as Aoi. Kii also said that Aoi is right, Kii will be sad if She found out that their Mother isn't in the house anymore.

Kii, even if she never was accepted by Duchess Wallace as a daughter, seems that still respect her as her sibling's mother. I knew the fact that for Kii herself she was never Kii's mother as Kii was taught in a very young age by her that she was not Kii's mother and Kii was not her daughter. Kii understand that the missing of the mother in her family will make her sibling sad, that is why she was ready to forget how she was treated in the past. For the sake of her sibling, she is also preparing herself to come back to that house. To the house that makes her feel suffocated. I am so proud of her. 

I am not worried because I know Aoi will protect her. We also talked about Midori's biological father who was previously assumed dead, Who was actually still alive and hiding in The Holy Land or officially called The Ethersaint Kingdom, Who is Kii's and Aoi's biological mother's killer. Aoi tells Kii about Midori's worried about Kii's feeling toward her which Kii immediately said silly because, for Kii, Midori is her Nee-sama, whoever her real Father turns to be, she is forever her Nee-sama.

We are really proud of her. Kii grows up well. Kii becomes such wonderful lady with a heart of gold. I know she is going to be okay. Kii holds her precious people close to her heart. I know, like me, she also will protect her precious people with all her might.

Nii-sama shares with us about Lexy whereabout and his mission. He is currently in a mission from my King Father. He is 'cleaning up' some nobles who are useless to our kingdoms and only want the power for themselves and not for the sake of the citizen in their territory. King Father knows how much I was longing for adventure, and because of my actions a few weeks ago (taking Kii out of the school, proposing to Kii, etc), King Father decided that it's time for them to take an action as well. Before I make another unexpected move that can be the reason for the specific nobles to make excused to belittle me, Father King decided to blow up their misdoings first with Lexy help.

After hearing that, I kind of feel guilty. I tried to apologise, but Nii-sama said I don't need to as it is going to happen sooner or later. It is actually good that it happens this soon, so the suffering of some of our citizen can be stopped.

Nii-sama explained that even when we suspected some of our nobles houses are not good, we never really knew how bad it was. Because of my actions that make those corrupt noble houses lessen their guard (they were to busy criticizing my action that they didn't think that Lexy is out to investigate them and not looking for me and Kii), they were finally able to gain some evidence. My actions also push the underground team to move faster in their investigation because on the surface they were busy looking for me to every territory, while what really happen were that they were investigating that territory to find which one was corrupt and which one was not. Thanks to that, we were able to find out that some of our citizens are actually suffering and then we also able to take action to help them.

On the pretend of looking for their missing crown prince, Lexy's troupe were able to collect enough shreds of evidence to bring those corrupt Nobles to court and punish them. That is why we weren't able to meet Lexy these few months.

I was impressed by Nii-sama and King Father ability. They were able to make my selfish action to be a way to make our kingdom better. I was right. Nii-sama is worthy to be the next king. I don't think that I would be able to assist King Father if I was the one that was in Nii-sama position that time. I told so to Nii-sama who in turn told me that it wouldn't have happened if I never reached out to him. He said that all the good things that are happening in our family are starting from me. 

Arren Nii-sama really held too high opinions about me. He has overestimated me too much. I am not that good. My previous action is for my own selfish desire. It was never for the sake of other people. But Nii-sama is only smiles and rubs my head like he always does when I told him that. He said that he wouldn't have reached this position if it was not for me. Whatever he means... We all know that it was because of his own ability that he now able to be in this position. It is because my Nii-sama is just too amazing.

Aoi and Kii agree with me that Arren Nii-sama is amazing. Though, Kii said that I also not allowed to take my hand out of all these. Kii said that even if I was not aware of it, I was able to change many things in their lives.

"Change my heart, change my world, change me," Kii said with a smile while Aoi and Arren Nii-sama nod along at her statement.

I am speechless. I never have anyone telling me that my action, my existence and myself were able to change them. 

Am I allowed to feel happy about it?