A miserable day

A day where the I am seating near a river and thinking that I am really a useless. And.. Thinking

Why me???

Always struggling for everything. I am struggling in school, in relation ships and also in friendship.

Why everyone leave me behind after using me?

My friends whom I really trust leave me behind and ditch me after using..... Can I change myself .... At that time I feels like my life is destroyed. I have no future because I am also very terrible in study.

At that time I saw a couple who is very intimate and looking happy. I wondered that..... Can I also be like them?

Can I also have someone who cares for me, love me .

Just I kept thinking about this.

Like this a very miserable day passed..

That day is miserable for me because my friends ditch me. I really heartbroken at that time. My class fellow always keep saying me that you are the only one who thinks that they are your friends but they thinks you as tool and you are being used. Normally i am very good in identifying the people's intentions but in friendship I am blindfolded or may be I don't want to see that I am being used. I ignored these thoughts and keep walking with them. Trying to adjust with them. But I never see that day coming who made my day miserable....