1 I wish...

Ying Zhen, Ying which means smart and Zhen as innocent.

Mother Zhao and Father Zhao named me with those pretty characteristics in hopes to made me who they hope for.

But not everything is as they wish for.

They gave birth to twins named Ying Li which means smart and beautiful, which she did achieve in no time. She was the first born, second was me who was too weak and has to be in the incubator for months because of my health due to my twin taking almost all of the nutrients when we were in our mother's womb.

But it seems like that it wasn't just that she had taken away from me, but also my life.

I became her shadow while she shined like the brightest sun in the sky. Meanwhile, I remained like the moon, I prefer silence and being alone.

But not to the point where I feel like our home where just they're home.

I feel like an outsider who just wish to have a small ounce of love they gave to her, yet all they do was to hover around her and love her like she's the only child.

"I'm going to be honest with you. With all those alcohol and cigarettes, as well as....drugs...inside your body....I'm afraid to say that it already spread on your body" His calm voice brought me nothing but peace in this white room I'm staying at.

"Did-Did they come?" I ask hesitant, still unsure whether to address the big elephant in the closet.

"They...they did as a matter of fact, I was about to tell toy that there's a chance of making you-"

I didn't listen to his words anymore, because I already knew the answer. His words like the wind fleeting into my ears but I was barely comprehending his words, still stuck on the reality I already know.

"You don't have to say anything...I knew" My eyes hung low, afraid to make him see the glacier like slice of my eyes when I knew he lied.

How many people have lied to me? Is it hundreds? Or maybe a thousands, I don't know. But their words were the same, their tone and their face are the same.

The eyes can't hide what the mouth intends to.

He was left dumbstruck before a blush overtook his whole face while I lay there staring at him. He must think that because I look naive, I am one. He just didn't see the battle scars in my heart and the experience I handled in my thirty years of life.

"Well then, I hope that you take care of yourself. I believe that they'll come, just be positive and it will all turn out fine" Smiling, he closed the door one more time.

The room was basked in silence, only the occasional beating of the machine in my side as well as the humming of the winds provided me with noise. Closing my eyes, I readied myself with another nightmare and wished...

"I wished that today would finally be my end"

Then I was sucked into a pit of darkness and only the beating of my heart was left, still hanging onto that wish.