1 Chapter One

"Can you make more of these?"

Sammy looked up from his phone over the back of the couch to where Ashli was standing in the kitchen doorway. In her hand was the last blueberry scone Sammy had made a day or two beforehand. He shrugged a shoulder. "I guess. You ate them all, already?"

"I take them to class with me so I don't have to eat the nasty snack bar food." Ashli nodded as she slid the breakfast treat into a small plastic bag. "I have some money if you need it."

"Naw, keep it." Sammy shook his head, dropping his phone into his lap and leaning back against the arm of the couch. "I got paid yesterday, plus I got some good tips. I got the money. I can get the ingredients later. What kind do you want?"

"Can you make mixed berry? I saw some cherries on sale the other day. If you wait until I get home, I will help you take the stones out." Ashli spoke as she moved about, and Sammy watched. She picked up her school bag, her keys, phone, and wallet before leaving his sight and heading for the front door of their apartment. "And blueberries. Actually, wait — What's today?"

"Tuesday."

Ashli appeared in the doorway to the living room. "Don't you have to work this afternoon?" She pushed red hair behind her ear as she spoke.

Sammy shook his head. "After last night, boss man said he didn't need me today, so when I get around to it, I will head to the store. I may go down to the open market. Or maybe the park. I saw we are out of green tea."

"Yeah, sorry about that. My fault. I should have added it to the grocery list."

"Not a big deal, we'll get more." Sammy grinned. He turned on the couch to see Ashli better. "Don't worry about it. I will just go down to Al's, get a tea, and then go take a walk around the park, I think. It would be nice to wander the city without having to worry about getting pizza to somebody in less than twenty."

Ashli hesitated. "All right, if that's what you wanna do. Should I meet you there after class?"

"I don't know yet. I'll text you when I figure it out."

"Okay, I can do whatever you want to. I'll have the car, remember." Ashli shrugged a shoulder, lingering in the hallway as she stuffed the scone into her school bag.

"You're going to be late to class. When I have a better idea of what I am doing, I'll text you."

Nodding, Ashli opened the door. "All right. Keep me posted, Sammy."

"Bye." Sammy took a deep breath as Ashli closed the door to their small two bedroom apartment before picking up his phone. It was a little past nine, and Sammy knew Ashli would be in class until about noon. They could meet up then and go to the market together. The couple of free hours would give Sammy enough time to take a quick shower, walk to the corner café to get a cup of tea and maybe a breakfast sandwich before he walked to the park.

Getting up, Sammy walked to his room, gathered a change of clothes, and headed back to the bathroom. Setting his clothes down, Sammy turned on the shower and decided to shave quickly while the water heated. Mind almost on autopilot, Sammy went about getting the shaving gel from the cabinet, able to feel the beginning bit of stubble on his face when he ran his fingers over his cheeks with the gel. Setting the can back in the cabinet, Sammy picked up his razor, and noticed his reflection seemed to falter for an instant before returning to mimicking his every move. He paused for a moment, simply staring into his own eyes before he shook his head to clear his thoughts, deciding he could really use that cup of tea to wake up a bit more. While he should have been surprised, Sammy chalked the slight hesitation up to him being so tired, and figured his own reaction time was sluggish, making it seem like his mind was playing tricks on him. He should be sleeping, Sammy knew, but getting the random day off made Sammy want to go out and do something other than just sleep.

While he hated the fact he worked long and tiring hours, the pay was decent, and the tips helped, but he still wasn't going to let the chance to be outside on his own time pass him by either. He'd started at the very bottom of the busy pizza place, working under the table washing dishes at fifteen for less than minimum wage. At sixteen he had been hired on part-time as the dishwasher and he'd worked his way up to cook, which he absolutely hated. The kitchen was hot, and the smell of pizza wouldn't come out of his clothes no matter what Ashli, her parents, or he tried. When a bicycle delivery position opened up — a quirky little thing only his boss seemed to do within the local pizza place community — Ashli had helped Sammy get the job, and for the last three years that's what he had been doing. He knew he needed to get out, but he was much better off than he had been when he'd started this job, and his boss really was very generous, so he was a little hesitant to leave.

After his shower, Sammy got dressed, snagged the grocery list from the fridge, wrote down 'green tea,' pulled on his hoodie sweatshirt, and made sure the apartment was locked. Given the time of day, the hallway was fairly quiet, and the elevator ride to the ground floor was lonely, but as soon as he stepped out of their apartment building onto the street, that feeling of solitude vanished. The city was full of sounds and traffic, the busy hustle and bustle of a working city not caring that Sammy had the day off. Stuffing his hands in his sweatshirt pocket, Sammy made his way down to Al's on the corner of 5th Street.

Holding open the door for a few people to exit, Sammy stepped inside and up to the back of the line, idly browsing the order board as he waited. He knew what he wanted, but he still liked to look to see if there were any specials or something new that he may have wanted to try. The long line was moving slowly, but steadily, and Sammy had only been in line for a minute or two when he felt someone smack him in the arm. "No shit," a vaguely familiar voice started. "It really is you. How the hell are you, Sammy?"

Sammy turned to come face to face with a man about his age, who was all smiles. It took him a second to recognize it as his friend — and first crush — Colby from high school. Colby had moved away and they had lost contact. Sammy felt his cheeks flush as the old memories came flooding back. "Colby? Wow, it's really great to see you! What are you doing here?"

Colby pointed off somewhere over his shoulder. "Dad opened up a second office down on 2nd Street, and I'm helping to run it until I leave for law school. You just turned twenty-one, didn't you? Get drunk?"

"Had to work the next day, so no." Sammy shook his head and took a deep breath. He tried to remain calm even though he was sure Colby could see how anxious he was about seeing him. That spark from high school was still there Sammy was realizing, and he wasn't sure how Colby would react if Sammy said anything. "Things have finally calmed down for me. I don't want to lose the small gain I've managed to get."

Colby's face twisted in what looked like mock concern. "What happened? Everything okay?"

"Now it is; yes, thanks to the help I've gotten along the way. It's been a rough few years." Sammy inhaled, taking a moment to try and sort through his thoughts. His mind was racing over what had happened to him since he'd last seen Colby, as well as what had happened between them before he moved away. Sammy didn't think he would ever be able to forget that evening they were sitting on Sammy's front porch when he bumbled his way through asking Colby out, only for Colby to tell him that he was moving away. Finally, he decided that right after that night on the porch was the best place to begin. "Remember how I was trying to figure out —" Sammy stopped as the barista called for the next person in line.

Their conversation was put on hold as it became Sammy's turn to order his breakfast. They talked about idle things while in the café, but Colby delved right back into the harder questions as soon as they were back on the street. "Anyway," he started, sipping at his coffee. "If I remember, you thought you were gay or something."

"Bi, actually, but not the point. After you moved away, my old man caught wind and it made things hard at home, but Gram was still alive, so that helped ease the seething hatred he seemed to have for me. When she died, the first thing he did was kick me out. He wasn't 'gonna have no fag in this house.' Did some couchsurfing for a few months and managed to snag a job under the table at Joey's Pizzeria. All while still trying to go to school."

"He kicked you out right after your gram died? Holy shit! That's pretty shitty, man. What's he say now?"

"Don't know. I haven't spoken to him since I was eighteen." Sammy shook his head. "Ashli's parents found out I was basically homeless and took me in. They've been really supportive about everything. I owe the whole family a lot."

Colby smiled brightly at the mention of Ashli. "How is Ashli anyway? You still talk to her?"

"She's good." Sammy paused to take a sip of his tea and press the button for the crosswalk as they came to a large intersection. "Off to class right now. We have an apartment together, the college is nearby, and I've got a steady enough job. It's been good. But what about you? What have you been up to?"

"Oh, not a lot. Finished high school, went to college, and followed along in the family business. Going to start law school in the spring. Dad wants me to be able to do more at the office than I have been doing. Basically been a glorified secretary while I've been in school." Colby started across the street as the crosswalk light chirped to let them know they could cross. "So you live with Ashli? The whole dating guys thing didn't work for you?"

"Well." Sammy felt his cheeks flush and he gripped his tea cup a little tighter. "No, I'd actually prefer a male partner over a female one." Sammy took a deep breath, heart pounding in his chest. He wasn't going to ask Colby out, he knew after so long that was a pretty stupid thing to try and do, but he was still curious about what had happened after they had spent all those evenings sitting on his front steps. "What about you? Are you —"

"Hell, no." Colby took a deep breath, eyes facing forward as he took a sip of his coffee. "You were just a phase, Sammy. I've moved on from that."

Sammy felt something shatter inside him, and he wasn't sure if it was the confirmation of rejection after all these years, or the way Colby had said it. Sammy felt betrayed and a little bit like a fool for thinking a highschool crush could ever amount to something more. "Oh," he said quietly, nodding as he raised his cup to his lips. "Sorry, I never meant to —"

"Naw, don't be, that's what friends are for, right?" Colby grinned at Sammy, throwing his free arm around Sammy's shoulders. Something didn't quite feel right in the action, and Sammy was starting to realize that this Colby wasn't the same kid he'd grown up with. The Colby he remembered was quiet and considerate of other people. "Speaking of friends," Colby started, and Sammy felt nausea twist in his gut. "You'd say we're still friends, right?"

"Yeah, we did grow up together." Sammy looked over to where Colby's arm hung off his shoulder, fingers gesturing in the air as they walked. Ahead of them, Sammy could see the park, the large green landscape opening up and offering a sense of salvation that Sammy had never experienced before around Colby. Colby had always been someone Sammy could be himself around growing up, but now Colby was unfamiliar. Something about their meeting today — even though it was random — felt off to Sammy, and he suddenly wanted nothing more than to get away from him.

"Great!" Colby chuckled, grip tightening around Sammy's shoulders. "So, then tell me, if you aren't dating her, is Ashli single?���

"What?" Sammy pulled away, turning to look at Colby as he stopped in the middle of the busy sidewalk.

"Is Ashli single," Colby repeated. "Been looking for a girlfriend, and I completely forgot about Ashli until you mentioned her. Still the fiery redhead we know and love?"

"Yes." Sammy took a step back from Colby, disgusted with his sudden questions. "But that is not a question I have the right to answer."

"Come on, between friends, right? You can tell me. You must have her number; at least give me that, man! Throw me something."

Sammy shook his head, taking a step toward the park. "No, I think not. I'd say it was nice seeing you Colby, but honestly, it wasn't." Raising his cup in hand to mimic a wave, Sammy took a deep breath. "Enjoy the rest of your day." Turning, Sammy didn't wait for Colby to reply, and instead walked through the park entrance, deciding to walk around the lake to get as far away from Colby as he could until he could meet up with Ashli. He only looked back over his shoulder once to see if Colby was following him, but was pleased to see that all the people on the paved path were unfamiliar.

Finding a bench, Sammy took a deep breath and sat down to eat his breakfast. Checking the time on his phone, Sammy nodded to himself and finally picked up the breakfast sandwich he had gotten. It was still warm to the touch, but the first bite revealed the eggs, cheese, and bacon were much cooler than he would have liked. Oh well. He still had about an hour to kill before Ashli would text him to let him know she was out of class, so Sammy decided to sit, eat, and think of what to do next.

The pond was as smooth as a pane of glass, and there was a small flock of ducks nestled into the grass by the water's edge. Sammy sat and ate, enjoying the view and the sense of calmness that seemed to be in the air. His conversation with Colby still bothered him. Sammy tried to push it from his mind as he checked the time on his phone once again, but he couldn't get what Colby had said out of his head. He was upset at himself for ever thinking he could fall for someone like that, and while he was glad he hadn't ever gotten anywhere with Colby, a part of him was upset he'd wasted so much time trying.

Taking a deep breath, Sammy let it out slowly, trying to decide if he wanted to tell Ashli about seeing Colby. While he wanted to talk to her about how he felt, a bit disappointed, and really hurt over the rejection, he didn't want to bother her with his problems. Ashli had to focus on school, and had her own problems with past boyfriends. She didn't need his needless drama added to her list of things to worry about.

Deciding to head to the college to meet Ashli, he finished his meal, texted her the slight change of plans, and left, headed for the nearest bus stop that would take him to his destination. Once together with Ashli, they could spend their afternoon wandering around the open market, maybe even find something a little different to have for dinner. While he waited for the bus, Sammy thought about the scones they were going to make. Ashli had said she wanted cherries and blueberries in them; Sammy wondered if he could convince her to add blackberries and truly make them mixed berry. He also thought about making a small batch of chocolate chip muffins to take to Ashli's parents when they went over for dinner Saturday night — something they had started doing once Sammy and Ashli had moved into the apartment.

Losing his train of thought as the bus pulled up, Sammy blinked at his reflection in the tinted windows, frowning as his brain still seemed to be a little sluggish on picking up on the reaction time of his reflection's movements. He thought about talking to Ashli about taking some actual time off. Maybe he just needed a few days to really rest and recharge, and get over this feeling of loneliness that had settled into the pit of his stomach after Colby's rejection. They would need to look at their finances to see if he would be able to take a couple days off, a week tops, just so he could get back to where he should be. Even with tea, he felt tired, and his brain clearly hadn't caught up to the rest of him. Finding an empty seat on the bus, Sammy took a deep breath, exhaling as he rested his head on the glass of the window, frowning at his reflection.