Loud music and dancing lights. That's how you describe the night life of every person that goes in a place like this.
I was waiting for my other friends to arrive. I am now sitting on our reserved place and with some of my friend but the ones I'm really close with was not here yet. So I texted messaged them on our own Group chat.
(Me: YAH!! what are you guys doing? You are the one who invited me, Yet you're still not here!)
(Giesel: Can you just wait for a bit Karl We are almost there. Christ! your patience is as small as your nail)
I ignored the chat and waited for them to arrive as I watch the people around the bar.
Come to think of it. We encounter different people whenever we come here or even just in our daily lives. I just wonder if any of these people is the one that I want to be with for life. Sure most of them here in the club are not aiming for a lifetime partner but for a one time pleasure.
I looked around again and saw a group of ladies, maybe a little younger than me. I'm 25 by the way. They are giggling and enjoying the night. One of them seems like she has been forced to go here. If I'm not mistaken her friends are pushing her to talk to the guy at the bar.
I smirked a bit cause I remembered how I pushed Claire that time to a guy at the counter one time we went to a bar. Look how they end up being married now.
We really don't know if the people we encounter are the ones who will stay for the rest of our life or the one that will teach us a lesson to face the struggles that may come.
I heard someone called me so I turn my head to them.
"Karl. Giesel and Claire is here." One of our colleagues inform me
I saw them waving and smiling at me but I just rolled my eyes. They are not that busy yet they let me be with some of our friends which I find uncomfortable. They really know how to piss me big time.
"Hey there MA FRIEND" Giesel said like I was not mad at them.
I faked a smile at her then ignored her and drink my wine that has been ignored on our table for times now.
Claire laughed and turn her head as if she is looking for someone.
"Your guy is over there" I said and pointed at 10 o'clock
I saw her giggle. Psh! these people really knows how to make me feel single in thousand words.
"Stop flirting for now C! For God's sake you just met him hours ago" Giesel said cause she is also single. She said she don't have time for stupid things. haha let's see if you can say that once you fall in love.
We were partying all night and my friends got drunk really hard. Tsk! They invited me here yet I'm the one who's gonna take them home. That's why sometimes I don't want them to drink even if we are at a bar.
It was pass 1:00 am when I decided to get Giesel a cab cause Claire's now with her boyfriend.
After I make sure that Giesel is safe and slightly sober in the cab. I let them go.
I was thinking if I should go back inside or I should go home. But I'm still not tired. I entered the bar again and decided to stay for another hour. I'm now at the second floor of the bar which is a less chaotic than the first floor. I just want to relax and feel my drink so I proceeded to the corner part of the floor.
I let my body be eaten by the bean bag as I sit on it. And enjoyed watching the people around me getting wild.
My name is Karleishia Arden Hart. My family is known for our business that includes banking and finance. My friends call me Karl. I live my life like this because I thought this would make me feel free, but lately I have been questioning my life decisions. I feel like I'm not or this life does not meet the meaning of freedom that I want. I still don't know what can make me feel free but these things are now excluded in it. Maybe I should travel and find myself.
After I finished my drink I decided to go for a walk since this bar is along the bay. I'm wearing a plain puffed sleeves crop top and a high waist satin shorts. I'm now holding my alligator beach sandals cause I want to feel the sand.
I love hearing the waves and the wind simultaneously. I decided to sit on the sand and reflect on things that happened on the past few months.
I sighed. I told my friends that I'm over him but I'm still hurting. I just don't want them to focus on me since they have their own life. And yes I have a boyfriend and now an ex.
As I watch the water meets the sand I remembered how shallow the stares he gave me that night when I was about to answer the question he asked me before.
"Will you marry me?" he said.
We are alone in my room here in my condo and he suddenly ask me that and showed me their Heirloom ring.
I was shocked cause I don't know how to answer him. I know we've been together since College but I still can't see myself marrying someone. I love him. I totally do but I haven't explore the world that I want yet.
"Uhmm... Can we not talk about it first?" I said. Cause I don't want to disappoint him.
I still remember how we fought that night. I told him that I'll give him my answer if I'm ready. I thought that solved everything then cause the morning after, we're doing fine. But weeks later he always ask me about that matter that I can't answer. And that caused the frequent fight.
Until one day when I realized that maybe we can do the things I want together after our marriage I finally want to answer him. And also to reconcile with him that I even bought us dinner. But to my surprise he is having a dinner with somebody else.
I told him that my answer to his question is a "yes", but he just looked at me blankly. And told me to just go home.
After that I never cried. It's been two weeks now since that unfaithful night. I told my self that I should be strong and this shall pass. But right now I feel like crying. Maybe this is just because of the alcohol.
But the tears that I have been trying to conceal just came out like a river. I cried here in the dark. Silently even though I'm the only one here at the shore
I watched the sea and it's calling me. Maybe I should take a dip then go home.
I removed my top and walk in to the water. I decided to just float near the shore.
I thought of the things that might happen if I did not think of myself and my goals in life. Does that make my heart free from the ache that my pasts decision made? Maybe if I said yes to him I wouldn't be feeling this shit. But am I happy that way? with regrets? I don't know. I want to forget. I badly want to erase everything. I closed my eyes as I felt a tear rolled down my wet face.
As I opened my eyes again I felt sleepy. Maybe I should take a nap here for a while. Just for a while I'll let myself be at ease. I look at the sky.
The stars are so bright and the moon... the moon...