1 Chapter 1

“What the

fuck is the hold up?” a voice yelled into the night.

“It’s Monday night,” Alex said in his empty

Subaru station wagon, determined not to let the driver behind him

piss him off. “There’s a car passing.”

The sound of a horn made Alex jump, and he

looked in his rearview mirror. A rather angry looking man’s profile

filled the side mirror of the rental moving van behind him. The car

in front of him passed, and Alex began to go through the light. The

horn continued to blare in an awkward melody that could only be

made by a complete and utter jackass.

“You want slow, motherfucker?” Alex asked,

somewhat hoping that his open sunroof would carry his voice to the

driver behind him, but knowing that it wouldn’t.

Alex slowly accelerated as he turned the

car, grateful that no one else seemed to be trying to get to the

grocery store side road except for him and the horn drummer. The

man continued to beat his horn, and Alex accelerated just for a

second, then slammed on his brakes. He could hear the screeching of

the van behind him and the man’s angry voice, although he could not

make out what the guy was saying.

“Sorry,” Alex yelled through the sunroof in

his nicest voice, and then the horn stopped for a second.

He slowly accelerated again, thinking that

this would probably be the longest quarter of a mile the van’s

driver had ever experienced. The sound of the horn made him jump

again

“Some people never learn,” Alex mumbled to

the car, and slammed his breaks on a second time.

Alex waited for the screech, and then

smiled. The man’s loud profanity made his smile grow, as he turned

into the strip mall entrance. By the time the van raced past him in

the empty parking lot, Alex was almost in hysterics. Not even a

minute later as he parked next to the moving van, Alex forced

himself to regain his composure. They were the only two people

around, so it was easy for Alex to tell that the driver was the man

about fifteen feet in front of him who was now walking at an almost

leisurely pace.

Alex guessed the evil son-of-a-bitch to be

about six three or six four, which was a good bit taller than his

own five-eight frame. He had salt and pepper hair, but was probably

no older than thirty-six. His khakis and a button-up shirt made him

seem as if he should be in a lawn mower ad. Alex guessed that he

was about four years older than the horn drummer, and he was

suddenly grateful that most people thought he was in his early

thirties. The man looked back and took Alex in with a long glance

from head to toe, and then smiled.

He did not just check me out, Alex

thought, slowly saying each word in his head. That mother

fucker

With blond hair and a strong jaw, Alex knew

that he was traditionally handsome and friendly looking. He was

used to being treated nicely by strangers, but this was ridiculous.

How would this man have treated him if he had been elderly or if he

had been an unattractive woman? Would the tall man have continued

the little tantrum he had demonstrated in the car, leaving the

other person perhaps scared or intimidated by his big frame?

Although he was shorter than the man, Alex

was a faster walker. As he got right behind the man, Alex noticed

that the stranger had a rather amazing ass with a big muscular

shape that seemed to be fighting to escape his khakis.

“Figures,” Alex said, more loudly than he

intended.

“What?” the man asked, turning toward

Alex.

As Alex started to surpass the man, he made

eye contact again, and nodded to the man’s backside as he said,

“That your body matches your personality.”

The man at first smiled, and then Alex

realized exactly when the statement had processed because he could

see the same angry look from the mirror appear on the man’s face.

Alex nodded at the large bottomed man and walked off into the

grocery store.

Ten minutes later, as Alex was headed toward

the self-check-out line, he heard a loud rattling. He turned to see

the large assed man running with his grocery cart, desperate to

surpass him.

Once in front of the line, the man turned

back to Alex.

“I didn’t think you’d care if I was in

front, since you don’t mind the view,” the man said.

“You really are an ass,” Alex replied.

Large Ass smiled at Alex, reached over and

grabbed a candy bar, and then dropped it. As he bent down to pick

it up, he turned back to Alex and said, “Yes, I am.”

The man turned his head forward so that he

and Alex were no longer making eye contact, but he continued to

bend over, acting as though he couldn’t quite grab the candy bar.