2 It's been ..

Dear Mother.. Dear mom.. Dear...

It has been a couple months since we last spoken, a couple months since I last saw you and a couple months since you left. I can't really remeber anything before or past the day you left. Maybe I choose not to but either way there is a hole in my chest I can't seem to fill. It's empty and cold.

I can't seem to smile as I did nor enjoy myself anymore. Is it my punishment for being unfillial. Did you take those parts of me with you?

You know I remeber the day you left clearly, I remeber it in detail, so much that I just want to never think again. I ask myself could you have stayed longer or could I have not left when I did. Did you wait for me to leave?

I really didn't want to remebr you that way, I didn't want to have to even see you that way. I did try to avoid it as much as possible. I tried to stay away as much as possible. But those choices hunt me til' today.

Everyone says they dream of you, that you visit them and smile at them. Why haven't you visited me? I haven't seen you since then? All I get is the pain and regret of that day.

Have you abonded me completly? it seems so ..