2 No Pants

Jun slowly regained consciousness as he felt a cool and refreshing breeze past by his crown jewels. He scrunched his face as he felt a weird tingling sensation on his shoulder, he half-consciously brushed it off before slowly rubbing his eyes. Beams of light landed on his face, blinding him slightly as he awoke in the middle of a small clearing. The first thing he could see were trees, extending in all directions endlessly.

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Jun stared at the trees, before looking all around him. As he felt another cold breeze pass over his body, he realized that he wasn't wearing a shirt. As he felt the dirt smearing all over his butt and legs, he realized that he wasn't wearing pants. As he felt a slight tickle on his privates, he realized he wasn't wearing any underwear. In fact, he wasn't wearing anything at all.

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"..."

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He slapped himself once on the face to try to wake up.

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"..."

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He pinched his arm as hard as he could in another futile attempt.

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"..."

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Recalling the countless stories of reincarnation, transmigration, even just virtual reality games, he recalled a common theme: yes, of course, there was some OP artifact, or system, or old wise man trapped in an OP artifact that dropped from the skies to make him the MC. Where was his plot armor?

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As he sat on the ground naked, he realized how ridiculous these assumptions were, especially with the glaring silence serving as the only response to his unanswered questions. Jun knew he wasn't a fictional character, he was just a normal person naked in the woods. The ridiculousness of the situation made it absolutely and clearly certain that was just fucked, just like every other normal person in the world, no, even worse than normal people. He was no where, with no one, with nothing.

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Jun rose from the ground and he went into a blinding rage. Honestly, at this point, something in his mind cracked: maybe the pent up anger from years of doing nothing with his life to end up in the middle of nowhere, maybe the fact that it seemed the world was affirming his life-long belief that nothing mattered, or perhaps he was just angry at the God, the event, the thing, the random ripple of fate that caused him to be in this absolutely horrible situation.

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He picked up the dirt in handfuls and chucked it at the ground, picked up rocks and threw them at the trees, stomped on branches on the ground, tore branches off the trees when he ran out of unbroken branches to stomp on, and finally, just began blindly smashing objects together. As Jun slowly calmed down, he realized that he was in an unknown environment, with no food, no shelter, no fucking goddamn clothes in the middle of fuc..he stopped himself from going into a rage once again, as he knew he would probably just go insane and try to kill himself, or do suicidal things like trying to fight a bear. His years of experience in the modern world, plus his vast amounts of knowledge would help him in this world, and at the very least, Jun had enough confidence in himself and his abilities to carve a decent life for himself.

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Regardless of how messed up the situation was, Jun was stuck here alone and he would die if he wasted any more time. As he looked to the sky, the trees covered most of it with their vast branches and leaves, and therefore, he could not properly assess the amount of daylight he had. A short memory of spending hours watching survival shows for fun flashed through his mind, and Jun desperately grabbed at any meaningful information: he silently thanked his desire for authenticity when it came to fiction, leading to extensively researching the phenomenons and actions of its characters. This ranged from survival, to molecular physics to consider how magic would work, to the modern understandings of engineering to determine whether science fiction technology like warp drives would actually exist.

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Assuming the worst possible situation of having little to no time before nightfall, Jun prioritized finding a nearby source of running water: he knew that a town or city would found near a river at some point--as all civilizations needed water to sustain themselves, especially for dense concentrations of population--, and if he could not find any signs of civilization, clean water would be one of his biggest priorities in surviving in the wild alone.

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Taking a deep breath, Jun walked out of the clearing and as he was about to continue his long journey for survival, a voice snickered in his head.

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"Hello Jun. I am your personal helper and System assistant Aura. I found it funny how much your penis flailed despite its small size. Hur, hur."

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Just before Jun was about to fly into another rage, he took a few more deep breaths and mentally tried to calm himself down, reminding him that this person or thing Aura was the best chance for his survival.

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"Okay, Aura, why don't you go through the tutorial."

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"Sorry, no tutorial little buddy. I am here to simply help you with your Character Creation and drop off your New Player Gift. Character Creation is simple. Are you male or female?"

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"Male."

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"What color is your hair?"

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"Black."

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"What is your name?"

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"Jun Kim."

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"Unacceptable, changing to Jonathan. Don't ask why as you'll just be wasting my time and I will leave immediately if you waste my time.What attribute or attributes do you want to increase? Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, Intelligence, Wisdom, Charisma. Choose 3."

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"Charisma. Dexterity. Wisdom."

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"Finally, what do you want to wear?"

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"....SOME PANTS."

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"Well alright! You are all done. Everything has been inputted and you can call up your character sheet by just focusing on the word, Character Menu, in your head. As for pants, sorry, I'll deny it for your own good because the world needs a bit more cheer and pep, hur hur. Finally here is your New Player Gift!"

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A hand axe poofed from the air--it was just willed into existence, and just appeared out of nothingness--and dropped onto the ground. It dropped only a few centimeters away from Jun's junk and he instantly began sweating as the axe landed on the ground.

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"Good luck!"

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As Aura's presence disappeared, Jun stared at the small distance between his privates and the hand axe. Taking a deep breath to calm himself and another while he picked up the hand axe, he cast a look of determination toward the distance and began his journey.