8 Chapter 08

It had been a week that Mr. Brown and I had changed our meeting spot. It was no longer the back garden. It was in Mr. Brown's office. We both didn't know what Mateo was doing there that day but we both didn't want to risk anything so, we didn't investigate. Meeting in Mr. Brown's office was a risk too. Anyone could walk right on us anytime, teachers, students and the worst principal but we only had this place to meet. He had asked me a week ago about visiting his house and never brought up that conversation again.

Mateo had caught up with me after that conversation in café. He asked for my forgiveness again and again. At first, I thought he was just trying to impress and win Keith back but when I forgave him, he didn't make a move that showed he was doing it for Keith. To be honest, I wanted Keith and Mateo to get back together but I was happy to know that for once he was actually sorry and was not trying to impress his boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend.

There was one more thing that had been bugging me for past week. I had been paranoid that someone was always following me or watching me. Many times, I stopped in my way and turned around to ask or tried to touch someone but no one was there. I thought maybe it's because of the way Mateo beat me, made me paranoid so, I shrugged it off.

I walked out of the class after the bell rang indicating that it was lunch break. I was so used to the locations now that I rarely used my cane but of course it had to be with me all of the time, though I had it folded to my side if the hallways were empty.

I felt a presence beside me. Knowing who it was actually made my lips curve. I kept walking as he kept his pace up with me.

"So what's your new spot to meet your soulmate?" Keith asked nudging an elbow. I groaned not from the pain but frustrated. He had been giving Mr. Brown aka my secret muse, names like life partner, soulmate, better-half and other embarrassing names. It's not like these were embarrassing but considering Mr. Brown and I, we hadn't even spoken what kind of relationship we had. I didn't even know him that well.

"I can't tell you." I replied and ignoring his soulmate comment because it would’ve only dragged the conversation.

"So you’re going to spend another lunch break without us?" He questioned though I could hear him not being serious about it.

“I spend all of my day with you and if that isn't enough I spend my evenings with you but there's only this time I can talk to him." I still tried to give him the reason because I didn’t want them to feel like I was ignoring them.

"Yeah I get it. Will you stay after the school?" He spoke, dropping the previous topic.

"Umm? Why?" I furrowed.

“Noah, I told you yesterday, Isaac signed me up for the goalkeeper. Trials are today." He had a little edge to his voice that meant he was annoyed.

"Oh yeah now I remember. I'll be there. It's not like I can watch you play." I shrugged not knowing whatever football is.

"But I need your moral support." He sighed.

"Don't worry I'll stay." I assured him.

"Okay. Now I’ll let you go and canoodle with your other half." He playfully nudged me in the stomach. I shook my head on his stupidity but a smile was still very much displayed on my face.

“See ya!” I said before turning to go on my way to Mr. Brown’s office. The hallways were empty and silent. I heard a pair of foot approaching me from behind and I turned around with a pacing heart.

"Hey Noah!" A voice spoke making me let out a breath of relief because I had been so paranoid. I knew who he was. I could recognize that Yorkshire accent anywhere.

"Mateo?" I still asked to confirm, completely turning to the direction where the voice was coming from.

"Yes. Noah, please help me with my math test. Please. Please. Please." He pleaded as if his life depended on it.

Hearing him plead made me want to help him. After all, I had forgiven him. But helping him with test then and there would mean, I couldn’t go meet Mr. Brown and I didn’t want to do it.

"Uh... How about after the school?" I suggested. I really felt bad but all I could think about was Mr. Brown.

"The test is right after the lunch break." He sounded as if his life was in my hands. I sighed, feeling really bad for him.

How do I inform Mr. Brown that I won't be able to meet him today?

"Noah please…" He grabbed my hands between his both and squeezed them, gently. He really sounded like he needed help. I let out a deep breath.

"Alright." I murmured. I didn’t have a choice but to help him because my conscience wouldn’t let me live this down if I had said no just to be selfish.

"Let's go." He gripped my wrist tightly before he sprinted to god knows where, dragging me along.

“Slow down…” I spoke, fearing if he ran any faster I would have an asthma attack.

He didn’t listen to me of course and kept running in the same speed. I could feel ground beneath my vans change from hard marble to soft grass to gravel path. I let him drag me for what felt like eternity before we came to halt.

"Mateo we could study in the café." I said between my deep and fast breaths. My heart was thumping against my heart. I hoped for no asthma attacks.

"I didn't want anyone to disturb us." I heard him say between his breaths, freeing my arm. We took few seconds to calm down and catch our breaths.

"Where are we?" I asked him, feeling soft ground beneath my feet.

"The park in front of the school." He spoke as I heard him shuffling through his things. I nodded, feeling really tired. I sat down on the grass feeling a shadow hid me from hot sunlight. I guess we were standing near a tree.

"Shit!" I heard Mateo as I was putting my bag aside. I titled my head up knowing that he was still standing tall on his feet.

"What now?" I questioned, frustrated. I really wanted to hurry up and wind him up so I could go to Mr. Brown’s office.

"I forgot to bring my book from the locker. Just wait right here. I'll be back in a second." I heard him speak.

“Dude seriously?!” I was beyond irritated.

“Sorry. I’ll be back before you blink.” I heard him say before he sprinted off again.

I exhaled and lied down on my back on the soft grass. It really was comfortable. I could just doze off there but as soon as I closed my eyes, my mind wandered back to Mar. Brown. I thought about informing him because I knew he must be wondering why I didn’t come.

I sat up and pulled out my phone from the front pocket of my jeans. I dialed the number I had carved in my brain somehow.

"Noah, where are you? You really got me worried." He spoke as soon as he answered the call. I could understand his concern considering I told him I would meet him in his office, last night.

"Don’t worry. I’m with Mateo. He wanted some help. I’m out in the park in front of school." I informed, lying back on the grass. I heard him groan in the phone which made me realize how much he hated Mateo after I ended up in hospital because of him.

"You’re still talking to Wyatt? Noah, I told you that guy is a bad news.” His voice was stern as he was trying to make him understand his voice and I get that. I wouldn’t want him to hang out with Mateo if he was in my place but Mateo apologized and I believe in giving second chances to people.

"But he has changed. He never bullies me anymore." I tried to make him understand me but heard another groan from him.

"No he has not." He was still stern with his voice. I opened my mouth to answer him but heard padding from the head side of my lying position.

"I think he is here, I gotta go." I was about to hang up the phone when I heard Mr. Brown protest.

"No, keep me on the phone. I want to be there with you. I don't trust this guy.” He spoke and his voice told me he wasn’t ready to negotiate so I obliged, putting my phone aside on the grass and sat up. I turned to the direction from where I could hear him breath.

"What took you so long?" I uttered, sitting cross legged though I got no response.

"Oi Mateo, is that you?" I questioned again.

"Pity this cute little princess can't see." I heard an unfamiliar but cold voice that sent shivers down my spine.

"Excuse me who you are?" I furrowed, scared shitless of what to come next. This is why mother was always scared of letting me out of the house. This is why she homeschooled me before.

"Don't worry. I'll take care of you." The man with deep voice spoke again but this time his hand was on my back, rubbing gently. I pushed him away and tried to get up but before I could, he gripped my wrist so tightly that it started hurting. He pulled me up to my feet and started dragging me along him.

"Leave me alone!" I yelled, trying to free myself. But the second I was trying to pry off his hands by pinching his hand, I felt a loud noise of smack and a stinging sensation followed after that noise on my cheek. It took me a second to understand that he slapped me across my face.

"Shut up, hoe!" He spat in disgust and dragged me, now gripping my hair. I yelped in pain, grabbing his hand that was clutching handful of my hair. He took me to I don't know where and then stopped.

"Now, let's have some fun." I heard him as he pushed me against a wall and held me against it.

By now, I was crying with tears coming out of my eyes. I felt his hands on the buckle of my belt, trying to unclasp it. In that moment I knew I had to do something. I pushed him a little just enough to hit him in the groin.

When I heard him yelp, I knew I got him in the right place. I put my legs that felt like jelly into use and run off to somewhere with no sense of direction but I had taken only few strides before I collapsed into something hard, a pole maybe.

"Not so fast…" I heard him again as I could even register what happened. I tried to get up but he approached me first and yanked me up by the collar of my shirt.

"Your blind legs aren’t faster than mine." I could hear the taunt behind his comment.

He again pushed me to a wall this time it was harsher than before. Air knocked out of me when my back hit the cold brick wall. I tried to push him away, tried to knee him again, squirmed but nothing worked as he pushed his knee between my legs.

"Stop please…" I pleaded, crying as my heart was beating so hard. I could feel the beats in my ear. I knew what was to come and it made me feel sick in the stomach.

His hands were struggling to unbuckle my belt as the other was holding both of my hands above my hand, pressed against the wall. My all pleads and begging gone ignored as he was finally successful in unclasping my belt.

I screamed for help but I could tell by how calm he was that no one was there to help me. He had no fear in the world as he was trying to pull down my jeans, taking his time. I wriggled to get out.

“NO!” I shouted, crying so much that I could feel my voice becoming hoarse. He slapped me again on the face and then turned me around with my face pressed against the wall now.

I was totally helpless now as my hand were crossed against my back, in his hold as his other hand tried to pull down my jeans again but before he could do that, I heard a grunt as he was pushed away from me.

I didn’t try to run or do anything because all the energy had been drained out of me. I just slid down the wall and kept sobbing in my hand. The cries were muffled against my hand as I was slipping down the wall.

"DON'T. EVER. TOUCH. HIM. AGAIN!" I heard Mr. Brown's monstrous voice which I had never heard before.

I heard yelps of the assaulter continuously as I realized Mr. Brown was beating the shit out of him. I didn't have energy to move to stop him. The beating sounds got louder and the yelping of man made me shout.

"Stop!" Soon enough the beating sounds stopped, leaving low groans of the man and my own sniffles mixed with Mr. Brown’s raged breaths.

"Let me call the cops." I heard Mr. Brown few seconds later which made me turn my head to the direction of the voice, frantically shaking it.

"No! Let him go, please. I don't want my mum to know about this. She has enough problems of her own." I pleaded because I knew she wouldn’t let me out of house after this. She would be so scared and I didn’t want her to worry about me.

"But-" He tried to argue but I cut him off.

"Please…" I teared down, begging him not to call the cops.

"Hey… Hey... shush... It's alright. I’m not telling anyone." I heard him say as he approached ma and held me. I tried to quieten down my sobs as I nodded.

"You should be ashamed of yourself. I hope you rot in hell." He spoke to the assaulter as he left my side again. I heard another loud yelp of the man, knowing Mr. Brown had hit him again.

"Now run before I destroy your already ugly face!" He said to the person who was grunting in pain. I could hear him run away as a set of foot approached me.

"C'mon let's get you home." I heard the polite tone of Mr. Brown as he tried to pull me up but I shook my head. I was not ready to go home and be alone and god forbid if my mother saw me like this, if she was there.

"I want to go to yours." I sobbed louder than before. He pulled me in his side as I hugged him, muffling my cries in his shoulder. I clutched his shirt, nuzzling my face in his neck.

"Alright, baby. Just stop crying." He placed a kiss on the top of my head. I sniffled and just nuzzled more into him.

"Let me grab my car keys from my office and your stuff from the park. Okay?" He softly spoke as if he was just humming. I pulled back and shook my head.

"No please. Don't leave me alone." I spoke, holding him more tightly.

"Baby, he is gone. I'll be back in a 5 seconds. I can’t take you in school with me." He tried to reason, brushing off my face.

"No..." I started crying again as the fear crawled on my skin again, giving me shivers.

"Okay. Let's get your stuff from the park and get a cab. Is that fine with you?" He asked caressing my cheek with his thumb. I gave a subtle nod and he kissed my temple.

He then pulled me up and held my hand in his. I knew how risky it was to be seen out with him but I think he was willing to risk it for me as he took me back to the park and grabbed my stuff before he called a cab and we headed his home.

"Come on in." He said after opening the door when he reached his house. I just stood there, reconsidering should I go in and spend my time with him alone? Is he trust-able? Who's going to stop him if he tried to do anything? It's his house, he lives here, who is going to stop him in his own house if he hurt me? I was thinking and thinking until-

"Noah…" Mr. Brown caressed my cheek and spoke in his polite and soft voice, bringing me out of the world of my thoughts. I took a deep breath and nodded.

This is Mr. Brown. I have known him since the first day of school. It's been a month now. He never did something that made me uncomfortable. He won't do anything to hurt me. Yes. He won't.

Right?

He led me in the house as I heard the door closing behind me. I gulped trying to keep my tears at bay.

"This way" he said, hand behind my back. I followed his lead. He sat me on a comfortable couch. I could tell his house was huge because it literally took us 2 to 3 minutes just to walk from the front door to the living room. This is the living room. Right?

"Is this your living room?" I asked him. He sat beside me and pulled me to his side. I hesitated for a second but then cuddled him.

"Yes." He answered. His hand again lost in my hairs and started massaging my scalp.

"You live alone?"

"Yes. I do, now" He calmly replied.

"Now?"

"Hmm" he hummed, avoiding answer and then got up. He was hiding something and I didn't have any idea what it could be.

"Would you like to have tea?" He questioned me. I think a cup tea would be good. I nodded.

"Okay let me make it for you. You can tell your mum that you’re not going to be home till night because I’m not letting you go until I’m sure you’re fine." He informed me and I knew he wouldn’t so, I nodded. But…

Should I? Should I lie to my mum that I'm going to be at friend's house after school? Would she able to find me if anything happened to me? No right?

I shrugged off the thoughts and called my mum anyway.

"Hello, cupcake." She said in her usual polite and cheery tone. My eyes filled with tears again after hearing her voice.

O mum you don't know what happened to your cupcake.

I gulped the lump in my throat and wiped my tears off of my face. I didn’t want her to know I was crying.

"Mum I'll be late like pretty late. I’m going to a friend's house." I informed her, trying to keep my voice steady.

"Noah... Bub are you crying?" She asked with voice laced with concern. I sucked a sharp breath and shook my head though I knew she couldn’t see me.

"No, it's just the flu. By the way, I'll be late okay?" I said trying to change the topic.

"Why? I mean I don't like to be a nosy mother but I want you to be safe." She sounded really concerned. I knew she didn’t buy my previous statement.

"Mum don't worry. I'll take care of myself." I tried to assure her.

"Okay baby but give me the address of your friend's house and who is this friend? Keith?" She kept asking.

"No mum. This is someone else and I can't give you address but I'll be careful I promise. Please let me be." I pleaded and heard her sigh.

"Well okay baby. I’m the one who said you should interact with people and now I’m the one who is making it hard for you. I’m sorry. Just take care." She said, giving me the space I needed.

"I will mum. Thank you." I murmured in the phone before hanging it up.

"Here you go." I heard Mr. Brown as he sat beside me. I think he brought the tea. He pulled me closer and I snuggled to his side throwing my arm around his torso.

"You can take rest in the guest room if you want." He spoke, massaging my scalp but I shook my head to decline the offer. I didn't want to leave his side. He was my savior. If he hadn't arrived on time...

I didn't know I was crying until he wiped the tears off of my face.

"Hey..." he pulled me in a hug and I let my tears fall.

"I-I... was... so... s-scared." I manage to say between my sobs. He pulled back and cupped my cheeks.

"You are okay. You are fine. Alright?” He spoke, so softly. His hands were on my face, catching the tears before they could roll down.

"Thank you. Thank you so much for saving me." I broke down again, crying with loud sobs and hanging my head down which he brought up again, ever so gently.

"You don't need to thank me..." He kissed my forehead before pulling my face to his chest and hugging me tightly, yet his touch was soft and tender. He kissed my head multiple times and rubbed circles on my back. I inhaled his scent and it kind of relaxed me a bit.

"Are you sleepy?" He questioned when I closed my eyes, really wanting to sleep off all the stress.

"Mhmm" I hummed.

He lifted me, I wrapped my limbs around him; legs around his torso and arms around his neck. I buried my face in the crook of his neck and inhaled his scent. He smelled like his usual perfume Christian Dior.

"You smell so good." I mumbled in his neck, breathing heavily against his neck. I could tell he shivered a little.

"Is that so?" He asked securing me in his arms and kept walking.

"Hmm." I hummed in his neck again, just to see my effect on him.

"Stop…" He chuckled, tightening his arms around me. I licked his neck burying my face more into it if that was possible.

"Noah…" He said squeezed my ass. I squeaked and thought to stop it.

He stopped and laid me down on the bed. The sheets were silk and they felt so comfortable. I kept feeling the sheets that were like I was lying on the bed of clouds.

"I can tell that you are a rich bastard." I giggled rolling over feeling the sheets.

"Language!" He muttered.

"Seriously?" I huffed in annoyance but still a smile on my face.

"Uh... yeah I kind of, am." He answered to my previous question.

"Oh…" was all I could say.

"How much rich?" I asked getting comfortable in the bed. He sat beside me.

"Pretty rich." He responded tucking me in. I didn't know what to do with this new piece of information.

"Sleep babe. We'll talk later okay?" I nodded.

"What are you going to do?" I asked.

"I have a meeting with someone."

"Meeting?"

"Yes. I'll be downstairs. Just take some rest okay?" He kissed my forehead.

"Is this your bedroom?"

"Yeah. How do you-" I cut him off.

"Sheets smell like you." I smiled. He chuckled and gave me a kiss on my cheek.

"You are adorable." He murmured making me blush. I hid under the duvet.

"Now take rest. I’m serious." He said with a stern voice.

"Alright." I mumbled and closed my eyes.

*******

I opened my eyes and as usual there was no light. Darkness everywhere. Sometimes I wish I could only see the light. I feel scared sometimes. Feels like I am all alone in this world. Feels like people are there but they are distant.

I tried to get up but I couldn't. It was like gravitational force was 100 times. I tried again but failed again.

When I couldn't get up after three more tries tears started brimming in my eyes. I tried to keep them at bay but I couldn't. I started sobbing.

"Let's have some fun…" I heard a familiar voice. I felt a hand on my chest.

"NO!" I shouted and tried to get up but the man held me tightly, pinning me to the ground, throwing all of his weight on me.

"Stop please!" I cried when his hand was on my belt unbuckling it. I was squirming, crying, screaming for help. My voice was hoarse.

Then I saw the same ball of light. It kept shining brighter and brighter that I had to close my eyes. It looked like everything just stopped. I couldn't feel any weight on me or hands on my body.

I slowly opened my eyes and saw the ball of lightness. I smiled at it.

"Thank you." I said with a smiled and teary eyes. The ball came closer and its warmth comforted me.

"You don't have to thank me, Noah."

The same Bradford accent…

"Never leave me alone, please."

"How can I? I’m a part of you Noah. I’m you" He responded. His voice was so soft that I was swooning.

"But you’re Mr. Brown..."

"Am I? Or you just want me to be?"

"Why would I want my ball of light, a part of me to be Mr. Brown?" I asked sitting straight as now my body was free from whatever pull that was.

"You don't know?" He inquired in a tone which meant he had the answer.

"I mean I do like him and I kinda feel like I’m falling for him and I feel safe around him. Does that mean I want him to be a part of me?" I asked looking at the direction of the ball.

"Noah, I’m the hope you have. Hope that you will be happy. Hope that one day someone will love you. Hope that you will find your one and only. Hope that people will love you as you are. Hope that you won't have to be in the darkness forever. Hope that in the end everything is going to be alright. I’m your hope, Noah. Now tell me why you think I’m your teacher?" He made me question myself.

"Because in my mind Mr. Brown gives me hope. Around him I feel like I’ll be alright." I mumbled more to myself, lowering my head.

"There… you got your answer" I heard him.

"He will never leave me, right?" I asked the question, him lifting my head.

"Noah, I don't know more than you do. Remember I’m in your imagination, your hope." I nodded.

"I think I love him." I said looking at the light.

"You think?"

"I’m not sure. Yeah I do feel safe with him. He kinda makes me feel more alive and loved. But the thing is I don't know him. He doesn't share his life with me even though I have shared everything with him and I think he doesn't want us to be more than friends. He is my teacher after all." I tried to reason.

"You both almost kissed. He definitely wants you more than a friend."

"You said you didn't know more than me."

"I don't. It's you who thinks that he wants as you more than friends, deep down you."

"Is this a dream?"

"Of course it is. But it is your dream, Noah."

"I’m not controlling it, right?"

"Of course you are." I stood up when I saw it going far away from me.

"Where are you going?" I asked shouting.

"You are waking up, Noah. I have to go."

"I’ll see you again, right?"

"As long as you don't lose your hope." I heard a distant voice.