1 Chapter 1: Introduction

In all honesty, she didn't really know why they all worked so well together. Especially when all they did was run some little corner store with nothing but four people. This was –honestly- a real fucking miracle. Days came and went as fast as Jesse's cup had "runneth over" as Craig would say. Which meant not at all and their dear friend needed to sit his neurotic ass down for a cold drink-they were preparing for the day he would spontaneously combust in an explosion of self-loathing, disappointment and nerves. Never "if", it was a well-known fact that his timer was ticking down faster than rain in a storm.

A storm that soon evolved into hard hitting hail as people run screaming in the streets, crying out in pain as the sky splits open and the world collapses into full blown terror 'cause the apocalypse started a millennia too early.

Yeah, that boy needs something before his heart explodes. He was the one making sure they weren't bankrupt at the end of the month.

"NONONO!" Speak of the devil.

"Lilo get the gun. We're hitting episode level 6 in isle 8," the beloved janitor simply shuffles past, toting a very broken mop and bucket as he bee lined into the back area.

Lilo rolled her eyes before picking up the requested item and heading out to do some damage control. Stepping into the assigned row, she simply pointed her hand at the offending party and pulled the trigger-soaking a now shocked manager and halting the very possible homicide in progress. She then proceeded to shake her head at her employer before turning to the other offending party-that pesky as hell rot creature that simply WOULDN'T leave. But she could see where her friend was coming from, some of the freezer meat was looking a lot greener than usual and that would put a cramp in his beautiful money plan. He's going to cry a river when he recalculates everything later-she KNEW he would. So she may as well deal with this problem so he didn't have to.

She heaved a sigh before turning to gaze up at the offending creature in question, crossing her arms as she did, gearing up for the lecture of the week. Plastering a smile on her face she turned to the source of her ire-an underling of…Astarath? Asteroth? She'd have to check that with either the catatonic man behind her or the sloth sleeping back at home.

"Hello sir madam or neutral, as we have stated before, demons of rot are only allowed up to a maximum of 10 minutes near the perishables. Also stated before, that we cannot afford for recently bought goods to be thrown away prematurely, as you have just ensured. Please remove yourself from the premises." There, gauntlet thrown and only time will tell if common sense is part of this demon's nature.

Or she'd have to get serious.

"Who the hell do you think you are?!" The creature straightened out its previously hunched posture to tower over-and stare down- the short African plebeian that oh-so dared talk down to them in that impudent ton.

Well- that's what she thought was going through its head, judging from the look she was getting from it.

She raised an eyebrow right back.

It snarled.

She shifted her weight to the other foot, flashing the squirt gun she wasn't afraid to use.

It paused, uncertain. Then tried to cover it up by snarling some more.

"Please remove yourself before I do it for you. As you have definitely realised, our manager does not condone loitering near perishables and action WILL be taken."

It certainly didn't like that.

"Do you not know who I am? WHAT I am? I am kin to the Duke Ashtaroth. Ȇow cwylmian ne fadian yfel canne hwӕđere ӕfnan! I-" Spluttering and steam cut through the glorious speech it theirs.

"What did they just say?" She stuck a fist on her hip.

"You do not dictate what I can and cannot do?" Came the meek reply as Jesse warily eyed the now flailing and burning demon in what could only be called sympathy.

"Really now? Well lemme just show our customer exactly what I CAN dictate," a smirk and a squirt set the creature in motion, fleeing before they were subjected to more torment.

Lilo let out a little laugh-the road runner would've been baffled at that speed. Though it wasn't really running as it was teleporting.

Coward.

Sighing, she turned back around to be greeted by the sight of her still-wet and unhappy manager being towelled off by a bemused janitor. The only real saving grace was that there weren't any other customers to view the scene, as it was sadly the 9 am on a Monday morning-their usual customers off working, sleeping or something else. Ugh, Amara always gets the exciting times. It wasn't fair! The only thing that really got her through the day was the fact that having Jesse and Craig under the same roof was always a concoction for fun-especially when they get their paranormal visitors with their usuals. They probably need to open up a mini clinic for their friend when he needs some sleeping pills for his various bi-hourly naps. On that note-she should get him to go nap right about now. He needed to be fresh for the night shift. So she twirled around to go get him some clean clothes for his nap. Good thing they decided to just stock up every week since the need for the holy water squirt gun became a more integral part of their daily routine. She'd need to take care of that wet spot though, no need to endanger future customers.

Manager dry and holed up in his office, wet floor mopped by a guy chagrined by the fact that he had to do his job and the meat safely disposed of. Life was back in order until the next batch of customers rolled into town. Though when that happens they're more like an avalanche or rockslide-leaving nothing but devastation in their wake. Lilo absolutely hated cleaning up other people's messes. They made it; THEY should clean it up again. The only one who had a get out of jail free card was Jesse-and even then the card was only viable for certain happenings. He still got the squirty gun when it was called for. Disciplining people was one of her more favoured hobbies, besides watching horror movies with the gang on Fridays.

Shuffling back behind the counter she got ready for the lunchtime few, those who came in needing either some nice fruit salads or some of their own home baked pies. Yeah, theirs-Craig's our designated cook since he claimed the kitchen as his own. Apparently he dabbled in a bit of home-ec, strangely enough. If he wasn't with them they'd be living off of 2 minute noodles along with Jesse's odd fixation with beef stroganoff and Amara's love of pasta. Lilo's only saving grace was her grandma's potjiekos-which was great once in a while but too much of a good thing is hazardous to one's health. Craig was the only one with variety in his personal menu, they worshipped him for it. The god of cuisine and healthy eating-Craig the lord of whisks.

The door chimed and she straightened up, fake smile on and attentive aura in place. The first through the door were a couple teens laughing and shoving each other, probably playing hooky. Eyes rolling to the sky, Lilo kept note of all five kids before resting her hands on the table-ready for anything. They shuffled over laughing all the way. All around the ages of 15/16-she could take at least 2 of them with Craig sorting out the other. Two walked up to the table while the other 3 waltz off to explore the isles.

"Heyo! How goes it this fine day?" The designated leader questioned, his cape flats drawl grating somewhat on her nerves. It's like her day was destined to simply drag on like Amara when she has to do something she doesn't like-such as the laundry, for one instance.

"Pretty slow. You all looking for something sweet, savoury, or specific?" Tilt the head, smile wide and remember where you stuck the gun. Ain't nothing getting past her, unless it was invisible. Or really-really fast.

The kid laughed, and quirked his eyebrows casually. Looking around in what he thought would be a casual way, he leant forward in the most suspicious way possible.

"Uhhm, heard that you have what I need in stock. Could you help a friend out?"

"Is it edible, sir?" Lilo leant forward, ready to set things straight if he was going to ask for those god-damnable cookie dough kit-kat bars. They were hers, she laid claim to them when the first box was slid across the floor. Amara moans about the price but that was worth it for the heavenly taste of foreign chocolate.

Even if their manager bought them in bulk at other stores only to re-sell them for at least R5 less-which helped since they sold a lot more because of it. Maybe. She knows they're at least selling more than some other shops.

He would make a really good lawyer, funnily enough. Finding loopholes like a shark finding bleeding prey. He's the terminator version of Ebenezer Scrooge-no prisoners whatsoever. He has to be shouted down-or at least physically restrained until he realises that he can't charge Mandy on 5th R10 for taking all the packets for all the food she needed to cook for her child's Bar Mitzvah. Craig had to carry him back to his office before she made him cry. Again. At least Amara was there to smooth things over and get that woman on her way. Such a people person she is, such a gift to them she is.

"Hey miss?" She snapped back to the current conversation.

"I'm sorry, can you please repeat that?"

He shrugged nervously and shifted his weight to the other foot. Licked his lips and started again.

"I was askin' if you still had any of your fine-ahem-assets in stock? You know what I'm saying," he whispered in a conspiratorial manner. Eyebrows lifted in what she hoped would a questioning manor.

"Do you mean the Oreo chocolates sir?" Eight times out of ten they wanted the new chocolates that just came in. Or were those weirdo's looking for these stupid little figurines that their resident veggie kept pulling out from the abyss to their collective confusion. I swear Amara steals them from kids' bedrooms at night.

"No-wait! You have that too? Eyy Frikkie! They have that oreo chocolate thing, grab us a few!" Analysis correct. Lilo should show her human skills to Craig, give him something to think about for a change. Though he'd probably show her twelve reasons why she was full of herself, made her feel inadequate sometimes.

The guy who she assumed was 'Frikkie', shot him a thumbs-up and shuffled off to the 'Isle of the Sweet Things'. She hoped he wouldn't take them all-they were used to bribe naughty children. Craig then shuffled on by to relieve the cleaning isle of one of its mops, ripping off the price tag and continuing on with his day. R20 that Jess spots the empty space the moment he steps his shiny as fuck shoe out his office door and starts lecturing again. Or just whips out his wallet and pays for it like the neurotic little shit he is.

"Miss? You got any of the good stuff in stock?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Unless he wanted something edible-or was propositioning her-she honestly had no flying clue on what they were supposedly stocking.

Unless they thought this doubled up as an "adult World". Wouldn't be the first or last time that it had happened. Amara said that Jesse's meltdown was absolutely glorious- the manager was practically foaming at the mouth trying to explain to the drugged out woman that "No, there are no 'Sexy Toys' here and to either buy something or leave right now it's 2 am go to bed like a normal human being I beg of you".

Ok so maybe she wasn't that willing to swap places with Amara.