5 SET 5
"I don't know what you're talking about," I lie, though I know my attempts at hiding this is
already a failed attempt.
Jason also knew this, I can tell from the look he is giving me, it involves a quirked
eyebrow and a frown. A pit forms deep in my stomach, my true fear finally settling into reality.
Jason takes a couple of steps forward and kneels down near my level.
"I can't abandon him though! He's all I have left. I had a family, and they all died because
of me! It's all my fault. I'm going to lose him and it's all my fault," I sob into my hands as Jason
does an awkward shuffle forward again, taking me in his arms. He feels warm compared to me,
am I always cold? My mind feels more scrambled than eggs. Could I really be losing Danny?
"It's okay, Mum. It'll all be okay," Jasen's voice whispers, barely audible above my sobs.
His voice bounces through my head from one ear to the other. I take a few seconds to control
myself and look up at him.
"What... What did you call me?" Jasen lets go of me and sits on the bed, not looking at
me.
"I don't have anyone either, well, didn't. I now have you, I know it sounds weird but.. You
remind me of her. My mother, I mean, she was quite like you. And... I miss her..." His voice is
emotionless as he takes my hand, "When the apocalypse started, my family thought they were
going to outrun it. We packed up a lot of our stuff in the minivan and we left. We were going to
leave Michigan before they closed the borders. We barely made it out of town when my dad
swerved to avoid a doe. He yanked the steering wheel so hard that the van rolled. The van hit a
tree and some of the branches went through the windows. Impaled everyone except me,"
143
"Why only you?" I interject, my eyes on his face. Suddenly, my worries and fears
dissolve, the story he is telling takes a grip within me. He looks at me and tries to smirk like it
would lighten the mood.
"I wasn't wearing my seatbelt. If I was, I'd be dead too. I got out of the car and climbed
the tree. I watched for a day or so, then I saw someone out in the distance on the road. Instead
of calling out to them, I just watched. He was my neighbor, and notice I said was, because by
the time he got there, to the car I mean, I realized that he had changed, he was one of them. I
watched him feed on my family, watched as my little sister was taken out of the car and thrown
on the ground, deader than a doorknob and that's when I realized I had to conform. I waited
until he left and then I covered myself in their blood and rotting guts and pretended like I was
one of the zombies," He pauses, glances back at the sleeping boy on the bed before abruptly
changing the subject, "Danny here, he and I were best friends, before I got transferred to
another foster family. He probably doesn't recognize me, especially now... But I knew him from
the moment you guys were in the woods. How did a man like him get a girl like you, Mum?" I
smile at Jasen warmly. Perhaps him calling me 'mum' was a bit odd, but if it helped him in any
way, I don't mind it.
"Very carefully, hun, very carefully," Danny rolls over in his sleep and we both look at
him.
"Pack up, I'll lead you guys to a fully deserted town not far off and out of the path of the
clan," He glances back at Danny and with a sad voice continues, "And try to cure him if you can,
like Ashton did. I'll send him here in a little bit. Giving enough time to avoid raising suspicions,
okay, Mum?" I nod and he gets up to leave. Then he turns back around and says with the first
hint of true emotion I've ever heard from him, "And if he turns into one of them, don't let him eat
you, Mum," He slips a bloodied shard of glass into my palm before walking out, barely exposing
144
a scarred wrist as he shut the door. I look at Danny, then at the shard in my palm. I sit next to
him, pulling him onto his side, leaving the cut facing up. I take a deep breath and moves my
thick bracelet on my left wrist. I look up from the scar across the inside of my wrist and stare at
the wall in front of me, not wanting to remember as the flashback floods my vision, my grip
tightening on the glass, the pain from the cut is blotted out and the remembrance of the pain.
[Vivid flashback here, she was upset about something and cut, but add all
the stuff you want]
The door opens, sharply pulling me out of my flashback as I turn around to look at
Ashton who has just shut and locked the door behind him. As he turns back around to look at
me, I hear a sharp intake of breath before his voice shrills at me.
"Kaitlyn! You're b-bleeding!" He rushes to my hand. I see the blood pouring from it for the
first time and open my hand, dropping the shard onto the ground, it shattering into tiny pieces
that spread across the floor. His eyes then slide over to Danny and the slice and burnt flesh. He
digs in his pockets and pulls out a plastic sandwich bag with a melting ice cube in it and a nine
volt battery. I watch as he opens up the bag and gently pulls the ice cube out. He let's the bag
drop to the floor and takes my hand, the battery still tucked in his palm. He sets the ice on my
bleeding palm, the cut stinging as I try to pull my hand back. His tight grip keeps my hand in
place and the stern look tells me to shut up and take the pain. He then slips the battery out from
his hand and presses it to the cut, an electric shot rushing through my body, turning the blood a
dark blue, almost black, color.
"Woah," he breathes, staring at the blood.
"What?" I ask worriedly.
145
"N-nothing, it's j-just that it's d-darker than mine was," He looks up at me, my eyes
locking on his as he fiddles in his pocket. He leans forward, pressing his lips to mine. I barely
notice him pulling out his knife and flicking the blade open as my eyes start to close.
An unearthly scream comes deep from Danny's throat. My eyes shoot open and I look at
Danny. Ashton is cutting open the wound, a new flow of dark and unhealthy looking blood flows
from the wound in a slow, sticky way, like the artificially flavored maple syrup at home. Ashton
flings the knife to the ground and swats the ice cube from my palm before pressing my palm to
the freshly opened wound. I bite my tongue against the pain, trying to ignore it like I have so
many times before. When he let's go of my hand and I finally pull it away, the cut is starting to
heal back up and Danny's face starts to look less pale. I wipe my bloody hand on my ruined
shirt and look at my palm, healed with just a scar to remember it as I already start to forget the
pain as relief floods through me.
"Hopefully, with any amount of luck, he'll be fine. Let's just hope the virus didn't spread
too far to reverse. Go pack, I'll get his stuff ready then flag Jasen down. As soon as you two are
settled in, I'm heading to Jeff's. But, I have a request," he pauses and looks at me, "before we
part, can I have a blood sample? If this cures him, I might be able to save that Sadie girl," I nod
and stand up. I walk to my room, pacing around it for a while before actually packing my stuff,
making sure to change my clothes, leaving the ruined ones in the corner of the room behind the
door. I sit on my bed, sure that it's probably infested with bedbugs and others of the sort. I lie
back and stare up at the ceiling, contemplating, thinking, deciding. I stand up, hauling my pack
onto my shoulders, and go back to Danny's room. I open the door to find it empty, no Ashton,
Danny, nor any of his things. I look back and forth for a second and step into the hallways,
clearing confusion. Someone grabs my elbow and pulls me forward. I recognize the back of
Jasen's head. He pulls me into a public shower room and pushes me against the door. He leans
down close to my face, almost doubling over from the height difference. I think he's going to kiss
146
me and I curse myself for trusting him. His lips move past mine and to my ear, a steel hard
whisper shoots into it.
"Grab Danny and run, I'll get Ashton, but you don't want to be inside when the
punishment is given," He pulls away to stare at me, "Got it?" I nod as a man shuffles out of one
of the shower stalls, only a towel wrapped around him. Jasen rolls his eyes, kissing me deeply
and running his hands over my waist and hips as I try to push him off.
"Stupid teenagers," the man mutters and shuffles back in his stall. Jasen tears away
from me and pulls me back into the hallway.
"What was that?" I hiss.
"Avoiding questions," He glances at me, his eyes showing slight regret, but knowing to
stop talking. We come into a large and open room, like an abandoned conference room. There,
standing in the middle are three boys. Instantly recognizing two of them, I stare at the other boy,
wondering who Ashton was arguing with. The other boy points at Danny and says something
demeaning. I step forward and Jasen slaps my back. As I whip around, he shakes his head,
then tosses it in the direction of Danny. I nod and walk over to Danny.
"Ashton, it's my birthday, I'm not giving you any of my new morphine,"
"But, Parker, I just need a little of it. To get myself off of it," Ashton is near on his knees
begging. Parker sees me as I grab Danny's hand. He is conscious, but I wouldn't describe him
as awake. His attention is off of the topic of the morphine and immediately onto me.
"Who's this hottie? She yours? I'll give you some if I can get a slice of her," Danny growls
next to me and Ashton does the last thing I'd expect from him. He swings at the boy named
Parker, connecting a solid blow to his jaw. I pull Danny back to the door I came from, him
147
stumbling behind me. Jasen tells me some directions before we disappear from their view. I
glance back to see Jasen breaking up a full out fist fight. I pull Danny down the hallway, a few
turns here and there then we are at the stairwell. I pull him down a few before he trips, pushing
me down with him as we tumble down an entire flight of stairs. I sit there for a moment, trying to
get my head to stop spinning, a painful throb on the side of my head. I squeeze my eyes shut
against the dizzying thoughts, trying to shut out the pain. Everything hurts and I can feel my
palm throbbing. I open my eyes and touch the side of my head. My hand is covered in blood
when I look at it, though, my palm is cut open again so I'm not sure where the blood is coming
from. I look over to see Danny lying still, a small amount of blood pooling on the floor around
him. Maybe it's just wishful thinking, but his blood seems healthier. I blink, pulling my lids open
with such effort. Jasen and Ashton race down the steps towards us as my vision swims and my
lids float back down.
[flashback]
I wake up, staring into Ashton's eyes, one of them puffy, his glasses frames nonexistent.
"She's awake," He hisses to Jasen who is crouched down and peering around a corner.
"Good, can she walk? We can fake one sleeping person, but not two," He whispers and
looks back at my. Ashton helps me stand up and I stumble towards Jasen, who sighs and
shakes his head, "She'll be fine enough. She took quite a trip down those stairs, though," he
turns back to peeking around the corner. I peek around it as well. A small, but heavily armed,
party of three or four approach the gate. They wait momentarily as the gate slides open. Jasen
turns to us, "You guys decided to do this on a busy day. We are more likely to be seen this way,
but we can blur some lines if we get caught. When I tell you to, Ashton and I are going to pick
Danny and half carry, half drag him to the gate. If anyone asks questions, let me do the talking,"
Not knowing how skilled of a liar Jasen is, I make him run his lines.
148
"What'll be your excuse?" He looks at me and shakes his head as if disappointed in my
doubt.
"That Danny and Parker got into a fight so we might as well throw the whole party out,
but because it's Parker's birthday, he gets a pass this time. You act like I've never done this
before,"
"Have you?" Ashton pipes up. Jasen just rolls his eyes and nods. He looks back around
the corner and walks over to Danny.
"Okay, pretend to look fearful and upset," he tells me as he scoops Danny up and
Ashton puts Danny's other arm around his shoulder. We start walking to the gate as another
group of people carrying bundles in their arms are doing the same. They get there before us
and the gatekeeper lets them through without an explanation. We approach just as the gate
slides shut, "Let us through,"
"Why, Jasen? Do you have orders from Issac?"
"This one got in a fight with Parker and Little Miss Troublemaker is going with him,"
"Oh, this little one. I remember her," His hand goes up to tip my chin up, but Jasen's
voice growls out.
"Touch her and we'll need a new gatekeeper," He puts his hand down and opens the
gate, thoroughly scared. We hurry out just in time to see the first group to come back, dragging
a handful of zombies with them. They tie them to the fireworks that the other's set up as our little
group hurries away from the commotion. We pass the same roads and buildings we passed
before, but they look scarier now. Danny wakes up enough to walk on his own and form simple
sentences of sign language. I grab Danny's hand and he looks at me, the once dead looking
149
eyes start to get their normal glow back and he kisses me softly. Ashton rolls his eyes from the
corner of my eye and I close my eyes against his scornful look. We hurry through the city as
dark begins to fall. Jasen looks at us, Danny almost back to normal, but ready to collapse,
Ashton with dark circles under his eyes and getting antsy without any drugs in his system, me
wide eyed and jumpy.
"We need to rest. I know a place, okay? We might even be able to see the firework
show," He says and leads us to a small skyscraper with the windows boarded shut. He gently
taps on the brace that keeps the revolving door unmovable, "Bulletproof," he whispers, gently
taking the brace off and ushering us in. The door rotates as we push it to go in, a slight
swooshing noise as it turns. Jason is the last to come in, barely enough light filtering through the
bulletproof glass of the door for him to count heads and make sure we are all here. He braces
up the inside of the door, as I'm sure he's done plenty of times before. He bends down and digs
into his pocket. I watch in curiosity as a single spark from his hands turns into a burning oil
lamp. In his hands is the lighter on Danny's bed and I try to stop myself from glaring at Jasen.
He looks up at me, then at Danny, and back at me, shaking his head ever so slightly as if to say
"not now". He stands up, carrying the oil lamp and leading us up the stairs. I follow, pulling
Danny a little as Ashton brings up the back. We go to the top floor, a makeshift crash pad in the
pent house styled room. Mattresses, pillows, and blankets scattered across the floor in the
biggest bed ever. Ashton drops his pack on the ground out of the walkway and runs around on
the college like bed, talking about making blanket forts and watching movies, like a little kid. I
drop my pack beside him and help the exhausted Danny take his off too. I bend down to untie
his shoes and he grabs my hair, trying to gently pull me back up. I look at him confused and
slightly frustrated.
"I can do it. I'm not helpless," I shrug and bend down again, untying his shoes before he
can stop me. He steps out of his shoes and onto the bed. I take my shoes off and join him as
150
Ashton looks at us and decides to take his off too. I lead Danny to a small pile of blankets and
make a nest out of them. I get him to lay down and he snuggles into me as I watch Jasen creep
to the roof for some alone time. I wait until I hear Danny's breathing slow before easing myself
out from under him. I look over to see Ashton drowsily humming, his upper half slowly swaying
from side to side as he sits near the window, looking out over the bleek and sad city. I quietly
creep to the ladder that leads to the roof. With another glance back at the two boys, I climb up,
emerging into the open night. I look around and almost instantly spot Jasen. I walk over to his
still and silhouetted form. The relaxed and kicked back pose of Jasen resting in a broken lawn
chair is strangely unsettling. He lifts his head up and looks at me. His voice is quiet as he
speaks, but it sounds loud in the surrounding silence.
"I was waiting for you to come out. How are the boys?" He gestures for me to sit down
beside his chair. I smile as he puts his arm back on the broken armrest, half of it missing, his
hand dangling off the end.
"Danny is asleep and Ashton is close,"
"They are good boys, you know. Both have the hots for you," a smile flits across his face
and he points his hand towards the sky to hide it. I lean back and look at it. You can see more
stars here than you can in the country, "It's surprising how many of them you can see when the
city doesn't have light pollution. When all the lights are off and there's no cars, you can see all
the stars and actually hear yourself think,"
"Yeah, Sadie would've loved this," my mind starts to drift, wondering where she was right
now, if he was any better, how annoyed Jeff was. [Flashback about life with Sadie. This could
be where she tells them about her parents]
Jasen's hand yanking back and forth on my shoulder pulls me out of the memory.
151
"The fireworks are starting. They just shot off the flares," Jasen says excitedly. I look at
him confused before hearing the shriek of a firework as it shoots into the air. I look just in time to
see the blast of a colorful explosion as the firework bursts and lights up the sky. I smile slightly,
not remembering the last time I had seen fireworks in person. Half a dozen shoot off in quick
succession before the world goes silent yet again. We sit in the still air for a few more minutes.
Then Jasen turns to me.
"Mum?" His whispered voice holds many of the secrets that aren't meant for sharing.
"Seeing Danny again, and him being as happy as he is, it makes me happier than
anything, but..." his voice drifts off. Though looking like he should be fighting back tears, his
eyes are blank and he looks very dead inside.
"Go on, say it," not sure if that was my voice with the steel-hard growl, so I choose not to
say anything else.
"I've spent enough time around the zombies to know that zombies don't eat
zombies. And he isn't one yet, but he is close. There's a reason why we made it here
without any contact. He smells like them, Mum. Your blood only prolongs his life for
another week or two. Soon, you are going to have to..." he turns away from me before
quietly barking orders, "Go back down and get some rest. We leave at dawn. The good
thing about staying in the concentration camp is that every time a birthday is widely
known, zombies are tied to the fireworks and blown up. The scent of zombie blood
repels other zombies and masks the smell of the living. But the bad thing about being
out of it after such an event is that all the zombies are pushed further into the city. All
their senses are dulled at dawn. Goodnight, Mum," He turns over in his chair, signifying
the end of the conversation. I stand up, and with one last look at Jasen, the
'concentration camp's' building, and the starry sky, I go back down into the penthouse
152
where both boys are now sleeping on the assembled bed. I creep over to Danny and lay
down beside him. His arms instantly wrap around me and his warm breath tickles the
hairs on my neck. I scoot closer to him and close my eyes, quickly falling asleep into a
field of memory-filled nightmares. [Danny takes my hand and pulls me to a puddle and
pushes my head to look down at my reflection. My hair is tied in knots in some places
and ripped out in others. My face is scratched up, deep claw marks in my cheeks, the
dried blood still sitting on my face. My eyes are bloodshot, and my front tooth is missing.
Worst of all is the chunks of my ears missing. I look up at Danny as he pulls me ahead,
Ashton pushing slightly from the back. I am rushed forward as I look at both of the boys
now on either side of me. We catch up with Jasen and he pulls up into an alley way. He
looks at Danny and which makes him shrug. I scrunch up my nose and take a deep
breath, forcing myself to keep quiet.
"What the h-" I start to ask the boys around me.
"You did it in your sleep. You were yelling and killing yourself. We held you down
as you yelled obscenities at us. Ask them what you said. I'm not going to talk about it,"
Jasen storms off, looking more hurt than mad. I look at Danny who stares through me
and then Ashton who looks at his feet. I huff and march on, the boys in tow. They are
mad at me for something I did when I was unconscious.Nightmare idea?.]
I'm startled awake by the last dream and for a second, I'm back in that room.
After looking around, I remember where I am and snuggle back down, but not before
noticing the lump of blankets not far from us that is Jasen. He mumbles an insult and
violently rolls over in his sleep, throwing his blanket back over his shivering body before
snuggling back into a tight ball and quietly growling. Poor Jasen. Can't admit that he has
153
some mental problems. Well, I should be the one to talk, I've always been like this. I
close my eyes and go back to sleep.
Jasen's harsh whisper in my ear wakes me. I open my eyes to his bare chest in
my face. His abs show in the dim light and he whispers again. I mumble a response
through a dry mouth. He backs away and nods once before going to wake Ashton.
Assuming it's my job to wake Danny, I roll over to an empty space behind me. On my
feet in an instant, I frantically look around. I spot him as he stands up by our packs and
shoes. He gestures me over as Ashton finally stirs, complaining loudly about missing the
best part of his dream. I creep over to Danny and he greets me with a kiss. Then his lips
touch my cheek, then the base of my neck. As his hands slip around my waist and slide
lower, his lips move to my ear.
"I don't want to lose you, but we both know that it's going to happen soon. I want
you to keep trying to survive, keep going. When I go, I want you to find someone else to
love. Be with Ashton if you want. Go back to Jeff's house, bring that childish touch back
to his house. And if you bury me, make sure I look good. Find some makeup and clean
clothes," he whispers then kisses my ear.
"But, Babe, I-" he cuts me off.
"Kaitlyn, this is not up for discussion. I really need you to go on and tell your
children about me and teach them how to be men," a sad smile spreads across his face
and he pulls me close to him. I wrap my arms around him and try to keep my breathing
even. I'm closer to losing it than I have been in a long time, but my eyes don't even
water. Jasen steps behind me and clears his throat. Danny and I slide apart and I bend
down to put my shoes on. Although I appear not to be paying attention, every word
Jasen and Danny whisper back and forth is picked up by my ears, clear as day.
154
"Did you tell her?" Jasen is barely audible.
"I did, and she tried to fight back,"
"Of course she did, she loves you and only you, you pretty much just told her that
she is going to have to get over losing her world,"
"Her world?" Danny's voice temporarily lost its luster and he sounds lost. Jasen
pretends not to notice.
"I see the way she looks at you, the way she holds you, you are probably the only
reason she's still here," Ashton steps up and the conversation is instantly over. I take a
deep breath and stand up. Danny is gazing at me like I'm the first girl he has ever seen.
"What?" I squirm under his gaze.
"You are the beautifulest girl I've ever seen," I smile slightly.
"And I've never seen a better looking guy in my entire life," Ashton coughs behind
me and I glance back at him.
"Kaitlyn, can I have the blood sample now?" I squeeze my eyes closed and take
a deep breath, knowing what happened last time I had seen a needle. I turn around and
shove my arm at him. He looks at me startled and takes a needle out of his back pocket,
"I took half of this last night and half this morning. I wiped it off. I'm going to have
withdrawals, but by the time I get to Jeff's, I'll be clean," he slowly brings the needle to
my arm. Before the needle even touches my arm, Danny is by my side growling at
Ashton. Ashton's eyes go wide and he takes a step back. I look at Danny and quietly
whisper to him.
155
"Shh, it's okay. Ashton is okay. He's not going to hurt me on purpose," I turn to
Ashton, "Give me the syringe, Ashton." He looks scared as he hands it over. I stare him
dead in the eye as I shove the needle into my arm. I feel Danny's hand slip around my
bicep and squeezes tightly. I depress the stopper and watch the Ruby blood fill the body
of the syringe. I pull it out and a small drop of blood forms where the needle was pulled
out. I pass it over to Ashton and turn towards Danny. He's staring at me with sad puppy
dog eyes. Jasen comes up behind Ashton and clears his throat. Danny nods at Jasen
and scoops his pack up. I bend down to pick up mine and notice Danny adjusting his
gun. As I stand up, I notice the others checking their guns too, in a half ways nervous
way. I try to hold it in, but my thoughts blurt out of my mouth before I can stop them.
"What? You guys are acting scared. I thought you guys are supposed to be the
manly ones." I could sense the tension in the air and knew that they were scared. They
felt something in the air that was warnings for the future. When I slow down enough to let
the outside world set on me, I feel it too. I take a deep breath and look outside, trying to
keep all the stress and emotions from pouring out. Jasen looks straight at me and talks
out loud to the silent group in his normal monotone voice.
"It's dawn. We should be heading out. Danny and I will take turns scouting ahead
while the other watches over you two," His gaze drops and I look around at the others,
no one meeting my eyes. We all have donned our packs, besides Jasen, who instead
carries nothing more than an assortment of ammo and weapons, including his two
handed sword he used when we met him. Then it dawns on me.
"The demon class zombie. They are evolving, huh?" Without an answer, Jasen
pushes past me. I look at both the others, but they follow Jasen silently. It's like they all
hold a secret from me. I take one more look outside before turning around and following
156
the boys down stairs. We go out of the door and brace it back up. Jasen sets off and we
follow, weapons ready if needed, but not drawn. The silence gnaws at me and I mutter
under my breath about how they treat me like a stranger. Danny and Ashton glance at
me, but I keep my head down. What is the matter with these guys? They act like I'm
hiding something. Maybe it's them that's hiding something. I make sure to keep my voice
as quiet as it gets so only Danny can hear me.
"Danny, why is everyone acting so weird?" he looks at me and then pulls me
aside to whisper in my ear as Ashton keeps walking, pretending not to notice.
"Everything is... Emotionally open, all of us are fighting battles. I'm not just talking
about the zombies, I'm talk about everything. We are fighting the world, but also," he
sighs, "ourselves too. Our battles start with you Kaitlyn,"
"Me? What are you talking about?"
"We all care about you so much, seeing you like that really... Messed us up."
"Danny, what on earth are you talking about? You aren't making much sense
right now. See me like what?"
"Last night you had another nightmare, you seemed so hurt. We all woke up to
see you, you kept crying out and thrashing around, saying 'no, not again' and 'please
stop' It was hard for us to watch you like that, but we couldn't do anything about it so we
eventually fell back asleep."
I stay silent for a moment, letting what he said float and repeat in my mind. I was doing
all that? I didn't even wake myself up? I must be so used to them that I just don't wake up
anymore. Danny grips my shoulders softly as if I'll break and pecks my cheek. After a few
157
seconds of being held, I step away from him, feeling overwhelmed. He doesn't look hurt, so I
know he understands me. We both start walking back up with the other two and continue our
walk. I keep walking, cautious as I walk up to Jasen and Ashton. Jasen is waiting up ahead a
little farther than Ashton, like a scout. I stay silent, immersed in my thoughts as we rest for a few
minutes. When we meet back up with Jasen, Danny then takes the lead and scouts ahead as
we sneak through alleyways, the sun is now fully risen. I watch as he easily jogs even while
carrying his pack and weapons. Ashton sees my smile and looks away, slightly jealous. Us
three keep walking, watching as Danny slows down and turns a corner. As we sneak past a
shadowy side alleyway, a trashcan thuds to the ground. Ashton reaches for his pistol and gets
ready to aim and shoot. I can hear the soft click, meaning he took it off safety. I carefully but
quickly pull out my karambit and hold it up with a knuckle white grip. Jasen just freezes, not
tense, not arming himself, just still. We all watch and wait. A rat scurries out of it and away from
us. Though we all relax slightly, we stay still, waiting momentarily to make sure it's okay.
Seconds pass slowly and Jasen finally takes another slow step. Then another. He takes one
last look down the alley before it's out of his sight. He starts walking again and I go to follow just
as a gnarled and bloody hand smacks down on the rodent, making it squeal as it squirms in its
captor's hand. As the face and body of what used to be an old man reveals himself, so did the
zombie's motive. The frail zombie is scrawny and starving as he raises the mouse to its lips. The
rat's scream gets louder, awaking something inside of a closed dumpster. The lid thuds open
and two zombies covered in trash and rotting food crawl out. The zombies scrap over the rat as
Ashton and I attempt to creep away. In the zombies' scrap, another trash can gets pushed over
and a glass bottle rolls towards us temporarily causing them to freeze up and watch the bottle.
The bottle stops at Ashton's feet. Our eyes follow it up until the point it stopped and we both look
up at the zombies in front of us. The zombies in front of us are staring at us. Seconds stretch by,
the living staring at the sort of living. The rat is now silent, its blood dripping on the zombies as it
sits limp in the tight fisted grasp. I slowly but barely move my arm and grabs Ashton's hand, his
158
fingers make my skin tingle as they slowly brush over the back of my hand. I squeeze his hand
once, slowly but firmly. He squeezes back. I look into his eyes and he winks, quickly and
unnoticeable. I slow my breath down, and Ashton matches it. One simultaneous breath, two,
three and we dart down the alley, the zombies clambering after us. We skid as we turn the
corner. Jasen and Danny are waiting up ahead. They look up as we approach, looking irritated.
Then Jasen's eyes see our followers as Danny's eyes connect with our clasped hands. Danny
looks betrayed. They stay in place as we get closer, step by step and I do the worst possible
thing.
"Run!" My voice rings out through the alley, echoing up and down it. Each side
alley we pass starts to rustle and awaken with starving zombies, ready fight over us. We
keep running as the zombies crowd behind us in a moaning riot, the side allies get
louder as the zombies get closer. Danny and Jasen turn and run, making the distance
between us stretch again. Watching ahead of us, I see the worst possible thing. Zombies
come out of an alley in between the boys ahead of us and run towards us. A split second
decision is made and I reach a fire escape for one of the buildings. I climb the ladder as
quickly as I can, Ashton on my heels. We climb up the fire escapes as far as we can until
it's blocked. I look at Ashton and he does something I'd have never expected from him.
He takes his pack and slings it through the window, metal thermos first. The glass
shatters in his pack goes sliding in the nicely furnished apartment. He reaches his arm
through and unlocks it, cutting his arm slightly on the glass shards still in the frame. He
pulls his arm out and pushes the window open. I crawl in first and dig through my pack
as he climbs in after me.
"What are you doing? They are after us and they probably heard the window if
there are any in here," Ashton's frightened whisper triggers me as a flashback tries to
push through. I squeeze my eyes shut for a millisecond. Now is n
ot the time.
159
"The scent of blood will attract them more than any sound," I pull out my bandage
wrap and quickly wrap his arm up, then I pour a little bit of my water on it to dilute it,
covering the smell of blood, "Come on, we have to find the others," I stand up, heaving
my pack on and look around, "but first, I have to pee," I explore the rooms long enough
to find a toilet. Quickly using it and returning to the room, I see Ashton is nowhere in
sight, "Ash?" A clang comes from one of the bedrooms. I whip my gun out, ready to
shoot. Stop, it's just Ashton. I push open the door that's holding the noise and look
around at the little girls room inside. The pink walls reflect the morning sun through the
thin white curtain hanging in the window. I step through the doorway and suddenly, a
bloody little hand shoots out from under the bed. I watch in fear as a little girl, no older
than four, crawls out from under the bed. Her blonde hair is tangled with a mix of paint,
glitter, blood, and knots. Covered in blood and a few clumps of skin, she gets closer, a
purplish, dismantled hand hanging out of her mouth by the index finger. A deep sense of
panic runs through me like a jet stream. I squeeze my eyes shut, wasting precious time.
It's not a girl, it's a zombie. You are putting her out of her misery. A misery y ou caused!
Kill her before she kills you. What if she was after Danny? Better yet, how would Danny
feel if he didn't protect you and you died from this? Just shoot the zombie! With that I
open my eyes, aim, and shoot her between her eyes. The gun shot echos twice then I
realize that it's Ashton's gun firing too. I race down the hall and Ashton meets me in the
middle, zipping his pack up along the way and slinging it on. He has a blood spatter on
his shirt and a bit on his hands, I can only assume that he just bumped into the
zombified parents of the little girl.
"We need to get out of here now," Ashton says as he whips around to look
behind him.
160
We race to the door ahead of us and unlock it. Pulling it open and looking down
the hall, we see a couple of zombies gaiting towards us. A door opens and more come
spilling out. We bolt down the hall and I push an elevator button, hopefully it still works.
And if it doesn't... S
econds crawl by, seconds that are precious, but the doors magically
slide open. We squeeze through them and repeatedly push the close button before the
elevator can properly work. A zombie arrives just as the doors are sliding closed and it's
discolored fingers get wedged between them. They close fully and the fingers stop
moving. An inhuman scream of pain sounds outside the elevator and I look at Ashton.
"Up or down?" My voice is calm, careless even. Ashton looks at me as if I was
absurd, "Choose!" My command is quiet but firm and he panics.
He presses the next floor up but then he clicks the button for the basement. He
looks at me with wide eyes. As the elevator starts to slowly grind its way up, a ripping
sound comes from the doors. We watch as the fingers move slightly before a screech of
pain overtakes the calming, though mostly skipping, elevator music as the fingers are
ripped off the zombie. I look back at Ashton as the elevator doors clang open. He looks
at me as he pushes the button to close them. I lean forward and press the button to the
lobby. The screech has stopped and we settle into the droning elevator music as the
elevator slowly creeps down. I look around the elevator, the walls are a grungy yellow
made of tin with a cream colored cushion wrapping around the middle, separating the
top from the bottom. He glances at me a few times before speaking.
"Kaitlyn, I'm going to Jeff's, are you sure you want to be alone? I mean, now that
you have personally seen the amount of hordes in the city." I look at him.
"I'm not staying in the city. And I won't be alone. I'll have Danny," my steady voice
doesn't match my quaking insides.
161
"Yes, but for how long?" He steps closer to me and puts his hand on my
shoulder. I shrug him off and turn away, forcing the welling tears to subside, "Kaitlyn,
please come with me. We can make it there in a few days. Danny has changed, can't
you tell? And Jasen knows how to live solo. We can live out our days at Jeff's," I turn
back towards him.
"That's what you want, huh? You want me to abandon my boyfriend so you can
have me all to yourself. Well, I'm not leaving him to think I died nor am I ever going to
leave him without a goodbye," my voice is strained as I stare daggers at him.
"I'm not thinking about your boyfriend, Kaitlyn. I'm thinking about what is best for
you. How long do you think you have until your time is up? This wild adventure will end
up getting you slaughtered. Don't you understand? Jeff's place is safe! Jeff likes us. He
probably is worried sick about you!"
"Jeff? Worried? Yeah right," The elevator creeks slightly, making my heart thump
louder, but then it subdues when nothing happens. "Jeff is probably taking in a new set
of helpless kids or something."
"Stop making excuses. Don't you remember how it felt to feel safe for once? How
it felt to know that zombies wouldn't rip you apart in your sleep? I sure miss it..." Ashtons
tone quiets, his face pained. "I don't want to see you suffer, watching him die from the
inside out. Danny won't be your Danny much longer. Sure, we may have stopped the
infection, but you know that he is still turning. He'll end up a zombie. We only slowed
down the spread. There's no stopping it. We can't save him from dying, and I think deep
down you know that."
162
That's when I lose it. A blur of red dances across my vision, an angry wave of
emotion crashing over me as hot tears stream down my face. How dare he assume that
Danny will die? How dare he think he knows best for me? How dare he. Ashton knows
nothing of the bond that Danny and I have. We will get through this forever and always.
Mindlessly I whip out my karambait and swing it. Ashton dodges it narrowly, but he
knocks his head on the metal siding.
"Kaitlyn, what are you doing?!" He stands in the corner of the elevator, but it
wasn't big enough for him to dodge me forever.
I can't think, I can't breathe, I can't feel anything but... Hate. My body moves to
strike again, slashing out at Ashton's gut. He moves quicker than I thought he would, he
blocks my hand to the side making the karambit stab into the cushion of the elevator. He
dodges under me and steps in front of the door. The hate flowing through me makes it
so hard to think straight, I lunge at him again. The doors open behind him and he steps
back, but not in time to escape my lunge. My knife slices through his shirt as we fall. He
jams his feet into my ribs and uses my momentum to throw me over him. We both stand
again and he whips out his gun, clicking the safety off.
"Kaitlyn, stop! I won't let you kill me over this, I will shoot. Please don't make me
do this to you." I stop swinging, my hand posed above my head, ready to stab him.
"Danny is mine! I actually love him! I love him more than you ever could! Just let
me go be with my boyfriend and I won't say anything about yours, Mother!" I stop short,
my words choked in my throat.
I look around frantically and for a split second I'm back in my old room. My
childhood room. I blink quickly, trying to get rid of the visions before they make me
163
incapable of seeing anything else. But still, the flashback floods me, the whirling images
even more dangerous than the gun pointed at me.
I sneak in through my window, quietly as I can. I had just gotten
suspended from school. They tried calling my house, but the phone had
been turned off. I start shoving my few things into my mother's suitcase. We
haven't been on a vacation in about a decade and she hasn't used it in
that long. I zip the bag, double checking everything and making sure to
scribble the note and leave it on my pillow. I open my door just as the front
door opens. I step up to the balcony, knowing it's too early for someone to
be coming home and too late for Mother to be leaving for work or Bingo.
Mother enters followed by a handsome looking guy about twenty three
years old. The door shuts and the boy is on Mother's lips before I know
what's going on. I had always had suspicions about Mr. Old Man's and
Mother's marriage. I used to wonder about why they were never Dad and
Mom to me, but I had never really seen them as my parents. Mother takes
her jacket off as the guy pushes her onto the couch.
"Mother!" My voice rings out through the house and they both look
up at me.
"Kaitlyn! Why are you not at school?" She pushes the guy off of her. I
pull her suitcase behind me as I go down the stairs, the wheels making it
move easily though it clunks down every stair and jerks my arm. I pass
every picture, every family picture where my parents appear to be happily
married, glaring at the cheating woman in front of me.
"How many of us aren't The Old Man's?" My voice is tight.
164
"What?" The confusion in her voice is definite. I speak up at her.
"How many children aren't your husband's?" Her face gets a smirk.
"Well, you definitely aren't. I'm not even sure that you're mine," I step
onto the floor and pull the suitcase behind me to the door, "Where in the
world do you think you are going with my suitcase?"
"I'm going to where I'm wanted, which is obviously not here. So, I'm
going to be loved by my o
nly boyfriend, while you go be 'loved' by o
ne of
your side pieces," my hands fly in the air to do air quotes. I pull the door
open and step out, taking the suitcase with me, "Just one less mouth to
feed, right, Mother?" I shut the door before she can answer and disappear
to a friend's house until I can get a ride to Danny's.
I open my eyes to see the ground moving underneath me. I look around at the
passing suburban houses, the windows dark or broken. I grunt, shifting slightly. The
person carrying me stops and drags me off of his shoulder. As I'm set on the ground, I
find myself face to face with the boy I tried to kill in a surge of fury.
"Ashton?" He presses his index finger to my lips. He takes a few glances around
before taking my hand and pulling me further down the road. He pulls out what looks to
be a cellphone and his fingers fly soundlessly over the screen. He looks up at me as a
ringtone from a few blocks down sounds loudly in the quiet street. He gets closer to me
and whispers in my ear.
"I listened to what you said before you passed out and I thought about the way
they ran. I soon found a trail that they left for us. They left us a trail of cellphones and if
we get in trouble, we call the closest phone to confuse them with the noises. We'll meet
165
up in the woods, then we'll go to that town," he pulls his lips away and I look at him as if
seeing him for the first time. I start to notice the increase of muscle mass and the hard
lines on his face. He's eighteen and has seen more now than most adults see in their
whole lives. We start to walk, arms sliding into each other. He smiles as our arms link
together. We walk into the woods and look around at the desolate surroundings.
"Would you rather be here seeing and knowing everything you've seen and
know, or would you rather be back in your rich boy bedroom living a typical rich boy life?"
He looks down at me and turns towards me.
"I'd rather be here, knowing what we did, because before this, I couldn't even get
the attention of the girl of my dreams. And now I'm alone in the woods with her," he looks
at me like he's in love. I look away from him as my cheeks glow red, not because I'm
blushing, but because I'm angry at him, "It's your last chance to reconsider," his small
whisper makes my slight anger heighten.
"To do what?" I snap at him, looking at him with fire in my eyes. His hands grab
my face as he pulls it to his and kisses me. Stunned, I freeze for seconds before trying to
push him away. He holds me tighter, not letting me move as I struggle and squirm. I
finally pull my knee up and hit him in the no-no square. He drops to the ground and I
glare at him.
"Kaitlyn! What's your problem?!" He grunts.
"Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's the fact that I don't like you. I never have. What's
your problem? You could've had any girl at school, and you get this brilliant idea to like
me!" I shout at him. He stands up straight, still holding the sore spot. I snarl at him,
pulling my [knife] out. To our left, the underbrush rustles. We both turn to it. Fear
166
radiates from Ashton. We stare at it, then a bunny hops out at us. It sees us and darts
away. I turn to Ashton just as something jumps on his back. I slice at the zombie as
another comes from behind me. A scream escapes my lips, no doubt alerting the entire
woods to our location. We knock the ones off our backs and stand with our backs
touching as more converge on us, seemingly agile compared to the starving zombies of
the city. I pull out my gun and go army style, gun in one hand, knife in the other. Our
guns sing a duet as my knife dances to the song. I swing to the left just as a zombie
smacks me from the right. A cupped hand on the right ear takes me down to the ground.
I curl in a ball as I am trampled and doggy piled at the same time. Ashton's gun is
silenced. I scream out in pain as I feel my ankle being chomped on and my ear bitten.
Seconds later, it's ripped from my head. The zombie blocking my view moves and my
vision spins and blurs as the light touches me again. I see Ashton on the ground in the
same position I'm in. I blink slowly, tears of pain flooding out. I open my eyes to see
Jasen gracefully slicing zombies apart with his sword. The pain in my ankle disappears
and something soft is pressed to the hole where my ear used to be. I slow my breathing,
causing my heart rate to slow as well so I don't lose as much blood. It takes me a full five
seconds to get the strength to open my eyes again. I stare into the bloodshot eyes of
Danny. He caresses my face, talking to me, but I can't hear him. I stare at his lips,
trained to read them.
"I'm so glad we found you in time. You have the vaccine in your blood, you'll
probably be fine. If not, we can be zombies together, right? I love you so much and I
never want to see you leave me," H
e kisses my wet lips. Pulling away, his lips reveal
that blood is the reason they are wet. It's dripping off my lips in cherry red drops. I
attempt to sit up. Danny in front and, presumably, Jasen in the back, I'm helped into a
sitting position. I notice the lack of weight on my back, assuming my pack was pulled off.
167
The minor lightheadedness isn't as bad as the dizziness a few seconds earlier. I sit still
as bandages are wrapped around my head, leaving my left ear available for hearing. I
look at them and smile. They look worried and I realize when I spit out three broken
halves of teeth and one whole canine. I shake my head a little and shrug. Jasen comes
around to my front and Danny moves the side.
"Deep breaths, don't freak out," h
is voice is barely audible, the ringing in my ear
still too loud to hear with any clarity. He moves to the side to reveal Ashton. I go to stand
up but my ankle cracks and gives out. I look down at my broken ankle and crawl as best
as I can to Ashton. I sit down beside him and drag him into my lap. He looks at me, his
eyes tell that he's given up.
"Ashton..." I can hear my own voice now, the ringing has died down. He looks up
at me, his perfect smile broken and bloody like mine, maybe worse. His hand creeps up
and he pulls at a chain around his neck. I help him pull it out, knowing that he is weak,
but not frail. His class ring is on the chain.
"Take it off," the steel hardness in his voice surprises me. I unclasp the chain and
bring the ends around his neck and pull it to where he can see that it's off, "Put it on,"
"What?"
"'If you like a thing, you should put a ring on it'. Well, I'm putting my ring on it," he
pushes the necklace at me. I slip it around my neck and clasp it in the back. He touches
it with his fingertips, "That's Liz's handwriting," I look at the inscription and smile. 'Proud
of you" is inscribed on the inside of the ring. I'm losing him, he is dying right now...
I kiss his forehead and slowly let him slip away. As tears stream down my face,
Danny pulls me out from under Ashton's limp form. He hoists me into his arms. Before
168
he starts walking, I notice Jasen picking up the things from my pack that are scattered
across the ground. He stuffs that, and the last of my tattered pack into Danny's. I wrap
my arms around Danny as he carries me off through the woods, Jasen slinging Danny's
pack around his shoulders, over his own small pack. I wipe my tears on his shirt and
snuggle into him. I feel him kiss the top of my head and I notice the conflict of physical
pain and the numb and emotional emptiness of losing the only other person who shared
my guilt. After about half and hour, the trees start to thin and I see that we are actually
on a dirt, but well beaten pathway. Then the trees fall away and we enter a road. Jasen
starts to sing quietly and I'm captivated by his calm manor, as if the zombie apocalypse
doesn't exist in the town limits. The setting sun makes the shadows long. The dark
windows don't change the strangely friendly and peaceful vibes going on in this ghost
town. We walk through the cozy town, a town where everyone probably knew everyone.
Danny walks up to a smaller house, seeming to have no more than three bedrooms. He
sets me down on the porch and I look around. Jasen had disappeared somewhere in the
town as was taking it all in. I try remember the last time I heard his singing. I figure it was
probably by the drug store-candy shop duplex. I lean my head against Danny. He wraps
an arm around my shoulder and he looks down at me.
"This is our home and you," he says and I look up at him, "you are finally home,
you are my home. No more running, okay?" I nod. He leans down and kisses me. I close
my eyes as his cracked lips gently press against mine. Something grabs my leg and
pulls it of the stair. I pull away from Danny and a yip escapes my lips. I grab for my
[knife], but before I can, I notice that it's just Jasen. He has bandage wraps, a few
bottles of water, and a packet or two of plaster sitting beside him.
"Ow!" I yowl and Danny holds me closer. Jasen appears sad as he looks up at
me.
169
"Sorry, Mum, got to get the bones back in place," he says as he touches the skin
around my swollen and broken ankle. He presses as gently as possible, but it's still
incredibly painful. He finally picks up the bandage and starts to tightly wrap my ankle. He
wraps my foot and ankle up before mixing up the plaster and water on the concrete
pathway beside him. He slathers it on my bandage and makes me a cast. I smile at him
as he sets my foot down gently to let it dry and sits next to me. The quiet here is like
nothing I've ever known, it was a peaceful quiet, the type of quiet when you know that
everything is going to be okay. Like Danny said, no more running. It's practically dark
outside before Jasen stands up. He walks up the stairs and opens the front door with
ease as it was unlocked. Danny nods and gently scoops me up and carries me inside.
There's a flashlight and an unopened package of batteries sitting on the coffee table in
the living room. Jasen shuts the door, sets Danny's pack down, and sits down on the
couch. Danny sets me down next to Jasen and sits in the recliner across from us.
"Okay, so I have a bit of a confession. This was my house. And I know the town
is abandoned because it was entirely evacuated. You should have enough electricity
here to power the shower and hot water heater because it's solar, but not much else. All
the doors are unlocked to prevent damage from looters, and many of them piled up the
stuff that looters might want on their tables. Don't worry about taking anything, we all
expect it. The zombies are likely to avoid this place since there weren't any living beings
here when the whole thing went down. Zombies don't like to travel far, they don't like
walking more than a mile or so from where they turned. I guess it's the human side that
makes them get homesick. Be wary of other looters, though I didn't see evidence of any
yet," he stands up, "Try to stay off of that foot for two or so days, I'll see if I can scrounge
up some crutches before I head out of town. Bye Danny," he holds out his hand. Danny
stands up and gives Jasen a hug instead.
170
"I really did miss you, Jasen," the first I actually saw Jasen smile.
"Missed you too, bro. Take care of her, okay?" Danny nods, "Bye, Mum," he
leans down to hug me.
"Bye, Jasen. Feel free to visit,"
"I'll try," and with that, he disappears out the door and into the night. Danny looks
at me and smiles.
"What?" I ask and return his smile.
"Just we are finally alone," he sits down next to me and curls his legs underneath
of him. He snuggles up to me, tucking his head under my chin and wrapping his arms
tightly around me. I set my arm around him, pulling his closer, running my fingers
through his hair. We fall asleep like that, sleeping peacefully for the first night in years,
finally free to be who we want.
My eyes are greeted by the morning light peeking through the blinds. I kiss the
top of Danny's head and he lifts to look at me through sleepy eyes. He puckers up,
silently begging for a kiss. I smile and kiss his lips. When we pull away, he wipes the
sleep from his eyes and stands up. He quickly explores the lower level to find a
bathroom. I hear the toilet flush and he comes back.
"Do you need help?" I shrug and he helps me off the couch. I hop to the
bathroom and he makes sure I got it before leaving me to do my business. I head
Danny's pack unzip and I finish up, flushing the toilet. I stumble out to where Danny is
and he stands up. He holds out an outfit that I've never worn before.
171
"They were Sadie's. New house, new life," he smiles and hands me the clothes,
"I'm going to find something of Jasen's to wear," he kisses my forehead and walks
upstairs. Carefully changing into Sadie's old clothes, I notice how nicely they fit. The
slightly oversized black shirt is painted into a solar system design all the way around and
I know she did it herself. I slip on the dark purple, capris-length, velvet leggings just as
Danny comes downstairs. He's wearing a pair of holy jeans and a faded black shirt with
a heavy metal band logo on it. I smile and he looks lovingly at me, holding something
behind his back.
"What do you have there?"
"Something to bring your whole outfit together," he leads me to the couch. Then
he stand in front of me smiles. "Close your eyes," I close my eyes as he puts something
on my foot, "Open them," I look at my foot to see a gold-colored sandal on my foot.
"I love it," I smile at him and he pulls me off the couch. He helps me to the door
and opens it for me. Leaning against the railing is a pair of crutches, adjusted to my
height, with a sticky note on it.
I hope I got the height right. See you when I see you. Love, your friendly Shadow Man,
Jasen.
I hop over to them and try them out. Danny smiles and looks at me.
"Wanna go for a walk? Discover our new town?" I nod and smile and he helps
me down the stairs. We explore our new town. Day by day, we get more curious, going
into houses, gathering clothes, food, and other things to start our new life with, piling it
high into the wagon we found in a garage.
172
A week had passed since we got here, and I decide to go out by myself this
morning. I go to the little second hand store and try to find a nice white dress. I find the
perfect one and smile. I skim through the jewelry section and find a beautiful ring and a
shiny watch. I snoop around the back storage area and find a suit jacket. On my way out,
a clip on-tie catches my eye. I get home and throw my stuff on the couch. I hobble up the
stairs with my crutches and gently wake Danny up.
"Danny? Will you marry me?" He looks at me confused then smiles.
"Of course,"
We go down stairs and I slip on the dress. He pulls on the suit jacket and clips
the tie on. I braid my hair and he runs his fingers through his own. He grabs the Poloroid
we found and takes a picture of me. I roll my eyes and take a picture of him. He walks
me outside,the jewelry in his hand. We stand in the middle of the road, looking at each
other. He steps back and signs his vows. I smile, enjoying the break from reading lips to
help my lack of hearing.
"I love you. I always have. You are the smartest and most beautiful woman I've
ever seen, even without the things you lack. I love how you look at me, how you smile
when you are around me. When we get old, our teeth fall out, we lose our hearing, and
eventually, we die, but I want to grow old with you. I love you." I blush and smile.
"You've always been there for me. We went through more together than many
people go through their whole lives. I know your human life will be short, but I hope to
keep you alive in your zombie life. I'm scared to lose you. What would your parents
think? Barely eighteen and married to a girl you met online. With you, there is hope. I
love you." He steps closer.
173
"Will you take me as your husband?"
"I do. Will you take me as your wife?"
"I need to think about it. I'm kidding, I do,"
"Then you may kiss the bride," he kisses me. He carries me inside and we stay
inside for the rest of the day. I wake up in the middle of night for the first time since we've
been here. Something from my subconsciousness tries to push through, just on the edge
of thought. I look over at Danny, passed out cold, not a worry in the world. I close my
eyes again and the film between consciousness and subconsciousness breaks. I open
my eyes. It's a girl, but not just any girl. It's the girl in the picture on the mantle
downstairs. Something about her face seems oddly familiar, but I can't put my finger on
where I'd have seen her before. Maybe it's just one of the faces I've seen on TV or in a
crowd, but it doesn't seem like it would be this important to me if she was just a
someone. I roll over and close my eyes again, but all I see is that girl, a zoomed in
version of the photo, each inch of her face being carefully examined. The minutes crawl
by, my annoyance in this situation growing. Finally, I yank the blanket off, determined to
figure this out as I quietly slide off the bed. I creep out of the master bedroom and tiptoe
down the stairs, one step at a time, my heart racing, hearing the blood rush in my good
ear. I go to the mantle and look into her eyes again. Then is hits me like a brick wall and
I grab onto the mantle for support, knocking the picture off. The glass picture frame hits
the floor and shatters.
I'm back at school on that dreaded day, the day of the dare, before I was
even aware of it. I see her face following me through the hallways, not even
noticeable, just another face. I stop at my locker, looking around for possible
threats before opening it. When I feel safe, I open it slowly and quickly dig
174
through my stuff. I pull the wad of gum from my mouth and push it onto the lock
to prevent a hostage situation if anyone sneak attacks me and tries to lock me in.
I grab the notebook I was searching for and straighten up. A hand wraps around
the back of my neck and I freeze. A warm and heavy breath is released on my ear
as a voice, thick with a mix of accents of Britain, Australia, and New Jersey.
"When they offer you the dare today, don't take it, don't ask your boyfriend
to come along, just say no," I turn around to look in her face.
"I never say no to a dare,"
"You might want to this time, otherwise, it's going to change your life and
everyone else's," And just like that she turns and disappears just as the bell rings.
The day flashes forward and I just stepped out of my house on the way to
Ashton's. I feel like someone is watching me.
Snap back to reality with the same feeling, like someone is watching me. The stairs
creak and I reach for my gun, but my holster isn't there. Reaching for my [knife], I realize that I
took it off a few days ago. I look up at the stairs and see Danny looking at me.
"Kaitlyn, are you okay? Why are you down here?" It takes me a second to decipher what
he said from the lack of light to read his lips.
"Yeah, I'm okay. Just a nightmare so I came down here for a second,"
"Let's go back to bed,"
"Okay," he starts heading back up the stairs. I see movement in the window out of the
corner of my eye, but when I look, the window is empty. I go back upstairs and cuddle under the
sheets, falling asleep quickly. The days pass quickly, a semi-average life. We had quit looting
175
and the house is decorated in the random things we considered needed. I clean and Danny
cooks, living as husband and wife, as the occasional gifts from Jasen appear on our doorstep in
the middle of the night. I watch as Danny changes more and more into a figure of death itself.
Our walks become shorter, he gets weaker, his eyesight fades as his hearing heightens. I
started watching him at night, staying up when he sleeps, my life no longer safe.
I wake up late, more tired than normal, and race to the bathroom again to throw up. For
a week and a half, I've thrown up every morning. Watching Mother be pregnant 6 times after I
was born, imprinted the warning signs in my memory. I swish with mouthwash before heading
downstairs. Danny is sitting at a fully set table, the three course breakfast steaming and making
the entire house fragrant of the delicious food.
"Good morning, Love! Come and eat," his tone sounds unrealistically jubilant. He is
dressed in his favorite outfit: the shirt he changed into our first morning in the house, which I
later found out was Danny's before he lent it to Jasen; and a pair of stained, ripped, and ruined
stone-washed blue jeans. I smile at him, knowing in the back of my mind that he is leaving soon.
I sit down at the table, dressed in a nightgown and feeling slightly underdressed. Danny treats
me to pancakes and waffles, cereal with a pitcher of chilled dry milk, and a small chocolate lava
cake. We sit in a comfortable silence as I chew my food thoroughly, trying not to think about our
upcoming parting. He looks at me as he chews, him knowing that I don't want him to go. After
we clear our plates from the table, I get a chance to see him up close. His eyes are bloodshot,
his skin is a sickly yellow, and his coordination is terrible. He didn't eat much and he smells
different. I stand in front of him, scared to lose him, but knowing that I have to let him go.
"Danny," I begin. He cuts me off.
176
"I know. I don't want to leave you either, but I'm not safe for you anymore. I know you
aren't sleeping much at night which means I don't make you feel safe and that's my job as a
mate,"
"Just one more night?" My eyes are big and pleading.
"No, Babe. Today is the day," I nod and he kisses me. He goes upstairs to dress in his
original clothes as I fill the wagon with cushions, blankets, and other things from our looting. He
comes back down with a few pairs of handcuffs.
"Where?-" I start to ask, but he cuts me off.
"The local police station. And before you ask, I got them when you were sleeping. You
don't have to use them if you would just," he pauses, letting it hang in the air, not wanting to say
the possibility.
"No, I'm not going to shoot you," I say curtly, opening the door and ushering him through.
He sighs and steps over the threshold. We walk to the local playground, hand in hand. He
watches me the entire walk, my eyes straight ahead of me. We get to the chain link fence
surrounding the playground and he pulls me to look at him, the tears in my eyes finally running
down my face. He pulls me to his chest and I cry, sobbing into his chest as his arms wrap
around me, holding me in the last embrace I'll ever feel from someone I love. We stand like that
for a long time, the morning sun warming us. That's when I notice how cold he really is. I look up
at him, his sickly skin and tattered clothes give him the look of a homeless man, or more of a
zombie by this point. I look into his green, bloodshot eyes and kiss him. He closes them as he
opens his cracked lips and we share our last passionate kiss. Our lips part and we walk to the
spot where he is to be chained. It's a bus stop. A roof, three and a half walls, and a floor. We
177
start to toss the cushions down for a comfortable sleeping space for Danny. We toss the
blankets in as well.
"Why don't we hang out for a bit, maybe nap to see if it's comfortable enough before we
part ways?" I smile at Danny's offer and nod. We take a stroll through the town again, stopping
to eat some soft pretzels warmed in the sun on the sidewalk, with sides of chips and snack
cakes. We then play on the playground a bit, sharing our last day together being the kids we
were never allowed to be. It's almost sunset and we walk back to the bus stop. He stops on the
side of the road and looks at me, a smile on his face and I turn towards him. He pulls out his
phone. I look at him curiously, knowing that it must be dead by now. He looks down at it and
taps on the screen a little.
"Charged it while you were sleeping, just for this," a song starts playing from the phone
speakers, but not just any song, he is playing our song. I smile as he sets the phone down and
takes my hand. We dance to Budapest by George Ezra in the middle of the street. As the song
finishes, he holds me, my head on his chest, listening to his slow and unsteady heartbeat. He
looks at me with a sad look and we both walk over to the bus stop. I tie his ankles a length away
from the wall, his ankles not letting him outside the threshold of the bus stop. Cuffing the
handcuffs in a chain, I also shackle him to the wall by his ankles as an extra precaution. I look at
him in his eyes as he looks into mine and tries to smile. He pulls me close and kisses me one
last time. I kiss him back and we pull away. He lays down and curls in a ball as I pull a blanket
over him. I tuck him in and kiss his cheek.
"Good night, Danny,"
"Good night, Kaitlyn,"
"I love you,"
178
"I love you too. Don't forget about me, but feel free to move on. You can love someone
else,"
"I could never forget about you, and I'll never love someone like I love you,"
"I know, Babe," he starts to drift off to sleep. I stand in the doorway for a long time, way
after dark before slowly walking home. I turn on the light and setting on the bed is a small
stuffed animal. It's a cute, little, red horse like animal with a blue mane. Picking up the stuffed
animal, I snuggle into the lonely bed, under the cold covers, and cry, clutching it to my chest. I
close my eyes, leaving the light on, it halfways comforting me. I don't fall asleep until the early
hours of the morning.
