10 Memories

"You promised me. You said you'd never leave me again. So why are you leaving me?" I cried. I tugged on his arm and wrapped my arms around his right arm.

He tried to pry my arms off. I didn't budge. "You know I'm doing this for our sake. Don't you want to be safe again?" he asked gently. He tried to make his voice sound light, but I could hear the sorrow and strain behind the mask. I knew he didn't want to leave me. I looked up and gazed into his brown eyes. They were full of tears. Tears he wasn't releasing.

"Stay. They don't need you. I need you," I pleaded. I could feel tears slide down my cheek. I couldn't let him go again. I can't lose another person I love to this stupid war. This stupid Copper War. First my brother and now Troy? Why?

"I can't. I need to go." Troy's eyes had glazed over. There was a faraway look in them as if he was looking into the future, knowing what would happen. A silent tear slid down his cheek. I lifted a hand to brush it off.

"Why? Why will you choose them over me? All I want is to be with you, safe and sound," I murmured. "Why are you making it impossible for this dream to come true?"

"You'll be safe if I go," he said. He said "you" so confidently, as if he knew that if he went, only I would be safe, during the war and after. The tears were flowing freely now, from both of us.

"But what about you? My dream can't come true if you're not here with me. We can't be together if you die. If you die like my brother," I whispered.

"But I have to. I'll die of guilt if I don't." Troy looked down at me. He smiled apologetically. His gentle smile, the dimple that forms on his left cheek, it was too much to take in. He wanted to trick me, trick me into letting him go. I was not going to fall for it.

I glared at him accusingly. "You don't have to. They gave you choice. I saw on my brother's form. He said the same thing as you. He didn't come back. You won't come back. I know it. Don't go. Please. Stay with me. The war will end soon. They don't need you." I wiped away my tears. The cold, harsh wind blew over. His face was red. His hair was tousled. I couldn't look at him. I stared across the empty lot. "Or is it that you don't want to be with me? Is it that you choose the war over me?"

"No,' Troy said desperately. "No, I want you. But you have to be safe. I have to know that you'll stay after I leave. You have to keep yourself safe."

"Then you have to stay safe too.' I forced myself to look at him, straight in the eyes. "Promise me that if-" I forced the words out of my mouth. "-if you live, the first thing you'll do is come to me. You'll find me and show me that you are alive. If you're not, then I'll find your body. I'll give you a proper burial. You'll be honored."

"If you promise to stay safe, I agree,' Troy said. I'll do what you said. Just stay safe." His voice cracked on the last word.

"Ok." I threw my arms around him and buried my face in his chest. I breathed in his sweet strawberry scent, knowing that this would probably be the last time I would see him. "Come back, please."

He nodded, kissed me on the cheek, and climbed into the van waiting by the curb. I watched the car drive away. I saw that when he looked at me, tears started to form at the corner of his eyes. But he turned quickly, no doubt hoping I didn't see them.

But I did. And it was the last thing I saw of him, ever again.

When Diane opened her eyes, she was laying on the back porch. Troy was sitting beside her. She stiffly got into a sitting position. She glared at him.

"I remember you. You're Troy," I said, glaring at him. "Why'd you come back?"

"I wanted to see if you remembered. If you remembered anything. I know that I hurt you. Will you forgive me?" He asked. It seemed like a plea, but it wasn't. It didn't carry the same desperation.

"Do you know how much pain you caused me? To relieve that pain, I forced myself to forget you. I buried all my memories of you. That's what it took for me to forget the pain. I got rid of you. Why didn't you come back if you were still alive?" Diane responded.

"I couldn't. I was hospitalized for over a year. When they finally released me, I looked for you, but you were gone. You didn't live where you lived before. You moved, but I only just found that out. I thought that you'd left to live closer to another lover," Troy's voice was strained. Diane could hear sadness behind it. "I never forgot you. I couldn't go anywhere without thinking about you. Everything reminded me of you. Why'd you leave?"

"I left so that nothing would trigger the blackouts I've had recently. I left so that I could leave you behind, so that you could never hurt me again" Diane said. Her voice was full of sorrow. She couldn't bear reliving the terrible moments. The shrieks she'd screamed out the window every night reminded her of the misery she'd felt. Every step in the school had reminded her of him.

"Are you still angry at me?" Troy asked quietly. Diane looked at him. The ten years they'd spent apart had changed him. He was tanned and had a lot more muscles than before. Troy was very tall now, around 6 feet. But he'd also changed on the inside. He was rock hard now, impenetrable. Nothing Diane could say would hurt him. He would probably just get up and leave if she lied that she hated him, that she was still angry at him. But the rock-like shell was protecting the softness inside him that he had for her and people important to him like Diane.

"No. I'm not angry. I'm glad you found me again. That you are back with me. That you didn't leave me for another girl."

"I will always be here for you, even when the world ends, I'll be here to support you. Take my hand, and never let go."

Diane blushed. Her face reddened when she thought about what Troy just said. Looking into his hazel eyes, Diane knew what she would do.

She took his hand. And she never let go, and Troy didn't either.