Bunny’s collection of poems

I miss the girl I used to be

Before I met you and fell in love

Before the arguments

Before the after school hangouts

Before the heartache

I miss the girl who could stop thinking about you

The girl who didn't set aside time to get to know you

Because now whenever you're around I'm always tempted the devil on my shoulder is egging me to taste you one more time

To remember your touch that I buried deep within my mind

The feeling that never quite left my body

I miss the girl I used to be before we had sex

Because no matter what there will always be that spark between us waiting for the perfect time to ignite

I try to forget you but it's like the more I try to remove you from my archive of memories the more you start to appear

like black and white movie clips they give a sense of melancholic nostalgia

It's as if my mind is telling me not to forget

To not forget the love we shared and the time we spent together

Maybe a little piece of me yearns for you

But not like I used to

I'm no longer blinded

The naive girl you used to know died after we split

I no longer fall madly in love

Instead I tread on the border of head over heels and caution

The doubt I'll always harbor is my life jacket just in case I slip into the chaotic flow of love

I miss the girl that didn't know what love was but even so I'm happy she's gone

The bittersweet taste love leaves is something I'll always crave but never want to seek out

I wish we could've worked out just to see what path would've been paved before us

But that's like changing the chapters in a published book as if no one turned those ink stained pages and dissected the words written in a tongue we created

It's a childish thought but none the less a reoccurring one

But now I just wish for my friend back

The person I could tell everything to without fear of being judged

But the question I have to ask myself is if we become close again will I be able to resist temptation

Will I stay on the line or will I try to dive to the depths once again falling madly in love with you

I'm scared as to what my answer would be

And that's why I miss the girl I used to be

Before I met you and fell in love

The girl who couldn't explain the feeling because she had never felt it

Because the girl I am today

Has had her heart stomped on and set aflame

She's been bruised and broken

Been in so much pain that some days leaving her bed felt like climbing a mountain with her hands tied her back

A near impossible feat

The girl that stands before you today who's experienced that sickly bittersweet feeling is scared to keep loving and letting others hold her delicate heart

Yet she finds it in her to keep loving and try trusting

The act of loving with everything you've got is a courageous thing that isn't for the half hearted but for those with conviction to never stop loving their special person

To be understanding of them, their past, and the things surrounding them

To come with an open mind to face every obstacle together as a team

A unit

A partnership

That is the kind of love the girl I used to be wished for

The kind of love I have yet to fully receive

Now I no longer miss the girl I used to be

Instead I pray the girl I am now finds peace