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Bringing some shocking pranks to the Cultivation World

Author: Nero 2077
Eastern
Ongoing · 363.9K Views
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Synopsis

Interviewer: "Immortal Zhou Li, could you tell us why you created the orthodox methods and forged the twelve righteous paths, condensing twelve talismans to resolve ancient and modern disputes?" "Just to liven things up." Interviewer: "Well, I mean, did you reorganize the Great Ming Dynasty and plant the Seven Immortal Gourds based on the laws of myriad spirits, brewing the Spring of Spirit Qi for the glory of mankind or...?" "Just to really liven things up." Interviewer: "No, Immortal Zhou Li, I feel that you've done so much for humanity, for the Immortal Realm, and for Da Ming. Your purpose and starting point should be a bit more noble, such as...?" "Enough already, can't you see? I just wanted to bring some entertainment to the spiritually impoverished Great Ming Dynasty and everyone in the Cultivation World. Here, let's liven things up for everyone." The white-robed immortal pointed a finger, and alongside him, a chaotic and ferocious Ancient God swung indescribable and bizarre tendrils. Then, with a surge forward followed by a backflip, it landed stylishly, all the while muttering the delirious ramblings of an Ancient God. 【Damn, let's go, ignore it!】 "No fun? Who would cultivate without any fun?"

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Chapter 1Chapter 1: Eighty Years Old, In Love with the Brothel

Joy is the most indispensable thing in everyone's life.

For instance, the excavator working by the roadside, the nonsensical questions in a dimwit's bar, the fat man walking on the street and inexplicably shouting for everyone to look his way, and then there's...

"Your great-grandfather, over eighty years old, went missing while visiting prostitutes?"

Amidst the hustle and bustle of North Street, a wooden house with a [Wherever Pass] signboard had its doors tightly locked. Zhou Li, the owner, put down the door bolt, turned around, and asked in astonishment, "Are you pulling my leg?"

"No... Sigh..."

Following a sigh filled with helplessness and sorrow, the man dressed in luxurious silk shook his head, looking downhearted. With countless words lodged in his throat, he said in a mournful voice:

"Master Zhou, I know that this news may seem unusual, but please believe me, I am not deceiving you. My great-grandfather is indeed eighty-nine this year, but he had a serendipitous encounter where an Immortal patted his head and stroked his beard, and since then..."

The man paused, his face showing an expression too embarrassed to be spoken. But for the sake of his great-grandfather's safety, he clenched his teeth and resolutely said: "Ever since that encounter, my great-grandfather has been indulging in revelry day and night, a frequent guest in the various brothels, reluctant to return."

"F*ck."

Upon hearing this, Zhou Li was shocked, "Did this Immortal pat the top or the bottom?"

"That..."

With a shade of embarrassment, the man shook his head and hurriedly said: "Master Zhou, let's get back to the commission. Since my great-grandfather last went to Shangjing City to survey the market and has not sent any word home for over a month, nor asked for money, it's highly unusual. My father at home is worried sick about his safety, so much so that he even came home to rest after only playing mahjong for five shichen yesterday."

With a sense of urgency in his voice, the man looked at Zhou Li and said earnestly:

"Master Zhou, as you know, the government has been cracking down on unlicensed brothels lately, and they definitely won't handle a case like my great-grandfather's. I can only rely on you for this matter. I can't trust any other Monster Hunters. As long as you can bring my great-grandfather back, or find out what happened to him, I, Xie Du, will be most grateful."

After speaking, the man anxiously awaited the response of the young man in front of him. As a famous tycoon of the northern city, Xie Du had contacted many Monster Hunters, hoping they would take the task, but without exception, all had refused.

Of course, he understood why. After all, Monster Hunters aren't merely wanderers; they are Spirit Qi Masters stamped by the Government Office, and they had reputations to maintain. Commissioned to find an eighty-nine-year-old who had crossed cities in his pursuit of pleasure with Immortals, other Monster Hunters naturally disdained the task.

"Alright."

Zhou Li suddenly stood up, walked over to Xie Du, and said firmly: "You don't need to say more."

Seeing this, a bitter smile appeared on Xie Du's face as he shook his head and sighed:

"Alas, it's true that this sort of matter is generally looked down upon. You are, after all, a well-respected Monster Hunter. If you accepted such a commission, wouldn't it be tainting your own reputation..."

"I'll take it."

Before Xie Du could finish, Zhou Li nodded vigorously and declared solemnly: "I accept your commission."

"Huh?"

Xie Du was stunned. His mouth agape, his face filled with bafflement and confusion, he could only utter a monosyllabic sound to express his puzzlement. He hadn't even begun to appeal to Zhou Li's moral responsibility, nor had he thrown out the temptation of a substantial reward, so he couldn't understand why Zhou Li had so readily agreed.

"It's not for anything else. I just want to see for myself the demeanor of an old man who is over eighty and still possesses such mighty vigor. You don't need to say anything more; I, Zhou Li, will take on this mission."

Zhou Li spoke with conviction, his tone full of compassionate determination. But those who knew him were well aware that only two kinds of commissions could excite Zhou Li. One was highly rewarding, providing him with rare medicinal materials. The other was a task that could bring him joy.

Clearly, Xie Du's commission fell into the latter category. To Zhou Li, missing out on the joy of finding an eighty-year-old who could be so vigorous in the pursuit of pleasure was like not having traversed time at all. With this thought, Zhou Li readily accepted the task that others had shunned.

"Thank you so much!"

Regaining his composure, Xie Du was overjoyed and grabbed Zhou Li's hand, shaking it vigorously. After leaving behind a hundred taels of silver as a deposit, he left [Omnipotent Demon Subjugation]. Zhou Li watched Xie Du's retreating figure, his fingers gently tracing over the Ba Gua wooden plaque on his waist.

--------------------------

[Trigger Fate Line]

[Bronze Fate Line: Snake Spirit! Return my grandfather!]

[Xie Du, the wealthiest man in the northern city, had a great-grandfather named Jie Se, who was over eighty years old, had once received an Immortal's blessing, and despite his white hair, was strong and robust, with a fair and youthful appearance, living his old age with vigor. He enjoyed his time in various brothels of the northern city, earning him the nickname: Old Gun God.]

[Half a month ago, Jie Se accepted an invitation from a friend to look for fun in Liang City, one hundred and fifty li away, and since then, had disappeared without a trace as if he had vanished from the world.]

[After learning of this, Jie Se's grandson, Xie Du, was greatly alarmed and panicky. Ashamed to tell the Government Office about his octogenarian grandfather's fondness for visiting prostitutes, Xie Du had no choice but to use the family heirloom {Low-grade Soul-Settling Pill} and a thousand taels of silver as compensation, hoping to recruit skilled individuals to investigate the whereabouts of his grandfather, Jie Se.]

[After thorough screening, Xie Du learned that you had once helped the Government Office crack down on brothels and believed you had the experience. Therefore, he sought you out, hoping you could help him find his missing grandfather.]

Opening his eyes, the densely packed words carved on the wheel vanished in an instant, and the regal, mysterious golden wheel gradually disintegrated. Zhou Li rubbed his temples as the bustling crowd and the noise of hawkers brought him back to reality. He lifted his head and looked up at the [Grand Building] sign hanging on the imposing structure in front of him, exhaling deeply.

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Astral_Pandemonium · Eastern
4.0
465 Chs

Update Frequency

The average realized release rate over the past 30 days is 21 Chs/week.
Table of Contents
Volume 1
Volume 2
Volume 3

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Nero 2077

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