1 Chapter 1

I laid on my bed and tried to bare my mind. I tried not to think about him but it was useless.

Thoughts of him ruled my mind.

I've been going through this for months now, trying to control it is like trying not to breathe. It's seemed impossible.

Oh God "no, not again"

I've known Gina since our 4th grade.

Grew up in the same street, went to same school nowwe're in the same college and sharing same apartment.

We've been friends for so long and most people think we're sisters despite our differences in appearance.

We look out for each other at all times and whenever am down, she would do anything to make me feel better.

One outstanding thing about her, is that she's always out for fun.

"Girlfriend you're a mess, look at your face, Jesus! I bet you've been crying since I left! Is that grease on your face? Your hair is all messed up hell!" she said

It's been OVER A YEAR! Hell! "look at the state you've put yourself in"...

"Am fine okay?"

"No you're not, you're wallowing in self pity and that shit is eating you up" you've gotta let go. I need my best friend back " she blew stressing the word back.

"Somehow she was right, I kinda blame myself for Richard's death, few days to his birthday he called me and said something about wanting to celebrate the birthday with me alone but I opted for a public party, one we could invite our friends to celebrate with us which he accepted.

A day to his birthday he was driving with his cousin to get stuffs needed for the party when they had an accident, he died the following day, on his birthday and I just knelt beside his hospital bed clinging to his hands while his mother stood with her hands on my shoulder as the tears dropped.

If only I had granted his wish to spend the day with me alone

He would have been alive.

I would have saved everyone the pain.

If only...

"Look girl, I know it's hard but you got to understand that Richard is gone. Yeah he was a great guy and we all loved him but that's all gone now and he's never coming back"

Richard wasn't the first guy I've dated, neither was he the second but something about him strikes out. You know that feeling you get when you're with someone, that makes you know that he's the right person, yeah, I got that allot when I was with him. He was not just any guy. I did picture a perfect future with him, cause he showed me so much love and everything was great till the day he died and yes it's been over a year but it still feels like yesterday.

I've been trying to live a happy life without him but honestly, it hasn't been easy, dude was a huge part of me.

"Hey! You listening?" My roomie said while shaking me out of my reveries.

"Am sorry, you were saying?"

"Fuck! I've been talking to myself?"

"Am so sorry darling". I slurred.

"I need you to talk this way tomorrow, we'll be having an outing". she grinned

"I said we're going out this weekend"

"No thanks, am done with the outings"

Ever since Richard's death, it's been one outing or another with Gina who hardly takes no for an answer.

According to her, I need to go out more often and meet new people if I wanna forget Richard.

Something about me moving on with my life.

She did fix a few dates but all turned disastrous. It wasn't the guys, it was me, I wasn't just interested. I did it all to soothe her cause I knew she was acting on my best interest.

She did make allot of efforts though but most times all I really wanna do is curl up on my bed and cry myself to sleep.

It's not really an outing" she was saying. "It's a party, a big one, lots of influential people are gonna be present and guess what? The party is high class, not a junk party" she said with so much excitement.

"We ain't high class, so how do we fit in?"

"I got an invitation, You know Morgan right?

Now Gina is a super crazy girl, dating and break ups comes easy to her and most times I don't even know whom she's serious with.

"Uhhm, the grumpy guy?

She gave me a mad look.

"Sorry, the rich Dude? I said biting my lips.

"Yes him. he was invited, so he's taking me along as his date"

"How did you do it? That dude is just so arrogant, wonder how you put up with his attitude."

She rolled her eyes, one of the things you'do love about her "I worked my magic on him, besides he's not exactly grumpy, you just doesn't know him. Morgan is really nice, if you get to know him, he's a sweet person when he wants to be". She said smacking her lips.

Urghhh "Right. So, how do I fit in?"