1 1. Ending does not always goes well

World has its own peace and its doesn't just wait for anyone nor they or any other, And whoever doesn't walk along got crush over by. Ella's grandmother always told her this and she always belived it, like the rest of her pieces in her memory and were only thing she cherished the most.

but, does not her grandmother always say that even if the world doesn't stop, the time keep running. it will not matter untill you have the people who love you, the people whom you love. it's a selfish connection, the power that has everyone bound together in this world. the thing every one wants. it's love.

The one who has it maybe the poorest man but he will be satisfied because he know when he will reach home something or someone precious will be waiting for him.

A tear escape her eyes, as she reminded those day. They were full of joy and happiness. but, now she is standing at her grave with the clouds pouring, she feel less, lonely. like she was missing something. that very thing her nanny was telling her.

she understood her completing, why she has said all those thing to a five year old girl, who was too busy glaring at ice cream vendor. this saying just came with experience. And grandmother had that a lot. she has been in rough time . she has been told many time that how her husband was alcoholic and left her with a two year old son. she didn't give up though. she was strong and Ella always admire that quality in her grandmother. Maybe, that's why she got such a warm feeling just by looking at her. she wasn't able to give her child the best childhood but what she did Ella will always be respecting her, it was her choice she could have choose to not take, or be horrible with the decisions but she was the best mother and grandmother anyone could ever get.

She has been told many time, she was like her grandmother, that she inherited some of her quality in her. She felt proud because she was her role model and being like her was an honor.

but, now she start to question it.

she is really like her?

The answer in her head was not, she wasn't.

She was never that strong enough. She was infact weak, very weak and falling apart. it's like the time was running out of her hand and she couldn't keep up the pace, it was like everyone has been lifted from the spot but she has been stuck there and not able to move on while every else are just passing by her. she's yelling, crying in pain but no one is listing to her. like the person who has listened just left her, and she is all alone now. helpless.

That feeling was the worst and if not then those look on people who look like they understand. but, god know how it's feel like.

Today, she miss her grandmother a lot, If she had been here she would tell her how she is feeling right now. She didn't have to bottled up. She would probably lie in her lap and cry her heart out. She didn't have to be the responsible one. she could be a kid again.

But, that phase of her life seem so far away..... like it had been happened in a parallel space. when she still had her grandmother and her brother.

She wanted to cry and scream. She wanted all of them to know that she is just losing it. It's not just her heart but every thing remaind her of him, the sorry look on everyone 's face in the street, the constant crying of her mother, her house, his room even her face. how she is supposed move on is beyond her. she just wanted to slap them to shut up because they didn't understand it no one did.

the wind started to turn into Hales and the leaves blow violently informing her about upcoming storm. she knew she needed to hurry.

"I miss you, wish you were here" her voice cracked " I will not able to visit you from now on, we...we are moving to a different city" she inhale into the thin air, tears streaming in her eyes.

" they're are saying it will help" she said with bitter tone "how does I feel about it you asked? well no one bother to ask me but it's ok" she let out a humorless laugh. The weather let out angry whimper, the sky was black by the time now. she decided to finally let go.

"Guess, I will get going now, I have still packing left. just to let to know, this end doesn't go well grandma, this new start...I feel like I loss everything, every single hope. I do not know. this end does not go well" she sobbed as replace the flowers and clutched a firm grip on her soaked umbrella and headed home.

Just as her feet began retracing her foot steps, a small almost tiny ray of sunshine emerged through the black clouds and fall on her brother grave right nest to her grandmother.

Maybe, not all hope were dead.