22 Chapter 21: Moving On?

- MIYA'S POV -

"I want to be alone, Estes. I'm fine. You can leave my room now. I'm not going to commit suicide besides, that's my decision." I said while lying on my bed. I can feel he's staring at me then sighed.

"If you need anything, just call me or the handmaids, okay?"

I nodded and heard the door closed. I breathe deeply. This is what I wanted, right? I wanted him to be safe though I don't even know from what. Esmeralda is still in her slumber so the reason remains a mystery to me. I hope she wakes up sooner and the same thing for the Twilight Goddess. The Land of Dawn needs them.

I don't feel doing anything today except for lying on my comfy bed. It happened yesterday but I feel like a year had passed. Time is too slow, is it because I'm not doing anything? I need to distract myself with something to forget the pain for a moment.

That's it! I need to find Kadi—

Oh. She's in the Burning Kingdom, the Dark Empire. He might kill me for coming to their empire and think that hurting his feelings is not enough for me. Ugh. Can I just sleep too? Like what Esmeralda and Lunox are doing right now? Maybe when I wake up, the pain is gone.

Or remove my memories? Yeah, that will be the stupidest thing I will do in this world. Forget it.

My gaze ended up on my balcony where the wind is freely entering my room. I don't hear any footsteps coming or near my door. Should I escape? I feel like I'm going to die here inside the room. I changed my mind, I don't want to just lie on my bed and do nothing. I'll go out, and maybe visit Odette. She's an expert when it comes to the 'mate bond' thing. Maybe she can give me some advice on how to move on?

I made up my mind and stood up. I took my bow and arrows too, I think I'll hunt some animals on my way before reaching Odette's Kingdom. I hope Kadita is okay. I'm a terrible friend, I can't even cross the damn border to save her because of my mate problem which myself caused it.

First, I left a letter for Estes and placed it on m dresser where it will be seen easily. He might worry about me because of my disappearance. I just assured him in the letter that I will come back to the kingdom and not going to run away. Where will I run anyway? I don't have other places to stay.

Estes still doesn't know that I already know what he did to Alucard. Yes, I'm mad at him and a little thankful for not killing him. Yes, a little, like two percent and the rest is anger and confused but I don't hate him. I think? I don't know, I'm still confused about my feelings. All I know is I'm hurt because I rejected my mate that now hates me.

At least, he won't die. I'd rather see him hating and cursing me but still breathing normally than he loves me so much but he died, according to Esmeralda's vision.

I turned invisible and went to my balcony then jumped off. I looked up again and sighed, "I'm sorry, Estes."

I passed the guards without them noticing me. This power is very convenient and useful. I can just turn invisible and cry my eyes out if there is a lot of people surrounding me. I can also confuse my enemies and just turn invisible then attack them from behind. I learned that from my old friend, Natalia.

I found creeps roaming around in the forest. I decided to attack them, I might loot some golds or even interesting items like new weapons. I killed the first one and heard someone clapping from behind. I prepared my bow and was about to shoot the person but I stopped abruptly when I recognized him.

He raised his arms like he was surrendering, "Chill, Miya. It's just me."

I raised my eyebrows and put my bow at my back, "What the hell are you doing here??"

Gusion chuckled, "Am I now allowed to be here? It's just a forest, Miya. No one owns or lives in this place except for the creeps lurking here." He shrugged and sat down on a big rock, "How about you? What are you doing here?"

I slumped down on the grass and gazed at the bright sky, "I'm just hunting."

Silence surrounded us until he broke it with a deafening question.

"Why did you reject him?"

Did he say something? I faced him and frowned, "What?"

"I said, why did you reject him? I know the feeling of being rejected, Miya. That must've hurt—"

I switched my gaze from the sky to him. I can't stop my tears again. Damn.

"He's not the only one who's hurt here. I am hurt too! But it will cause much more pain if I didn't suppress my feelings and reject him as my mate. I love him! I really do! And I don't care if none of you believes it. I love him so much to the point I could let him go just for him to be safe."

My face heated when I realized the words that came out of my mouth. I just declared my love for Alucard in front of Gusion. Great. Can I turn invisible now? I really need to learn how to control my feelings. My emotions are taking over me and said some things that are not even related to the man in front of me right now.

Gusion smiled sadly, "Then tell that to him, you can't just leave him clueless, Miya. There is always another way. There has to be."

I smiled at him. Why is talking to people that you are not very close to about problems are kind of easier than the ones you are close with?