Chapter 1: Grief
" will he make it doctor? "
" im not so sure ma'am his condition is quite critical he may not make it im so sorry "
" what do you mean by that!?
ma'am pls calmed down "
" you expect me to calm down?! my father is dying for godsake! "
" yes ma'am I know pls just calm down for a second "
as my mother angry at the doctor I just sat there thinking what's going to happen to my grandpa
as a young kid I used to always think the world is full of happiness I doubted about problems and sadness only happiness...so I wasn't worried I thought my grandpa would be ok
9pm full moon
I was in my room playing with my toys couldn't sleep early after playing with my toys I got bored and then I decided to go upstairs
I got out of my room and then went upstairs when I finally got there I overheard mom and dad's conversation
" honey it's a lot of money to spend to your dad can't we just stop this now? pls your very tired your exhausted pls just take a break "
" you know I can't do that! "
" pls hon you got to understand your dad's not going to make it "
" pls I just want him to stay alive just a little longer I don't wanna lose him "
" oh god "
" honey give me my credit card I'm going to the bank "
" tch your going to spend again "
my dad said in a low tone
" what was that? "
" oh nothing honey "
i was there watching the whole conversation between my mom and dad i ask myself why is money so important? why do we have problems on money? why is grandpa still not ok?
Saturday 2020 Nov, 6pm
as I was playing with my phone my dad's phone suddenly ring my mother was calling my dad hurried and pick it up
" hello honey? "
( Rob pls come here quick in the hospital! )
" oh is it happening don't worry I'm on my way "
my dad quickly took the keys of the car and left
I was there wondering what happen is my grandpa dead? I look at my sister and saw her confused I told her it's going to be ok but to me I really had a bad feeling that day
my mom and dad got home after 2 days of staying in the hospital
" hey mom dad is grandpa OK? "
" oh hey there sweetie and yes your grandpa is quite alright "
my little sister got out of her room
" really!? so will he go home now? "
" oh..uh well you see sweetie grandpa is still recovering so he still can't come home "
my mother gave a weak smile it's quite obvious she's lying soo it's true huh my grandpa is dead
I look at my mother again to notice that she's been crying a lot I look at my father and I can see that he's really tired probably of staying up late
I left and went back to my room
11pm
I got out of my room and went upstairs
as I got to the room of my parents I saw my mom crying silently she must not want us to hear or see her cry I guess she doesn't want my sister to see her like this...I went inside and sat beside my mother I grab her arm and let her know that I'm here for her after crying for 3 mins she stops and told me
" your grandpa's dead "
" I know....but why I thought god is protecting us "
" Daniel pls don't ever question God's intention your grandpa was the kindness man ever he was so kind that God had to make him one of his angels "
" huh is that so...I'm sorry I didn't know "
" it's OK son "
" hey mom "
" yes? "
" when should we tell Risa?...she gonna learn the truth sooner or later "
" when the time is right "
2 days have spent It's really boring on how everyone is busy preparing for grandpa's funeral my sister finally know what happen at first she cried all night but now she's quite alright to be honest her screams and cry we're not normal my sister is still quite young so knowing that was a big breakdown for her
i still manage to entertain myself using my phone my grandma earlier just cried everyone in the family did except me and my dad i dont know why but i seem to nod get sad
i just feel nothing as if it doesn't bother me
my big brother however is still gambling here everyone is but me and my sister we're in our room watching cartoons uncle grandpa my sister love's this cartoon
2 years ago
it was me and my grandpa in his bakery shop he's making me a chocolate cake
" so whatcha think? "
" wow!...this taste delicious grandpa "
" yup come on taste it
I took a bite and it was perfect wasn't so sweet wasn't so bitter it was just perfect
" mhm it's good! "
" hehe...
as I was still eating my grandpa looked at me with a serious face as if he's going to say something
" hey Dan "
" hmm?, what is it grandpa?
" I have to tell you something important ok? "
I just nod and listen to what he's going to say this is the first time my grandpa is going to tell me something serious
" listen very carefully Daniel....I'm not going to live longer I might die so I want you to be strong promise me you'll loke after your mom and sister "
I got shocked by what he said so I just nod I just didn't know what to say should I cry? should I be afraid? im confused. my mind can't keep up with the shock that it enters this state of confusing emotions making it difficult for me
" Dan...are you going to say something? "
I didn't hear him nor I wasn't paying attention I was just staring blankly at the corner thinking is this true is he joking who's going to be there with me if I'm sad who's going to make me some pastries
" Daniel! "
" huh?..what? "
....
" Daniel please be strong don't be sad..promise me you'll not be sad "
I didn't know what to say I can't promise it so I just didn't
.......
After 1 week we're finally going to Bury my grandfather everyone was crying I didn't know a lot of people loved my grandpa I don't even know some of them I look at my mother as my father is comforting her
my mother tried everything she could to help grandpa but I guess it's just how the way it is my grandpa is now dead
my chest hurts I didn't want to break my shell so that some people will see how sad I am i just want to keep it in but as the rain starts I can finally cry
a tear drop out of my eye...now I can finally cry
why?.....why?...why did he have to die?!
my chest hurts
it hurts so much
as I was crying my mom called me so I quickly gave her a straight face
" yes mom? "
" honey are you ok?, pls tell me you know you're heart is not made for feeling something like this "
oh yeah I almost forgot I have a heart disease
" yeah I'm fine don't worry "
I'm not the type of person who likes to show someone my emotions when I'm hurt I just want to stay silent
I just wish I could have done something I feel so hopeless
......
......
" hey Dan "
" hey "
" hmm?...oh uh I must of zone out..haha "
" we're you thinking about it again? "
"...yes "
" don't worry I'm here...come on just cry "
" ok...thank you "
" no need to say thank you that's how a good girlfriend should do "
to be continued.....