19 Facing Your Fears

...Kati POV...

I knew that this would happen, but I was hoping that it would not be so soon. And most of all, I was hoping that Sebastian would not have noticed it until I was ready to tell him about it. He has always loved my hair the most, the long thick locks of brown hair that he loves to tangle around his fingers. Now when he tangles them, they come untangled from the root, and I can only imagine how scary that must be for him.

So I have come to a decision, I do not want to rot away in this place anymore. I want Sebastian to show me the things of life that I have never had come to known before. Now I am not saying I want to go jump off some bridge with a rope tied to my feet. I want to know the passionate things about life; I want Sebastian to show me the things he has experienced in life. I want to walk in his footsteps every day, for walking on my own has just become one disappointment after the other.

This leads me to the one thing that I have always been known to fear the most, and that is setting my foot into the water and just letting it engulf my body. My fear of swimming has always been one of my biggest problems, and I know that this would be something that Sebastian would love to show me.

And as I watch him as he slowly starts to stir next to me. I only but have a smile on my face; he smiles back and lays a tiny kiss gently on my cheek.

"What are you smiling about so early in the morning?"

"Well, I was thinking, maybe you can teach me how to swim today?"

"Sweety, the water is cold; you are going to freeze that cute bum off the minute you step inside."

"Then I guess you will just have to warm me up afterward."

"Mmm, where is Kati, and what have you done to her? My Kati does not talk dirty?"

…Sebastian POV…

Kati is acting kind of weird, now I have known her long enough to know that she barely says a curse word. I think watching her hair fall from my fingers has torn up a new side in her. I have no idea what she goes through every day, but I am experiencing it each moment in my own way. Something gives me the idea that she is regretting her reason why she wanted to come stay here. She does not want to sit and fade away, for believe me if she wants to learn how to swim, something has happened for her to make such a drastic decision. But in saying this, it was not so much hair; it could also be from the stress her body is under; I don't think we should be jumping to conclusions yet.

But now, if she wants to go swim in that freezing water, I am going to love every minute of her hating it.

"Now come big mouth, go put that bathing suit on; I want to see this."

"Uhm…well…there is a tiny problem, I do not have one."

"What do you mean you do not have one?"

"Sebastian, I did not know you were taking me to water, so I did not pack one."

"Oh Kati, guess you will have to do it in your underwear then."

"What if I don't wear any?"

"Oh my god, I am reserving any further comments."

She only chuckles at me as she makes her way to her closet, where she pulls her bathing suit out.

"But I thought…?"

"Oh, I just wanted to see the look on your face."

"Kati, you are dead."

…Kati POV…

After another five minutes, we find ourselves walking hand in hand out to the shallow side of the river, and as I see that water bubbling furiously in a little puddle. I get shivers down my body as I am shocked scared.

"Sweetie, it is a little puddle; you have nothing to worry about."

"Yes, says Mr. Captain of the swimming team."

I watch as Sebastian steps inside to what now seems like a rather large puddle; I think I have underestimated myself. Not so much underestimate but more being stupid instead. The whole 'let's conquer my fears and do everything you have ever wanted to do', well, that is the most insane idea that anyone can come up with.

But I have said I am going to do this, and I am going to show Sebastian that I am strong enough to do it.

…Sebastian POV…

I am watching how Kati dips her toes one by one in the water; as she says, she is testing the temperature. I know that she is having serious second thoughts about this in her head. But I know that she is going to do this to show me that she can do it. And I am not going to give up for her. She wants to prove this to me, and I will let her heart rest with the peace that she did attempt to do what she set her mind to do in the first place.

So with tiny giggles and high-pitched screams, she slowly makes her way into what she says is a giant pool of water. I gently take the hand.

"Be careful; the rocks are slippery. Don't let go of my hand."

But she does not do as I ask, and in an instant, she finds herself underneath the water; just as I want to dive under, she rises to the surface with horror clearly written on her face.

"Sebastian, there is a thing underneath there; it nearly clipped me with his little claw thingy hands."

I burst out in laughter as she tiptoes around in circles, completely frightened. And now I can see the total regret on her face.

…Kati POV…

That was indeed the scariest thing I have ever seen. What on earth crawls around at the bottom of a river in any case. I think now I might not be so scared of swimming, but more of what else is lurking in the water instead. But do I still want to show Sebastian that I rather want to play it safe and stay and rot away? Well, I will not be a failure at something that I have not even tried yet.

"So are you going to teach me to swim? Are we just going to stand here and wait for that thing to come and bite me instead?"

"You sure you want to do this?"

"Yes, please, I really want to do this."

And as I say this, he pulls me a bit deeper into the river where I can barely stand on my toes. Even though it terrifies me, I know that Sebastian will never let anything happen to me. So he moves away from me, completely out of reach. He smiles at me in reassurance as he sees the panic set on to my face.

"I am here, Kati, now try to swim towards me."

"But you are so far away; can't you come a little closer?"

"Now, how would it be learning something if it was easy."

"I hope that thing bites you on your toe."

He nearly topples over from the way he is laughing. So I take a deep breath and paddle like a little puppy towards him. The only one laughing at how ridiculous I look is me. But much to my horror, he moves a little more away.

Then I stop for a second and float in the middle of the water, and surprisingly I am not sinking.

"Come, you are nearly there."

I only but shake my head and swim like some silly frog to him. Every move I make closer to him, the bigger the smile becomes on my face. He might be moving away on purpose, but I am not struggling to stay above the water like I always do. I guess determination makes you do the thing that you never thought you were capable of.

Once more, he steps one more step away from me, and as I try to move closer a bit faster than before, everything goes black, and I sink…