167 Found water, my friend

Confronting my fears always leaves me in a sour mood. I can not stand being unable to change a single thing in this matter. I just can not blindly accept the reality, although I have no other choice.

I know all too well that this affects everyone, but this knowledge does not ease the burden on my mind. The fate of others is beneath me, their demise does not have any influence on me whatsoever. What happens to them after their life ends is not something I care about.

Should I find solace in the fact, that others suffer the same outcome? Is there a need to feel pity or should I not concern myself with them? Why do I need to put down others in order to feel better? My problems do not get any easier by distracting myself with the affairs of others.

Besides, there is not much to gain much from answers to a question without an answer. Those who could provide an explanation are unfortunately no longer able to do so. Consequently, everyone can and will have to make this experience on their own.

Who was right with their answer will only be proven right there and then. But I doubt with all of my heart that the result can make each and every one of mankind happy. There can not only be winners here.

I pray that you have directed your prayers to the correct God, otherwise you have quite a bad hand.

As it turns out, you were the one that worshipped the wrong God all along and not the others as always expected. Do not fret, every god can understand that. Because to be mistaken is known to be the human way.

Why would any being be mad at the believers who change their faith simply out sheer of convenience? Surely one would welcome this kind of person with open arms.

All is then forgiven and forgotten, for we who were created in his image have proven our ability to forgive and forget often enough. That poor god that is forced to deal with the scrouge known as human.

For the sake of everyone involved let a human be in charge of evaluating another human. Finding a human impartial enough to actually take up that role is the main problem. Though with infinite timeless and countless worlds there has to be one amongst them that fulfils the quota.

The very fortunate person would probably have preferred to win the lottery instead of receiving this honour. Well, I would prefer the money regardless of what comes up. That is probably one of the reasons why I would never be considered for this role in the first place.

Yet, for no amount of money in the world would I listen to all the moaning and bitching day in and day out. Every single one of them would be sent to hell as a preemptive measure. And you can be sure, I will wear the biggest smile while I do that.

I hope that hell has a lot of room to spare, should I ever be in charge. There will never be heaven when my life is hell, that much should be certain.

Well, the current circumstances do not speak for a much better environment. This scale still does what it wants and I am the one who suffers. The distribution of roles is one aspect that could be overhauled.

Above all, I am not satisfied with the approach. To put it bluntly: I see the greatest potential for improvement here. A better treatment would be the least I can expect. I haven't signed a contract that binds me, the chains are responsible for that.

The handling of the creatures also needs to be viewed critically because the scale forces its will on everyone. Some day I might find myself in their position and I could do nothing against it.

But in the end, it is just another way to die. On the long list of possible causes of death, it is only one of many and barely noticeable anymore. Complaining loudly is the only thing I can do about it and whether this strategy can achieve anything is more than questionable.

The muttering of the friendly magician beside me also eludes my understanding and I ask myself again what is he trying to tell me? How much time would I need to understand this language and do I even have enough time left?

Maybe we find a very primitive way of communication, Having any other aspirations would not serve any purpose and is beyond unrealistic. If I were intelligent enough to figure that out I would not have ended up in this situation in the first place. Also, I am not opposed to this whole thing playing out a bit differently.

Alas, fairness was not my middle name and everything had been rigged from the start. I do not need more hints to understand the situation I am in. It would be truly embarrassing to not notice the truth directly in front of my eyes.

It is hard to imagine that someone out there would be unable to see right through all of this. Well, ignorance can be considered as some sort of bliss, so this person must truly be blessed. A special kind of obliviousness is needed to not see something like that coming.

While I had been busy with discussing the lack of foresight of some people, the scale had finally finished sucking the wolfs dry and I was temporarily let go. Although this freedom of mine was not meant to last, I enjoyed not being used as a human purifier.

Many words can be used to describe the sensation I have to endure, but it would take a considerable amount of time to find a positive one for it. It felt like my innermost self was violently toyed with and constantly injured.

The pain I have felt seemed so surreal, but frighteningly real at the same time. It was a sensation unlike any other and, quite frankly, I doubt that anyone on Earth would come to experience it. There are still a lot of inexplicable mysteries out there and this certainly is one of them.

What lies behind these great unknowns? I am afraid only time can tell since I am just a mere gear in this gigantic machinery. Without knowing my place or function it is hard to determine what all of this is about.

I could only sigh, this matter could not be solved simply by pondering on the issue. Everything could be so easy if only that was the case. But no, there is no such thing as free food in this type of environment.

I am left with no other choice other than to wander around aimlessly; just trying my best to survive. First and foremost I still need to secure a water source, since my biological urges will become a problem sooner or later.

Because I had not really considered where all the food that had entered through my mouth went. I mean what comes in also leaves in one form or another. Yet as of now I never truly had the feeling, that I needed to relieve myself or empty my bowels.

What was going on with my body? After a quick and precise movement of my left hand I was able to confirm that down below I still was a man. Not a very mighty one, but at this point in time I can not complain.

I was deeply grateful that I found certain normality at last. In the midst of all of this madness, it was reassuring to know that not everything had changed. Feeling my manhood should normally not cause such emotion to surface, but I am just glad that I still hold such an attachment.

Although its size paled to the previous, I was still filled with great elation as I had avoided becoming a eunuch. Technically speaking as long as it is not proven that I have not been castrated I can hold such a title.

Not being able to conceive children would not be a big loss for me, but I still would like to have functioning equipment. On the off-chance that such a situation arises, I want to be prepared, missing out on something like this in 2 worlds would be inexcusable.

Further investigation into this matter had to wait as this was neither the right time nor the right place to conduct any more tests. I am not going to do anything more here while the magician feverishly watches my every movement.

Sorry, but I am not into that kind of stuff and nor do I intend to do it close to the corpse of the wolves I have killed. Desecrating their bodies is also not something I wish to do. My morals may have decayed but I do not go out of my way to behave like that.

For the time being, I should intensify my search for water and scout the surroundings. With the magician at my side, I am not afraid of any monsters whatsoever. A BBQ is something I would never decline.

Although finding something when you are as blind as a mole is certainly a very daring endeavour. The only things that I had managed to lay my hands on were remains and danger.

Every other thing seemed to have ceased existing and I was caught in the perpetual maelstrom of death and decay. Regardless where my legs carried me the surroundings remained in the same fixed state.

This monotony was a renewed attack on my psyche and wore me down all over again. Even my chatty company had given up on speaking and followed me without saying a word. I whistled a random tune to fill this oppressive silence with something else.

The results were mediocre at best as the sound that left my lips became distorted as it echoed in the distance. I had only succeeded in making the situation much more sinister and creepy.

The monster themselves did not pose a danger to me and the few that still dared to come close were promptly incinerated. Sadly even their cries of pain and terror were only a brief intermission before the previous tranquillity returned.

Step by step I ventured onwards and followed a path that knew no end. Regardless of where I stopped the outcome never changed. Without any ideas or strategies, I had no other choice but to wander on in hopes of discovering what I desire.

At times I truly wonder is there a purpose behind of it or is this merely just a metaphor of how little importance I am? My journey is stagnant and even though I change I still find myself with the same results.

I can not help myself and a feeling of nostalgia overcame me. I had been on the same route numerous times by now and I always spot myself treading the same path with renewed vigour. Fascinating that I always end up in the same place.

Am I repeating the same mistakes that lead me onto this all too familiar direction or is everything I do destined to reach this conclusion? What do I seek, when the goal might not even exist?

Is it not irrelevant what all of this means? Am I not forcing myself to make the same mistakes by trying to find the common cause behind my misery? Strangely enough, I am not sure anymore.

I was never one of those who had a clear idea of where life would take them nor was I anyone who was willingly following the ideal route someone else had chosen for me. Walking through life with my eyes was something I considered to be more than enough.

Still, I never discovered any traces of happiness by doing that. I only stumble on questions, whose answers remain unsatisfying to me. Regardless of how deep I dug, it was still too shallow.

Nothing I found could fill the void, everything just made it worse. I was shovelling my own grave yet I was blinded by my own foolishness. To me, there is not any other path to find that something that so many people seem to have that I do not.

As chance would have it, I found myself in a state of weightlessness the next moment, but gravity brought me back down to earth. Unfortunately, there was no earth under my feet but the long-awaited liquid.

With my body now being covered in something which I could only hope to be water, I pulled myself out accompanied by a heavy groan of annoyance.

Neither joy nor elation did materialize; only a bitter feeling of disappointment remained.

The stench of the rotten environment still clung to me and lingered in my nostrils. The fifth has become more than just a part of myself and it seems that the smell has rather intensified.

I genuinely had no great expectations, but the exact opposite was not necessarily what I was looking for. I might as well just roll around on the ground and embrace all the mucus left behind by those creatures.

Fear me, for I have become one with the odour. Stay away or face the wrath of chemical warfare.

It was like a sewage pipe and trash dump came together to form an ugly deformed baby. Raised on the cemetery without an influx of air, it had been fed only the most disgusting and mouldy food and drank only the most contaminated water.

It was as breathtaking as visiting a bar full of smokers and as sobering as a walk in the red-light milieu in the morning hours. In short, it was as appealing as freshly produced rancid vomit.

Although the worst part was, that it was just like pesky relatives, it stayed far longer than necessary.

If only the water itself would taste better but it was just as gruesome as the weaponized sensation that had found its new home in my nose. My sense of smell suddenly seemed a lot less important to me.

Why does everything here have to be such a negative extreme? I will have to exchange some serious words with the one behind all of this. There has to be a limit on what is deemed tolerable and this has crossed every last line of sensibility.

With a heavy heart, I began to suppress my urge to throw up and forced the liquid down my throat. I did not drink much to see if there are any toxins or other things in the water. You might never know what exactly these wicked and nefarious beings have in store for me.

Someone who is capable of creating something like this should never be underestimated. I should never antagonize them unless I have the strength I need in order to face them. Being haughty or conceited will only lead to my demise.

After waiting for quite some time I was relieved that the water at least seemed drinkable without resulting any repercussions. This time around I throw my entire head underwater and drank as much as I could.

After filling myself up with the liquid of life or whatever this liquid was I began to think about the other issues at hand. Finding food and water was merely the beginning, there was a lot of planning to do if I wanted to survive here.

I had a certain vision of what I was trying to achieve, but it was sheer insanity to even tackle such a thing. Yet, I was not someone who would falter in front of my own stupidity. Rather I was intrigued where this idea would guide me to.

The poor magician that followed me had no idea of the lunatic idea that had formed in my mind and I was looking forward to whatever will happen. Although I am sure that none of the people in charge would even dare to think I would do something like this.

They would declare that I had lost my mind and I would agree with them. Because this is where the fun begins.