Chapter 2

12 years later, and the city has already moved on from the tragedy that took place. Well almost everyone did. The sun was shining, and the city was bustling, and zipping around was Galaxus, 'saving' people from burglars and other minor villains. How cute that such a man is spending his time saving measly peasants when he should be saving himself! I swung a large telephone pole overtop of Galaxus's head, sending him flying through the city. Standing inside of an epic giant battle robot, dressed in devilishly nice clothing was me, Wayne, or should I say…

"Cosmineum the all powerful!" I shouted through my robotic voice at Galaxus who flew up into the air.

Galaxus cracked his neck, and got ready to charge forward, but I had already planned for this, which showed my clearly superior intellect in this instance. I pressed a button on the console and snickered to myself.

"This time hero, I have enough power to completely destroy you and your pathetic city! Prepare to meet your doom!!!" I said, pushing the joysticks to control the robot, forward.

A large gun came out of my amazingly awesome robot's left arm. Now you see, this gun was no ordinary gun, but in fact, was a gun that channelled the very energy of the sun to fire a large ray of energy. Think of it like a very powerful magnifying glass. Galaxus charged forward, as predicted, but instead of going for my head, went for the arm with the gun. Before I noticed his change of target, I raised the gun and fired it, creating a huge explosion that destroyed an entire city block. Awesome. What's not awesome is that Galaxus managed to fly straight through the arm with the gun, destroying it entirely. I growled as I turned around to throw a punch, which did land, and sent Galaxus flying into a building. I laughed to myself proudly as rubble crumbled from the building. Sure enough, Galaxus came out of the rubble in blinding speed, sending small rock pieces flying.

"Cosmineum…even after all the losses you have been dealt, you still think you can defeat me?" Galaxus cockily asked.

I snickered and then groaned, realizing he was right. You see, me and Galaxus have fought a total of 17 different times and the record so far was 0-17. I…hadn't won one…YET, but that was going to change shortly. I stomped forward until my large robotic head got face to face with Galaxus.

"No matter how many times I get knocked down, I will always get back up and find some way to defeat you. I don't care what it takes, I will be the one to kill you!" I angrily shouted through the robotic head.

Galaxus brushed off one of his shoulders and crossed his arms with pride. Have I mentioned how much I hate Galaxus yet?

"That sounds like something a hero should say, not a villain." Galaxus scoffed.

I growled and stepped backwards, getting into a battle position. One arm should have been plenty to take him down, emphasis on 'should'. The robot jabbed a finger at Galaxus.

"I may be the villain in your story, Galaxus, but I'm the hero in mine!" I snarled angrily, rage filling inside my soul.

Galaxus sighed and lowered his arms and closed his eyes. A few moments passed in silence. I knew full well not to make the first move against a foe like Galaxus, and I'm sure he knew not to make the first move on such a formidable foe I-

In that exact moment, Galaxus threw a high speed punch straight into the torso of the robot, which somehow held up very nicely. My robot was sent back a bit, forcing me to use my one hand to grab onto the side of some buildings to halt my movement. Before I could get ready for another attack, the attack arrived already and sent my robot flying high into the air.

"GRAGH!!!" I screamed as I was forcefully sent out of my controller seat and into the back of the robot head.

A siren blared and a warning showed up on a large holographic screen that Galaxus was approaching at a very high speed. I gasped in surprise and lunged forward, quickly slamming a fist onto a large red button. The robotic voice worded the action of what was happening: "Ejecting in T-minus 10…"

THERE'S A COUNTDOWN?! WHY DID SHE PUT A COUNTDOWN ON THE EJECTION?! A bunch of angry thoughts filled my head as a very fast Galaxus sped towards my robot. Right before Galaxus hits my robot for the final time, the ejection activated and I was teleported back to my super evil and secret lair, where my trusty villainous minion, Grace, waited for me. As I teleported into the lair, I face-planted into the ground, which was embarrassing for me to do in front of Grace, who came over instantly upon my arrival.

"My lord! Are you alright?" She asked, worried.

I kept my face planted on the floor for a couple more seconds, letting the pain of hitting solid concrete dissipate.

"What does it look like?" I asked.

Grace shrugs and lifts me off the ground. When she stands me up, I pull myself, gently, out of her grasp and start moving towards the monitor which showed Galaxus completely destroying the robot, and with the fire that came from the robot, Galaxus spelled out 18-0. My blood boiled and popped with absolute and complete rage. I slammed my fist onto the desk and growled to myself.

"Dammit! Why the hell does he have to be so strong?! Every time we build the most powerful invention, he always thwarts it and beats me!" I frustratedly growled to myself, rubbing my eyes.

Grace placed a hand on my shoulder, trying to comfort me. Now if there is one thing that makes me extra angry with a side of anger, it is a failure trying to comfort me, almost as if they were calling me a failure. I slapped Grace's hand off my shoulder and spun around to face her, jabbing a pointer finger in her chest. Upon impacting her chest, I moved my hand away, realizing I had hit a female's chest.

"Do you think you have any right to comfort me?! If I recall, YOU were the one who had built the battle machine of ultimate scary horrifying doom 9000!!! If anybody should be comforted it should be…still me, but not by you! Especially not by you!" I said in her face.

She backed up and I followed her, moving forward and following her. Before I could give her a fitting punishment for her failure, she raised her hands in defense. I might as well give her a chance to give a disappointing excuse at the very LEAST.

"At least I built a very nice ejection system..?..!" She nervously stated but also asked at the same time.

Nevermind, this excuse was absolutely idiotic.

"You think that the ejection system was very nice huh? YOU THINK IT WAS CLEVERLY DESIGNED?!?!?!" I screamed in her face.

A moment of silence passed.

".....yes?...." Grace squeaked.

Completely out of rage from her stupid remark, I grabbed her hair and started to drag her through the lair towards the construction room, where a bunch of robotic inventions lied, awaiting to be finished. The room was the biggest in the lair by far, truly a spectacle to be seen. When Grace first came to me asking to be my villainous side-kick, the first thing I did was give her the title of minion, THEN I had my robot minions build a construction room for her to build all of my diabolical inventions for taking over the world…and clearly also for losing to Galaxus! I let go of Grace as we approached the blueprints table. The blueprint currently on the table was of a super charged vibrat-

"Grace, sweet Jesus, what have I said about stuff like this?!" I uncomfortably asked her, crumbling the blueprint and pushing it from off of the desk.

She moved her arms forward a bit, like she wanted to save it, but then pulled it back, realizing that I was standing right in front of her. Anyway, underneath the sexual blueprint was the layout for the battle bot. I slammed my hands onto the desk and examined it, waiting for Grace to join me and do the same, but she never did, so I grabbed the back of her head and pulled her down so she could see the blueprint. Very clearly on the robots head, a countdown for the ejection was described in great detail. I snarled as I jabbed a finger directly at it. Grace let out a very dumb 'oooooooh' as I pointed at it. I groaned as I threw her backwards.

"Look, Grace, if we're going to beat every hero on the planet we need to build inventions that actually have capabilities to BEAT THE HEROES! Like for example, when you built the Time Beater to defeat Shadow, the speedster, that was good! When you built the Shadow Contraption, that was good! But when you put a fucking countdown on an ejection which should, by definition, be INSTANTANEOUS, I start to lose faith that we can achieve our goal!" I shouted at her, walking through the room, showing her each invention that she particularly excelled in making.

Grace bowed apologetically, and pulled out a piece of paper from her back pocket, which probably had nothing to do with the current conversation we were having.

"I deeply apologize for my lackluster performance, my lord, I will build better inventions in the near future." She rolled out the piece of paper and began to read it. "Also, speaking of heroes, I think you should know that Stalagaminion was killed by Lord Hellstar last week." She gave a 'father son holy spirit' as she spoke.

Ah…ok so it had nothing to do with what we were talking about but even still…that's pretty sad news. I lowered my head in respect. Stalagminion was a good hero, one of the best in my opinion. Such a shame that he had to be killed by such a pathetic villain like Hellstar. I walked towards a board that hung on the backmost wall of the room and placed a picture of Stalagminion on the board. Where did I get this picture from? Who knows?

"Damn, what a tragedy, he was truly a good hero. We will hold a funeral for him…never….NOW back to business. Grace." I said loudly, catching her attention.

Grace looked up, ready for whatever order I was about to give. Her posture straightened and stiffened like a military soldier in response to their generals orders. I pulled a remote out of my back pocket, because for some reason when I was fighting earlier, I decided to keep a remote that controlled the entire lair with me. I pressed a button on the remote and a large screen very slowly rolled down from the ceiling. I watched, dumbfounded as the screen ever so slowly came down from the ceiling. Everything I own…was really built by a bunch of idiots. I facepalmed as it continued to roll down millimeter by millimeter. I groaned and spun around to face Grace, who instantly raised her hands in defense.

"ROBOT MINIOOOOONS!!!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, my voice filled with frustration.

Just as everything did in this god forsaken place, the robot minions arrived as slow as humanly possible. I grabbed my head with both my hands as if to try and stop myself from falling over. The robot minions slowly made their way to form a line in front of me. The robots started to fight each other over who should be first in line like a bunch of school kids. I can't blame that part of their incorrigible design, after all I made them with Grace when I was still a child at 14. I walked forward QUICKLY towards the robots and loomed over them. Damn I love myself.

"Tell me robots, why does everything that we make have to be so slow?" The robots tried to point at Grace, "Ohhhhh, no you don't, this one isn't on Grace, YOU were the ones who built this room FOR Grace, so take responsibility for your actions and fix it."

I pointed to the projector screen which was moving so slowly that it wasn't even halfway down yet. The robots all looked at each other, nodded and flew over to the screen mechanics at the top, and surprisingly, quickly began working on it. After a few minutes, the projector rolled down the rest of the way at a tolerable speed. Now, it might be good to explain that Grace was not the one who built the robots, I made them. I realized that I wasn't going to be able to beat Galaxus out of pure strength alone, so I built mini robot minions to aid me in battle. Instead of aiding me in battle, I failed in my construction of them and they became minions that could only build things. As ingenious as my inventions are, they all come at a pretty hefty price to have around. Grace has built so many inventions for me that it's become increasingly hard to organize anything anymore. Plus, some stuff we just never needed to have in the first place….like a friggin' super vibrator that Grace wanted to make!!! Once the robots finished the revisions on the projector, they flew down so they were right in front of me, face-to-face. I nodded at each of them.

"Well done my robo minions. Now please leave me and Grace's presence. Except you robo minion #1," I grabbed the first robo minion in line, "for YOUR job, I want you to go and scout all possible areas where heroes might be hiding. Go now." I demanded.

Without a second thought, all of the robo-minions flew off to go and do their specified tasks, leaving me and Grace alone in the room. I sighed, annoyed, as this has just wasted so much of my precious time, and spun around, tapping a button on the remote control once more. Sure enough, and thankfully enough, a data graph appeared on screen. I let out a sigh of relief this time at the sight of my evilly made graph. I don't know what I would have done if the picture either slowly appeared or just didn't appear at all. Actually, I probably would have destroyed robo-minions #1-4. Grace walked forward until she was next to me and looked up at the graph.

"What is this my lord?" She asked.

I clapped my hands together and walked closer towards the screen.

"I'm so glad you asked my deviously clever employee who I force to do tasks and am definitely not calling a slave! For this, is the current hero population on planet earth. Ever since our crusade of wiping out all of hero kind, I have kept track of the hero population, and so far…" I pointed to the graph, only now realizing that instead of the parabola being positive, it was downwards in the negatives, "...we're not doing so well, which is why I wanted to show you this, so that you can see your failure and work off of it!" I said cheerfully walking back towards Grace.

I slung my arm around her shoulder and tapped another button on the remote, which changed the slide to another. This slide had a wonderful picture of-

"A puppy?! Oh my g- no, you know what? Screw this, I'm getting to the point! The point is that in order for me to be the greatest villain of all time, I have to be the ONLY villain alive." I said, frustrated.

Grace cocked her head, not understanding what I was saying. Typical minion Grace, never understanding anything that I say.

"How does that deal with the problem of all the hero's existence?" She asked.

"From your report, heroes are already being killed by other villains, and not. By. US! That's a big no-no in my book of villainy 101! I want to be the ONLY one who kills the heroes that live on this planet. Soooooo in order to have my wish fulfilled there is only one thing that we can and will do." I replied.

I spun the remote in my hand with much finesse and grabbed it perfectly, while pressing the biggest red button on the remote. The lights in the room went completely dark, and a single red spotlight shone onto a hole in the floor, which had just opened up. I turned to face Grace again and stretched my arms out wide, presenting what was coming out of the floor.

"We will eradicate every other villain that exists! Evil will be decimated so that it can grow correctly!!! WITH US!!!" I shouted proudfully.

Grace leaned to the side to see if anything was behind me. Of course there was something behind me, I had pressed the button for my greatest invention to arise from the earth. I turned around as well to see what she was looking at only to see the most blood boiling thing of all time.

"ROBO MINIOOOONS WHY IS THE JET RISING UP SO SLOOOOW?!?!?!" I roared at the top of my lungs, stomping a foot on the ground angrily.

After 30 minutes passed, the jet finally made its way to where it should be. I turned back around to face Grace again, and, after checking one last time behind me to make sure that the jet was actually staying upright in the air, outstretched my arms to present my most diabolic invention. Grace, upon seeing it, clapped gleefully. I spun around to see the jet in its full glory. This baby I did build myself a couple of years after becoming a villain. I knew that I had to make quick escapes away from some pesky heroes, so a jet was the best way to go.

"This, Grace, will be our key to travelling around the world to find and kill every single villain known to mankind. Of course though…I won't be able to do it alone. I'm going to need some help from my most trusted ally." I looked her directly in the eye, hoping that she would think I would pick her.

Sure enough, my plan backfired and she knew immediately that I wouldn't pick her. A robo-minion flew in the second I said 'trusted ally' and awaited my commands. How loyal. Unfortunately as well, she wasn't disappointed with my decision and just continued to stay back. Well, I can't leave her feeling right, so I sighed and waved my hand, dismissing the robo-minion. The robo-minion gave a sad look and solemnly flew out of the room. Grace's posture stiffened even more, almost as if she anticipated what I was going to say next, and was excited for it. Damn it. I hate being good.

"Grace." I said, putting my face into my palm.

Her eyes lit up in excitement. I think it's safe to say she knew exactly what I was about to say. I pointed to her and looked between my pointer and thumb at her with one eye.

"Do you want to go with me on this little crusade of mine?"

Good lord that was embarrassing. Being kind just feels so…weird. It always has been ever since the first day I hired Grace. I can remember it so clearly, the screams of the poor students that harassed me and the cries of the parents when they heard what happened. It was on that day that I spared Grace, and she became my devious minion. Ah that's right I never told you about that, because I, the incredible villain that I am, redacted that information from you! You may never know that I killed an entire school of classmates after they laughed at me for not having any powers!!!

…

I said that out loud didn't I? Oh my. I'm just having a day aren't I? ANYWAY! Grace jumped with delight as I offered her the chance of a lifetime. She immediately nodded and ran over to my side.

"Of course! I would love to join you on this amazing quest!" She gleefully replied.

I raised my hand and snapped my fingers, and in a matter of seconds over 1000 robo-minions had swarmed inside of the construction room, covering every square inch that surrounded me and Grace. I put my hands behind my back and raised my chin high, since I was the leader I didn't want to make myself look like a disappointing authority in their robotic servos and mainframes.

"Attention, all robo-minions! I am going to embark on a perilous quest in a few weeks. Now, in order to successfully be prepared for this conquest of ours, I need to be fully prepared and know that the city will be in good hands-I mean gears. Grace will provide the basic blueprints for the gadgets and gizmos I will need in order to embark. Am I making myself perfectly clear to those in the back???" I said loudly.

All of the robo-minions, including Grace, nodded and let out a very loud 'Yes sir!'. Everything was going exactly according to plan. Nothing can stop me and my conquest now!

*ALERT! ALERT! GALAXUS APPROACHING LAIR!*

Oh yeah, I forgot…everything I do gets backfired instantly by some goddamn pesky hero.

"You have gotta be kidding me…" I mumbled to myself, giving myself one last facepalm.