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Reviews of Book 1 of the System Series: In Remnant with Persona System

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Book 1 of the System Series: In Remnant with Persona System

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  • Overall Rate
  • Writing Quality
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  • Story Development
  • Character Design
  • world background

Reviews37

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Oniichan_Thickskin
Oniichan_ThickskinLv13Oniichan_Thickskin

YESSS!!! YOU'RE HERE!!!! I'M ONE OF YOUR FAN ON FANFICTION?! NOTICE ME SENPAI!!! NOTICE ME!!! I followed your Gamer series though, not really interested in the Persona system as I do not really like the anime that well.

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Swordking123
Swordking123Lv10Swordking123

MC suffers from weak will syndrome. He has no backbone and it's really annoying. I know it is a personal preference but I greatly dislike MCs that just give up holding any sort of argument with women and just go with the flow, it's far too overused and annoying.

dragonmage124
dragonmage124Lv5dragonmage124

had to drop it by chapter 5 for a few reasons 1) parents of mc do nothing to teach mc (stopping him from zoning out like a corpse, or anything really they seem to think of him as an extra thus making me dislike the story even more then the other reasons since in a world where danger is everywhere teaching your kids the basics to live should be natural yet author pushes mc aside saying since he did poor in the first time he held a gun 2 adults [were one is just watching and not doing anything] were better at teaching one kid that showed some talent at swinging a sword) even when he is 5-6 yrs old 2)mc does nothing to learn on his own (really learning since if he did not space out so much and actually listened to his mom when she told him how to use the gun he might have hit that target without going out of his way to miss just "too see if she cared" when over his 5+ years she showed no care for him to the point he can even think she would not blink to remove him from his own twin if the twin did not complain) he just jumps at learning from the system with no questioning or hesitation he STEALS dust crystals from his own home (while knowing that they are costly items with lots of uses) or why he even is ok with it in the first place while even thinking of STEALING from others just to get system points to do things he has not been taught 3) without asking his parents about anything about aura too see if it has any training methods he picks self training and buying magic (to drain aura for said self made aura training) all the while knowing others may/can sense the drop in aura when using magic (and not thinking of possible risk like if magic is only usable by women or even asking/learning about different aura usages) 4)mc has a weak personality in 5 chapters we get more zoned out monologues and system info dumps while mc getting dragged around by someone since he lacks both awareness to the world around him and is constantly focusing on his monologues and system 5)lack of world building i can understand before he started speaking not learning anything but after (even if not for him since his parents show the little care they had for him while caring for his sister) having them learn to read/write/speak and get a general understanding of the world could have easily been done to start world building after all as a somewhat well off family that has lot of tools [unknown how costly writing tools are since no general teachings where given but since they had a lot of weapons , dust , writing scrolls i think they have to be well off since i never watched nor read rwby] teaching basics should have been normal..we do not even know how big of a house his is living in since all we get is he went to the yard the kitchen or the twins bedroom to tell us where he is at 6)in chapter 4 or 5 he just uses magic and tells a girl about his system with no awareness of the people that may be near or listening while knowing that others can be sensitive to aura usage [or even have better hearing since he never learns anything about anyone or anything]which was the last straw that told me this possible good story was ruined for my taste (since i only got a headache reading all the monologues, info dumps, foolishness of someone who is thinking of training to be strong enough to survive yet is constantly zoning out to the point anyone can move right next to him while his eyes are open and not notice even while constantly telling himself in those monologues that he needs to stay aware but instead of trying to stop zoning out he thinks only to buy some skills, all the while not gaining anything in the way of knowledge of the world around him only using what little he seems to remember from the story/show about the world to be his base of understanding ) the way the system was made was well thought out and might even have been great if things were different with the mc or even how due to him constantly knowing that much of it is locked he gets focused only on the system so early

CityPopShark
CityPopSharkLv6CityPopShark

As your Devoted fan!!! im gonna vote for you everyday :D my user in fanfiction is scoth312. The Gamer is finally here heuheuheu Don't worry about the haters. I support you no matter what Just don't abandon you story pleaseeeee

ANIfan08
ANIfan08Lv4ANIfan08

The premise shows so much potential. As rather than a MC following/growing up with Ruby and Yang, we have an MC who grows up with Pyrrha. Sadly, the story goes downhill asap. I couldn't make it past chapter 14, even then I skimmed over the last few chapters I read. Grammar and writing is below average for the site. It can be overlooked if the story is even halfway decent. But sadly that's not the case. MC is a reincarnator, with memories, with access to a system. You expect him to be at least above average in strength/ability. But sadly he has an IQ of -10. Utterly stupid and unredeemable. Even worse, he is so underpowered it's not even funny. He relies on the system for the most mundane of things, like learning how to dodge (because God forbid he learn anything like a normal person), yet still struggles to keep up with other children his age. It might not be the most fleshed out system in a novel, but the way he uses it is a waste of potential. Plot was okay, and then it became a mess 10 chapters in. He is neglected by his parents, okay. But it's not an excuse to not know anything about the world. It's not an excuse to take over a year to progress in a ****** skill such as marksmanship (beginner to trainee). Suddenly separated from Pyrrha with no explanation other than 'Nikos Family rules' and you're not old enough. Meets a stalker and within a minute decides to 'form a team' with him, whatever that means. Goes on a 'training trip' with said stalker and no supervision. World building is non-existent. Mistral is portrayed as some sort of dungeon entity with multiple floors. Completely unnecessary. Parent characters were okay when they were around, but there's too much unnecessary mystery with no hopes of the MC ever solving it. But the worst thing is the insert of characters from other anime worlds. The story would have been so much better without random anime characters appearing out of thin air. It just doesn't need to be this kind of novel. Readable, but not worth it at all. Even among 'waste of time' fan-fics that plague webnovel, this takes the cake. Could have been amazing.

Moneybag
MoneybagLv5Moneybag

Reveal spoiler

Kurounos
KurounosLv5Kurounos

You are finally here. Already know how to rate you even without reading here. If more fanfiction writers come here, they aould finally discover the beauty of wuxias and xianxias.

Lukas_Winchester
Lukas_WinchesterLv11Lukas_Winchester

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Ansiliden
AnsilidenLv14Ansiliden

Ya know i reallt liked this book... until the ending. I broke my phone from that ending. I mean did blake mean nothing? What the **** was salems death i mean punch soul snack leave. I was so mad.

Vastoking
VastokingLv5Vastoking

I even have a 5 star on this pls continue😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😣😣😣😣😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😢😢😢😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😫😫😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😢😢😢😢😢😢😢🙁☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹😭😭😭

iHateNovels666
iHateNovels666Lv5iHateNovels666

Reveal spoiler

8Hikki8
8Hikki8Lv148Hikki8

The writing is good, concept is good, anything else is good but the MC design. Weak willed MC, getting pushed around, sharing secret of his life, can't learn to increase his awareness even if his life depends on it, just dislike it. I understand the adorableness of the twin sister, especially the supposedly younger twin, but your fiancée to be, yeah not my kind of jam. Thank you though for the early chapter.

Bhyrel
BhyrelLv12Bhyrel

i hope that this novel didn't get dropped cause i start to loving it.weell i don't know what to say but keep up the good wort.😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

Madara_Uchika
Madara_UchikaLv3Madara_Uchika

i just give 5 stars to good stories cause they deserve it in my opinion so here ya go i think u deserve it and your a good writer and making novels aint as easy as it may seem or fanfic in this case

Daoist7fduQH
Daoist7fduQHLv1Daoist7fduQH

Очень странный стиль повествования, просто тяжело читать. Бесконечные... троеточия... заставляют... чувствовать... себя... дауном... когда.. читаешь... Не понимаю: главный герой - даун или автор - даун? Поток мыслей у главного героя настолько размыт, что кажется, будто у него отсутствует часть мозга. Читаю произведение и просто не понимаю, что читаю - какой сейчас год, какие у всех уровни силы, насколько силен главный герой и т. д.(у меня такое в первый раз, а я читал сотни произведений).

leo_Godless
leo_GodlessLv14leo_Godless

............ . . .........................................................................................................................................................................

HadesChampion
HadesChampionLv4HadesChampion

As always your story is unnecessarily dark and chapter super long when a simple time skip would save us hours of training montage and monologue. Meh

Notegemel
NotegemelLv4Notegemel

Love the fanfic

Notegemel
NotegemelLv4Notegemel

Love persona series, nothing more ,nothing less.

DarkDawning
DarkDawningLv5DarkDawning

Things to consider In one of your chapters I read that the Mc can gain system points by killing humans(aura locked) bit in the later chapters I read that he can only get it from grimm The chapter I think was about the mc charging the managun to shoot down the airships holding people and grimm Pls check People that are only acquainted with rwby will only get a part of how it should look like example Where are the kingdoms situated What is grimmland What is badlands Some are self explanatory some need further elaboration I feel like the ending was rushed because the system points from what I have read from your fanfic Is powerful capable of giving him persona Able to regenerate aura to the peak giving pills the causes an outer guard to sleep Shouldn't the mc have thought by now that he Can extended his body's lifespan C'mon The system is capable of giving pills that force sleeps an outer god (nyathorlep) But for the last tume before passing the system on can't get pills that strengthen the body for a couple of years until his daughter's maturity All I'm saying is that it's sad to think that the mc is forced out of rwby universe because of a Strong soul Didn't get to spend time with his loved ones and possibly their offspring I saw conflict I saw solutions I saw deepening of bonds and creating new ones the biggest negative is a better execution of the ending The biggest positive is the realisticv reactions on a number of things not all of the situations but I think more than half give or take Such as favoritism Fear of criminals Betrayals