4 my peace

hey i'm back i'm not dead just adding more parts to the book but i'm no going to show you all at once because you know what's the fun in that

lso you can listen to the song while you read

OK lets BEGAN

being dragged along by your hair is very painful but i don't FELL anything i'm numb. I'm numb physically and mentally i feel nothing and that not what they want they want me to fell there pain they want me to fell the pain they caused me and not just the physical pain but the mental pain too these people want to drive me crazy to the point of wanting to willingly let them cause me pain for there own sick pleasures to the point where I will laugh as they beat me or **** me to that point of numb and to wish for The death they'll never give me and I'm so close and I'm more scared of losing my humanity I have to be strong for my mate for my life line I have to be strong for my only escape. I wouldn't be the messed up broken little girl i'm am now i wouldn't be this damaged or crazy i wouldn't be this sad or mad or sacred i would be different pure even as i continued to be dragged by my hair. Chunks of my skin being cut off by the jagged rocks they purposely put here when they want to use me they want me to feel a little bit more pain just before the agony I think to the back to the first time the the dragged me down this path when the rocks were as sharp as freshly made daggers I remember every second when they placed me on my stomach and used wax strips to get the access skin off. When they poured burnt grease on my bloody back forcing salt into the gashes letting bird's eat at my flesh as i hang from a tree 40 feet off the ground by my fingers for a week before they remember that they left me there and that was just the first week. I don't know how long I was being dragged when we suddenly stopped and I was thrown into a tub of boiling hot water and was told that I had 10 minutes to clean my self I was in so much pain because I hadn't healed from when they peeled off layers of my skin. Cleaning my self as good as I can with out causing myself more pain. When the 10 minutes were up the alpha came back in and pulled me out by my hair and was given a clean plain white gown that a toddler would wear to bed to put on and was told to walk to the coliseum and sit in the far back stay quiet and don't move or I was going to be punished by the whole pack after our visitors left. Petrified I stayed sill and my followed instructions I sat there on the ground as the coliseum was being filled. The last people that came in were my family both my parents and my brother and sister smirked at me as they walked pass mouthing worthless and other insults ate as they walked pass. Fighting back screams and tears at the same time as I tried to stay calm but the burning sensation I my chest just grew more intense as I looked at their backs. I can practically feel the joy radiate off them as they see me in such grueling pain. Me not even realizing that our visitors are starting to speak I let out a deafening scream loud enough to crack the walls of the coliseum and make ears bleed I don't know how I got to the center of the coliseum but I did all eye were on me starting and the Filth of the pack their unwanted baggage and I took the glass shard from my scock and held it to my throat "the last thing I wanted to the monsters of this pack is I don't know what I did to make you all hate me I don't know what I did to deserve this but I'm sorry and I'm sorry to my mate were ever you are I'm sorry I didn't make it to see you I just couldn't hold on much longer I wouldn't have been able to leave my box to find you but its ok I sill have my dream" I held the glass shard deeper into my throat and tore it open I could feel the blood staining the white gown I had no creating a pool of Scarlett red blood around me and as my eye dulled and my vision went black I felt so calm it felt so serine my body hit the ground and it felt like I started floating then everything went black.************************

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