15 Chapter Fifteen

Warning: Sexual content Ahead.

Robbin's POV

"Robbin." Lilliana's voice was calling me, but her voice was fleeting. The sudden wave of dehydration dulled my body with every inch is covered, leaving me without a word to respond. This was something I hadn't experienced in some time but was familiar, the feeling of complete abandonment. Stuck without anyone to help me.

The drying feeling washed over and a stinging sensation now caressed me, slowly creeping up my height in the most torturous way.

"Robbin!" Lilliana's disoriented words almost flew past me, but I found it in myself to catch the, before completely succumbing to this pain. I exhaled a deep breath, as I now realized I wasn't breathing and tried to calm my pulse from bursting out of my veins.

My gaze falls on Lilliana who is staring at me with alert eyes, probably making sure I don't pass out again. It was that moment when it finally hit me. This is how I'll be looked at for the rest of my life, as a weak and fragile piece of skin.

My face, which was at first filled with confusion and dread, dropped to embarrassment and shame. How could something like this happen to me? When did I become so pathetic? I try my hardest to straighten myself out, gladly taking the glass of water Lilliana had retrieved for me, and downing it instantly.

I placed the glass on an end table and attempted to look as if I wasn't dying from the inside out, although that might be too figurative for any situation, granting a surprised look from my guard. I'm not going to be remembered as the decrepit dragon queen.

"Are you feeling any better?" She asked, her words becoming clearer with every second.

"No," I spoke candor, "But I think I'll be okay. How-how long does this last?" my last words came out hurriedly, as the pain stood its ground within my body, refusing to budge or decrease. I gripped the end table to keep myself steady on the ground, and I'm sure Lilliana noticed my cover.

She moved toward me in a hovering motion, hold both arms around my perimeter in case I fainted, but I moved away from her, displaying my strength as I stood proudly without any support.

"I'm...not sure." I gave her an angered look. She's a werewolf for the love of the gods. This knowledge should be known to her. "A heat usually takes place on a full moon, which is in one month, lasting twenty-four hours, and our last one was days ago. Given that and that fact that you have dragon blood and you've been bitten for a few weeks already, I'm not sure how long yours will last."

"So wh-what should I do?"

"I don't think the palace doctor can do anything for you. Only your mate can ease the pain of a heat. Come, let's go find Xander." Lilliana reaches out to wrap her arms around my body, but I quickly forgo her touch.

"No. I know what you're implying and I won't, won't go down that road. Not now." My words were huffed out as I backed away from her. It's too soon for the mating process to be completed. I didn't realize it before, but...I'm not ready. Maybe I'm afraid, but of what? Xander? What could he possibly do to hurt me?

"Robbin, you don't have to mate with Xander to release yourself from the discomfort. His presence alone will be enough to subdue it. Please, Robbin."

His presence will calm me? Given ever encounter I've had with Xander, all I can confirm is his arrogant, bipolar persona will put me in an even worse state.

"No. I will not go to him."

"But Robbin-"

"I said no!." My voice unexpectedly rose to a growl, and Lilliana obeyed. "Take me to my room."

She nods, and, without caring for my previous comments, places her arm around me for support, and I let her. The walk to my room felt like a journey to the Easterlie kingdom, halfway across the world. There were a few guards posted throughout the corridors in the palace. Each of them noticed the scent of my heat and looked at me with hungry eyes. My body shivered in disgust at the thought of one of them touching me. Thankfully, Lilliana's warning growl snapped them out of their yearning state, and they with back to their post.

We make it to my room, and I'm helped onto my bed. Lilliana looks at me with the same watchful eyes, and a small growl escaped my lips. I sit up on the bed, each movement granting me a spine prickling feeling.

"You can go," I said in a surging tone. I don't want her watching me when I'm like this.

"Are you sure? I know you said you didn't want to see Xander, but-"

"I'll think about it," I said truthfully because I indeed would. I knew this pain would only grow worse, and when it does, I'll have to suck up my pride and go to him. "Don't tell him. I don't want him coming to me with an offer, you know."

"I do, but I won't wait forever. He had a right to know."

"He has no right! I'm only in this situation because of him!" I sigh at my immature behavior. Xander was right. Being stubborn will get me nowhere. "Lilliana, please. I will tell him later."

Her eyes linger on me a moment longer before giving me an agreeing nod. "I'll check on you later, but you should stay here for the time being. The men in this pack can smell your heat, and won't be able to help themselves."

"Don't worry about me." I gave her a weak, but reassuring smile, and she took her to leave, leaving me alone to my hell.

I sit at the edge of the bed, both palms of my hands resting on each knee, deeply digging into my flesh to control the scorching heat within me. My breath is controlled and reduced to a breathing technique my mother once taught me during her lively days. Inhale. Hold. exhale. Hold. it's rather simple and common, but she was the first person to teach it to me.

I close my eyes and imagine her presence. Her smile that grinned from ear to ear. The dark brown hair that flowed off of her head, curly and wild, like mine. When I was nothing but a child and in pain, her comforting touch was all that I needed to stay sane. She was all that I needed.

I shoot my eyes open at the feeling of a tear sliding down my face. No. I shouldn't dive too deep into that. Losing my mother brought me the same pain as losing Vision. Although it helped with my discomfort, I refuse to be sad and dwell over my loss.

I get up from the bed and head for the bathroom. Even though it was the fire that blazed my body and caused me to feel this agony, perhaps a different source of it will reverse its effect. I stripped myself of my clothing, nearly rigging them off of my body at a rapid pace, and step into the shower, turning the temperature setting to its highest.

When the water came pouring down, for a moment, just a moment, I thought it had worked, but when that second passed, the rain droplets felt like they were peeling my skin off, causing a gruesome scream to elude from my throat. I move away from the showerhead and crouch down, wrapping my arms around my body for consolation. My eyes squeeze shut and I think of Vision.

The heat of his flames surrounding me used to bring me such an immense amount of power, but it does nothing for me now. The images flip over to Xander, and I can feel myself in shock. I can see his hand on my face, completely erasing any trace of pain. No. I don't want it to be true, but it is. Only he can help me, and I think I can now say that this torture has gone on long enough.

I rush out of the shower, slipping on the puddle that I've created, bringing myself to my knees, but quickly get up again. I make my way to the closet and grab the first thing I can reach, which is an oversized grey t-shirt and large black sweatpants. Undergarments are the least of my concern for the moment.

I limp out of the bedroom at a fast pace, each step taken brought my feet their abuse, and head for Xander's office. This double-edged sword brings me both luck and unfortune. His office is directly underneath our room, but I have to walk along two hallways and down four flights of stairs to reach it.

I take the negativity out of my mind. I need to reach him quickly, and thinking about everything unfavorable will only slow me down. I make it down the first hallway in a sprint, with only one thing on my mind. The pain is blocked out and I feel as if I can do this, that is until I reached the staircase, and all motivation that was in me has left me to do this alone.

I grip onto the railings to steady myself, skipping a few steps to reach his sooner as I go down the stairs. It was a new kind of hell, but I made it down them without any serious casualties, and start my journey down the second hallway. I can feel the last of my energy leaving my body, and know that I won't last long. I find it in myself to jog the rest of the way, my feet begging me to stop. My limp remained as I covered the last of the ground, before bursting through Xander's office doors.

"Xander!" His name escaped my mouth as the last of my momentum wore out, and I fell to my knees. Part of me was pleased with making it here, but that feeling soon vanished as I looked up and saw not one, but two people standing ten feet before me.

Sage was sitting on his desk, being hovered by Xander's arms as they were resting on either side of her. Both of their heads were facing me, but I only returned one gaze.

Xander's position didn't change, but I'm guessing his facial expression did. Did he look down at me with surprised eyes, mixed with...guilt? I might've misread that once, but it doesn't matter. They suddenly turned slightly darker, probably from the smell of my heat, but quickly changed them back to their blue state.

My body felt numb. Embarrassment washed over me as I got up from my bent position, and left the room without another word. As I was closing the door, the call of my name echoed out and caused a pain perhaps as bad as the one I was already feeling. I didn't stop though. There wasn't a point.

The door closed and I started walking faster, trying to put as much distance as I could from that office. Soon I was running. To what? I don't know. I could go for a ride with Phoebion; try and clear my head and body from its suffering, but she's too far for me to reach. I don't know what to do. I don't even have a proper role here, so I can't bury myself in work.

With every fleeting step, I became occupied with something, anything that would distract me long enough to wait out the clock on my heat ending. As I'm running down the hallways, I turn a corner and collide with someone.

I fall on my back, the stinging sensation finally returning to my body, and I instantly regret losing my focus. I know if I start to move, the feeling would soon become unbearable, so I just lay there with my eyes closed, unfazed with the fact that I ran into someone.

"Robbin?" A familiar voice called out to me. My eyes flashed open to a sight of an even more familiar face hovering over me. I blink my eyes to adjust my vision, and it's Alec. How strange.

"Are you alright?" He looks at my body and takes a deep breath, becoming aware of my unfortunate situation. I don't respond to him. My mind feels like it's starting to take effect of my heat as well.

Alec places his hand under my elbow to help me stand, and ripples of the sharp pain begin to disappear. I look up at him, who's patiently waiting for me to get up, and an image suddenly is plastered in my mind.

Not of Alec, or Xander, or anyone else in this time era, but of David Qullem, Alec's grandfather.

"Robbin?" They even sound the same.

I look up at him with weary eyes, but finally, stand up. "Sorry," I finally speak, still confused by his presence. "Sometimes I forget how much you look like your grandfather."

He responded with a soft chuckle. He examines my body once again, possibly checking for any injuries since I am simply a fragile item. "You know," he speaks again, "You have a different heat from werewolves. It's not as strong as everyone else."

"Dragons don't get heat, Alec. It's more of a growth stage when they become adults."

"So like puberty?"

"Something like that." I look at his hand that still held my arm, and realize a lot of the pain has vanished. "How did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"The pain, it's...gone?"

"Don't think about the pain, Robbin. That's your biggest problem. You think too much."

"Excuse me? No, I don't!"

Before he could rebuttal, my name was called out in the distance, pausing our disagreement. We turn behind me, and Xander's figure appeared from the corner. I close my eyes and sigh, as I don't want to know what he's planning to say.

"I'm sorry for running into you," I said to Alec, facing him once again.

"You don't have to apologize for the-" I retrieved my arm from his hold and walked away before Xander could get any closer, but it was no use. A hand once again was placed on my arm, but with a tighter hold.

I turn to see Xander's body now passing me as he pulled me into one of the guest bedrooms in the hallway.

"Let go of me!" I tried to pull myself from his hold, but the efforts are useless. He doesn't release me until the door behind him was closed and locked. Xander lets my hand go and I back away from his brooding figure, unaware of his intentions.

He looks at me, and for once his whole face is displaying an emotion. Unfortunately, it's anger. "Why were you with him?"

"That's none of your concern."

"Yes, it is." The words were hot and boiling as they seethed out. Xander looked at my body before moving toward me, causing an instant retreat from him. "Did he touch you?"

"What? No why would you think that?" My face grimaced at the thought of Alec wanting to...

"You're in heat. Werewolves can't control themselves around your kind of aroma."

"Don't worry about me. I don't plan to let anyone use me in that way." I try to walk around him, but one of his arms slinked around my waist, gently bringing me near him.

"Good. Because I'd kill them if they did."

"That goes for you as well," I spoke in a harsh tone, but never met the eyes that were already on me. There was a short pause between us before he spoke again.

"Why didn't you wait for me?"

"You seemed pretty busy." I clenched my jaw as the words unintentionally came out in jealousy. Hopefully, he didn't catch it.

"Jealous?" Dammit.

"Let me go, Xander." The words came out softly, maybe not wanting to be spoken at all.

"Nothing happened Robbin. She came to see me, complaining how badly you were treating her and other bullshit. I told her to not bother me at work. One thing led to another and I was in the middle of threatening her when you flew threw the doors."

"I don't care Xander. I don't alright? So just let me go." I push myself out of his hold, and whatever sanity I had left was gone. The horrible feeling of my heat returned, and it felt even worse than before. I didn't register it until now. He made the pain go away. It was just..gone. But it's back now, and I think I might die without his touch. My body sunk back into the wall and I bent down enough to rest my hands on my knees, trying to ease the feeling.

"Robbin, I was holding you so you wouldn't have to feel any pain." I saw Xander's feet move in front of me. Both hands gently grabbed my arms and push me up until I was standing straight again. He wrapped his arms around my body, bringing me closer to his frame, and I let him.

The uneasiness dulled out and my body regained its strength in a matter of seconds. I hate this. I hate that the person who ripped everything away from me is the only one who can completely subdue the pain.

I let myself fall into the world of scents that reflected off of him, closing my eyes and allowing my body to feel something new. But the comfort soon turned into a need. I inhaled deeply in his shirt, and my stomach nearly knotted up.

I gripped his shirt and I found myself moving my face higher until it rested in his neck where his scent was far stronger. However, the action didn't go unnoticed. Xander slid his hands lower down my back, tightening the hold he had on me. It made me unconsciously press my body closer than it already was, our bodies now starting to mold into the wall.

I was so intoxicated with his smell, I went as far as rising on my toes to completely drown myself in him. A sudden poke coming from him snapped me out of my tranquil state, but it didn't come from his fingers. I retracted my head slowly and stared at his neck, refusing to look down since I knew where it came from. Instead, I looked at the features on his face, from the hard structure of his jaw to the stubble growing on it. My eyes instinctively reached up to touch him, caressing my fingers through is five o'clock shadow, spreading them up to the rest of his face, almost cupping it.

My eyes flew up to his as he never spoke a word or moved at my actions, and they were fighting to keep the blue in them. His wolf must want to come out to play. At least he knows what he wants. I wasn't sure what it was that I wanted from Xander. My body craved his on top of mine, turning the pain into something else. But my mind, going against every logical thought that raced through my brain, wanted exactly what my body did. Seeing it seems I, and the rest of me, came to an understanding, I went after what I wanted.

I gave Xander one final look before placing my remaining hand on the other side of his head and brought his face to mine, crashing our lips together. He wasted no time in taking me in, ravaging every inch of my lips as they fought for control. One of Xander's hands reached down to grab my ass and press it up against his erection, squeezing a moan out of me. The other clutched around my throat, with light but rough force.

I felt myself being lifted from the ground; hands now wrapping around my legs and spreading them around his torso. Xander moves us from our position on the wall and walks to the bed that waited for us, and laid us down.

"Are you sure Robbin? If we do this, I can't take it back."

When has that ever stopped you? The words almost poured out of my mouth, pausing any activity that was about to take place, but I held them back. The need is growing and I don't care about anything but this.

"It's okay," I whispered, but it might've been meant as a boost of encouragement for myself. I've never had sex before, but Xander has. "Um, this is a first for me. I might not be any good." the awkwardness wasn't going to be avoided in that sentence.

Xander nods and now worked on my neck, his mouth sucking my skin. My hands flew to his shoulders as his hands cupped one of my breasts. I suddenly remembered that I'm wearing nothing under the oversized clothing. Xander's hand slid under my shirt and fumbled with my nipples, causing me to clench my legs around his waist tighter.

My breath was coming out shorter as he continued to nip at me, his mouth now hovering over my mark. He placed his lips on it and sucked hard at it, making my entire body shivering from the pleasure it brought me. I felt my stomach tighten, an unfamiliar feeling surging my body, down to my sex, making me bite my lip.

Xander sat up and slowly unbuttoned his shirt, a little help from my end since my patience began to wear thin. He removed it and I once again got a view of his toned figure. I let my eyes travel down his body before they were momentarily covered as Xander now lifted my shirt and threw it on the floor.

He moved back a bit to drag my sweatpants off, and seem pleased to see that nothing was indeed left covering my body. I felt small under his lustful eyes, how they took my naked body in, waiting to pounce and eat me alive.

Xander got off of the bed, and from my view, he unbuckled his belt and slid his pants off. I rested my slightly risen head down and waited for him to return. My core felt weak without his touch, causing my legs to press together, but they were undone by Xander's hands, grabbing both of them and tossing them to the side, before shoving his face into my cunt.

The sudden invasion of my body made my back arch up, and a soft moan to leave my lips. His tongue licked my folds, before sucking on my clit. The feeling was new to me, but I wasn't afraid of it. Instead, It was now something I craved.

One of his hands reached up and squeezed my breast, light massaging it, with the other now entered my tight pussy, slowly at first with one finger, before gradually adding more. The moans never stopped coming out of me as Xander played my body skillfully. The knot in my stomach grew unbearable as I wanted it to be released, and was so close to achieving that goal, but Xander pulled his body back and hovered over me once more.

I was about to question him, but I soon felt his hard head at my entrance, almost begging to come in. Xander's eyes met mine, and for a moment, I felt scared. Maybe of him, maybe of this part of me that I never knew of. But I didn't care. This is what I wanted right now.

I grabbed Xander's face and brought it down to mine, giving him a kiss of approval, and soon after, she pushed into me without any warning. His shaft only making it halfway; my tightness and clenching forcing him to stop. He grunted roughly before pulling out almost entirely, then raming back inside of me, none of him left unchecked.

I sucked in a deep breath as I felt him, all of him expanding my pussy wider than I could ever imagine. His length coaxed every inch of me, making me shudder from the sweet pleasure it gave me.

"Fuck." Xander mumbled out as he repeated the same process. "You're tight." He began to move in a rhythmic pace, all of him moving in and out of me. I could tell he was holding back, and part of me didn't want him to. I wanted more. I moved my leg down from his waist and pushed it down wanting him to go faster, and he did.

Xander's slow but deep pace soon sped up, and his movement became quicker, still deeply hitting every part of my pussy. He grabbed one of my legs and brought it over his shoulder, as one of his hands went under my head, as mine did the same with his, bringing us at an unbelievable pace. Our eyes locked and he gave me what seemed to be a confused look, but dismissed it quickly, and so did I. His other hand snaked down between us and swirled at my clit, making me almost burst with pleasure.

My moans grew louder as I felt myself getting closer to my climax, until finally, it burst through me, my mouth silently crying from the sensation. The orgasm rolled through me slowly, taking its time to finish, and I've never been so thankful.

My now sensitive cunt felt a new side of Xander, his speed never faltering as he was reaching for his end as well. He sat up from our missionary position, my leg still dangling over his body, and continued to push deep inside of me.

His roughness was laced with passion and anger. All of his emotions were coming out through his brutal thrusts. An arm slinked around my thigh, and Xander grunted deeply, spilling himself into me. His thick warmth covered my walls like a blanket, and he pulled out of me, leaving my body free of any pain, but cold without his touch.

Xander laid beside me, our exhausted breaths the only sound heard in the room. I wanted to close my eyes and rest, but they stayed open, staring at the ceiling. It was done. Xander and I finally finished our mating process. We're supposed to be done, but I can't help but feel like nothing has changed.