18 Interludes - (following ch15)

Authors note: For those readers unaware regarding the intricacies of Japanese light novels, I've styled my own novel (Blood is Thicker Than Tears) upon Japanese light novels in the Slice of Life and Romance genres. In general there's nothing "light" about Light Novels whatsoever. Oregairu my favourite Light Novel is currently up-to chapter 13 with each chapter consisting of roughly 20k words each, (therefore I guess you could consider mine a super light novel) Lol. Within each chapter there will be roughly 2-3 interludes whereby a non-narrative character (in our case not Shimon who we're currently following), have a chance to convey their own motivations and inner monologues. To put it simply it's a small character development section which generally builds into the next chapters, (it could also be a conversation in the perspective of that particular character). I've decided (on a whim) to try my own interlude chapter (again completely improvised), in order to help you better understand some of the girl's motivations and inner thoughts. However what's also popular about Japanese LN interludes is that the character in question isn't named so as to keep you guessing (though I think you'll figure it out in this case). Hope you enjoy :D

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Interlude 1

Not for the first time I find myself alone, the remnants of a past whereupon I'd built endless mental barriers in a desperately futile attempt to fling my unwanted memories towards the darkest reaches of my mind, have suddenly returned with a vengeance. The uncontrollable shivers currently tingling down my spine, a consequence of a metaphorical loss of warmth as opposed to changes in the physical surrounding temperature.

Momentarily closing my eyes and slowly exhaling, fills my soul with a feeling of quiet solitude. How did it feel that day exactly? That magical feeling after he grabbed me with an unrelenting authority and never let go whilst I cried tearfully into his chest.

(Wrapping my arms tightly around my shoulders), yep this was the feeling within his arms: Warm, comforting, safe and providing me with the inner confidence to traverse and conquer any obstacle that lay in my wake.

(Allowing my arms to fall limply to my side), sadly nothing lasts Ad Infinitum. The final drops of wax signalling the end of a candle's life, in similar fashion with every passing clockwise movement, the hands of time draw our rekindled yet fragile relationship to an unwanted and abrupt close.

A relationship founded upon a lie and embedded with deceit, destined to wither and fade into the all encompassing darkness. Countless opportunities, innumerable moments and immeasurable chances have passed by in-front of my very eyes. My suffering escalates whilst my heart continues to break and yet silent I remain with my secret still safely hidden away.

Do I fear the repercussions and problems that lay ahead??? A resounding no of course, for my only fear is the inevitable answer from his lips, the disdainful and hurtful words from my most beloved of persons. I can feel it's presence, the blazing fire within my chest returns, akin to the mythical phoenix rising from the ashes before combusting in a veritable blaze of flames and glory.

With the adrenaline currently coursing freely through my veins, the thumping of my heart reaches a fever-pitch. Narrowing my gaze towards the wall and with my face a picture of pure grit and determination; Before I knew it my hand has balled unconsciously into a fist, as I willingly give in to my primordial instincts and let loose with every ounce of strength I can possibly muster.

"Why?? Tell me Why?? Why can't YOU of all people see?? The one closest, the one I trust, the one I care about??? Why should I have to spell it out for YOU?? TELL ME WHY??? DON'T YOU GIVE A DAMN??? WHY CAN'T YOU OF ALL PEOPLE UNDERSTAND????"

The searing pain within leaves me unable to control my emotions, forcing me to drop pitifully towards my knees in a moment of silent anguish. The tears streaming uncontrollably down my crimson-tinged cheeks momentarily blurs my vision, the disorienting feeling leaving me woefully unable to comprehend the hazy mist of red flowing freely across my hand.

Wiping away the evidence of my sadness with the back of my hand thankfully restores my vision, whilst the subsequent drawing of a few necessary deep breaths allows my heart-rate to slow more towards its natural diurnal rhythm. Composure has always been my most prized asset, bandages may cover your physical scars however refining your mental strength will protect against your most dangerous of adversary......Yourself.

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Interlude 2:

It's a funny old world is it not?? This deceitful facade referred to by the masses as confidence. Returning to my roots, meeting a wealth of new people for the first time, re-uniting with those people I cared for so dearly.

If presumptions are your norm, your first guess would be that I'd be hysterically jumping around in some form of euphoric glee?? Yet I currently find myself huddled pitifully against the bed; Clutching onto my fluffy pink pillow as if the very fabric of my being depends on it, mean-whilst soaked head to toe in a disgusting pool of sweat. I can't imagine I'll be nominated as a candidate for the title of prom queen in my current unglamorous condition.

"SIS ARE YOU OK???" Violet's unmistakable dulcet tones from just outside the ridiculously paper-thin walls of my newly accommodated apartment bedroom, take a few moments to settle in. Calm down, compose yourself and act natural, causing Violet unnecessary stress won't help the situation.

"I'm fine Viola, just slightly exhausted thanks!"

"Don't over-exert yourself babes, you know I'm always around if you need me."

"I know Viola........Love you too."

"Love you more babes! I'll go whip up some pancakes, always does the trick!!"

As the less-then-faint sound of my incredible older sisters clumsy dinosaur footsteps bound down the final flight of stairs; I'm finally provided with some necessary respite as I draw a few deep breaths and have a customary sniffle. The heart-wrenching pangs of lonesomeness due to making my long awaited return with only Violet for company, have so far proved to be an impassable boundary requiring seemingly infinite levels of conviction and fortitude in order to progress......Mom I miss you more than anything in the world!!

The familiar photograph laying precariously besides my right foot suddenly catches my eye, carefully reaching down and grasping the one precious treasure I kept safe for so many years: Stood beside that angelic blonde goddess whilst looking like a red-headed nerd with my signature geeky over-sized glasses, will forever induce a typical eye-roll reaction. However besides the presence of my unquestionably beautiful long-time friend, there's a very important reason I retained this particular photo.

The hint of a smile begins to purse as my thumb is almost hypnotically drawn towards the somewhat scrawny yet familiar looking young boy in the background. Sporting his signature unbrushed (and very messy) jet-black hair whilst dressed in matching Dragon-ball Z shorts and a t-shirt. Momentarily forcing my eyes closed whilst leaning back against the bed, the realisation of his lingering taste across my lips inadvertently sends a rush of blood deep below as I gulp in a completely unexpected (yet surprisingly worthwhile) moment of sudden ecstasy.

The twinkle returns to my eyes whilst for the first time today, a small uncontrollable giggle finally escapes my lips. Hmm......Perhaps returning has it's perks after all.