23 A fathers hugs

It seems like Yura and Liz was right, he was just playing games with me, I guess I'm just delusional.

It has been 5 days since we had our lunch and since then he had never called me, and rumors had somehow spread that I was delusional over Nicholas White, I don't know how the whole campus know my little crush on him.

Now the whole campus thinks I have an obsession on the guy.

I think someone might have seen me that day and decided to make silly rumors. But, I wouldn't do anything about it, why would I? Right now I'm walking through the halls of the campus, and I think my ears are going redder every time I pass someone.

There's going to be someone who passes by and will whisper his name, the name who hadn't called or even explain the whole situation with me.

This is the first time I've experienced this whole thing, and I don't think I've ever felt like I want to suddenly disappeared from this world.

"Have you heard, she was begging for his attention?"

"What no way! I was only told she had run into the store and stalk him."

"What? I heard Nicholas was having his own time at the café and then she barged in, the clothes she wore didn't even look that good."

"I know, right? It isn't Gucci, and beside Nicholas's standard is too high for her, is she seriously trying to get his attention like that? Especially with her disabilities? If I were Nicholas I wouldn't want a blind girlfriend let alone a blind person be near me."

It was happening again, the talking and the insulting, I just couldn't take it anymore, and I ran.

It has been happening like this for the first few days. I had to stop going to campus, right now I'm in my bed snuggling inside my blanket like a burrito. Hearing my favorite podcast.

When suddenly I hear a knock.

"Anaya honey, there's your favorite cinnamon roll I got you from the café you told me you like," I hear dad said softly, but I was not in the mood to eat anything.

"Maybe later dad, thanks���"

The silence of the room was interrupted when the door was suddenly opened wide, and I can hear dad sigh.

"Alright, you need to tell me what's happening, you've been sulking, you know you can always tell me, right?"

Do you know those saying where despite everything your family is the only one there for you? No matter what happened, they will always have your back?

Thus why at some point, where even when they make a mistake in your life you're still going to tell them something about you? Somehow a certain dilemma you can't tell your friend your mom or dad is the place you resort too?

I've been there.

I've been there to the point I tell dad everything, it was awkward, but he was there for me.

It was awkward enough I have Liz and Yura to tell me about it, it was awkward the second time dad had to explain it.

But have you ever felt like you want to tell someone but you can't? you can't tell your friends because your afraid they judge you and you can't tell you parents because they wouldn't understand so you resort to just keeping it yourself, and you drown in the thoughts over and over again without finding a solution?

I've been there.

Right now as the clock of my bed was stirking 2 p,m wrap into a burrito thinking about what I had done.

"dad, I alright okay? I just had something in my mind and I'm alright…" I said, well more off reassuring myself in what had happened the pass few days.

Dad could only sigh and he sat into the bed.

"Nana, I just want to tell you that you might think that you can't tell me, you don't have to right now but I'm always here to listen alright?" dad said and I smile, he was always there.

"Papa…" I opened my arms and dad engulf me into a hug, sometimes all you need was a hug, a perfect hug.

"Dad, I – I'm a bit hopeless in love right now…" I laugh, "and I don't know what to do…"

He didn't say anything and I was getting worried the last thing I want him to do was go ballistic and try to kill Nicholas.

"Alright… as a Dad I would have drive to the boys' house and kill him –" see, I told you…

"But that's not what you need right now right? You need someone to listen alright." That's the thing about parents isn't it? They know they're not perfect and sometimes annoy you but when you need them to be something they will be there.

"I don't know what had happened and I don't know if I can help, but know I'm here alright and I –" I hugged him tighter.

Mom was never around so I had to grow up being the only girl at school who didn't have a mom to bring at a daughter and other bonding time. The only girl who had to sit out when there's a mother and daughter sport event. The only girl who didn't know who to write to when giving flowers too.

So every year I had politely asked the teacher to write dad's name instead since he had was the only one around, and I wouldn't change it for the world.

Yes it was very hectic when we had to talk about girls stuff and I had sex-ed to help, and books I like to hear. I was always lacking a mother figure all the mother and daughter gossips night I had missed.

But I wouldn't replace dad, so I had hugged him harder, and I couldn't help to cry harder.

Sometimes a hug was better than words, and a fathers hug was the best of the best.