1 I'm Sorry, I love You

Dear Mom, 

       Mom I know when you find this you will be sad. You will be angry. You will be disappointed. I know that you will blame yourself for not finding out sooner. I know that you will blame yourself for not thinking that this would not happen, even though I had changed. But, I want you to know that I love you. I love you so much. 

       You helped me through my best friends death, and my brother left us. I wish I could have done the same for you. I wish I could have been better. I wish I could have been stronger, happier for you. But all I have been was a burden. I want you to know that I love you. I love you so much.

       I wish I could have done something to save you from my father's wrath. When he hit, yelled and shoved you. I wish I had called someone, anyone to help you when I couldn't because I was too scared that he would turn his wrath towards me.  I know that you will tell me not to blame myself because there was nothing that I could do. But in my heart, I know that there was. I should have called the police to take him away. Every night I can hear him hurting you, yelling at you. And every night I think that I should have done something. But I didn't because I am useless, worthless. Every night, I hear it and I know that you deserve better. A better daughter. But I want you to know that I love you. I love you so much.

       Even when I am a burden I am useless, you still love me. You won't let me wallow in my sorrows, my insecurities.  You love me, and I don't know why. I am useless, and you deserve better. A better daughter and a better life. and that's why I did this because I am a burden and you deserve better. Because I love you. You can now move on and forget about me, your pitiful daughter. But I love you. All I want you to know is: I love you.

       With love,