1 Blood and Ink

It wasn't even that late in the day. It's not like this is a bad part of town. I've taken this route a hundred times. How did no one hear me scream? God, dying sucks. Most of my thoughts were like that. Along with those classics were others like, "I didn't do anything wrong," and "why did it happen to me?"

I'm no doctor, but I know that I'm broken. More to the point, I can't feel most of my body and the parts I can; I wish I couldn't. My face was smashed and bleeding. I could only see the fading light through the trees out of one eye. Pretty sure some ribs are broken, and there is a gurgling wheeze that is all that remains of my breath. I don't even want to think about my pelvis. After what that fucker did, even if I had survived this, I doubt I would be able to walk again.

I hope someone finds him. I hope they find him and break him. Break him like he broke me. It's not fair. I hope someone finds me. I don't want to die alone. Anyone? Can anyone help me? I don't want the last living thing I see to be that bastard. Please?

The edges are getting fuzzier, transitioning from blurry images to a narrower field of vision. I guess no one is going to show up. I want to scream, but I don't even have enough breath. My lungs are filling up with blood, and the gurgle is getting softer as I run out of time. My only working eye dims further. Looks like this is it.

A shadow drops down in front of me. I'd smile, but I don't have the strength. It looks like something heard me. It's doll-like eyes, and inky feathers are a pleasant sight. If a rational part of my mind still existed, it would conclude that the crow was just here to grab a quick bite to eat. How often does it get still somewhat warm food after all? But to me, right now, it was the answer to my prayers.

I fade. The last ember of life making its last futile flicker.

Sorry, mom and dad. I won't be making it home for dinner.

Soon, I won't be anything more than a memory.

...

Any second now.

...

Any second.

...

Alright. What's going on? Why am I still here? Something isn't right. Why does it feel like I'm moving? I focus, awareness blooms, and the pain recedes only to be replaced by confusion and wonder. The barren late autumn trees are gone, instead, a vibrant kaleidoscope of undulating rainbows surrounds me, and the only darkness I can see, if 'see' is even the right word, are the oil-slicked wings and body of the enormous crow that carries me.

You'd think that the maelstrom of color would be disorienting or at least grow monotonous, but it didn't feel that way. It was oddly soothing. I'm not sure how long we stayed in that place, but the transition was jarring. From comforting carnival of cascading color to an austere land of dark valleys nestled between stark majestic mountains and drawing the eye at the tallest peak beneath an ebon swirling stormcloud stands a silver palace.

The storm roars as we approach, and it is only then that I realize that what I see is not a stormcloud, but a flock of millions and millions of crows and ravens, and the roar was the cacophonous caws in greetings or a challenge to our arrival.

The shining edifice gives way to black marble and stygian halls dotted with pale wood doors guarded by silver knights with raven plumes. At the end of one hallway, the knights push open the doors leading to a throne room.

Within the room, upon the polished-ebony throne, rests a goddess. I'm sure that she is. There is no way a human could emanate such an aura of divinity. I felt so small in her presence. I was so tiny. It occurred to me at that moment that I wasn't myself anymore. Barely more than a speck, I was a grain of sand at most.

"Is this all that was left?" the goddess asks, her voice rumbling through the room. She stands from her thrown and, within a step, holds me in her grasp and within her gaze.

"Oh, you poor little soul," she says, voice laced with sorrow. "You encountered the cruelty of the world far too young and were nearly crushed by it."

She frowns, cocking her head much like a crow might and whispers, "Oh, but what is this? A fragment of her will remains. It's weak, but still there."

Her smile slowly spread like black wings, and her obsidian eyes twinkle in delight. "Oh, my. Yes, I think we can salvage this. The spark is still there, and will is resilient. Oh, and so much more potential."

She puckers her lips, and I think she's about to kiss me. My heart, if I still had one, would have already exploded from her presence alone, nevermind the prospect of her kiss. Whether you're attracted to women or not, when a literal goddess is about to lay one on you, your heart will pound. Make no mistake about it.

Of course, I am mistaken about one thing. She didn't kiss me, but instead, the warmth of her breath wraps around me and pushes into me, and my soul flares like restarting a fire from coals. A gentle thrum starts like a beating heart within me.

She smiles again, this time with teeth. It's terrifying and beautiful. "It's even better than I first thought," she mumbles.

"Have Sebastian prepare a Coil," she shouts. I'm not sure what that is, but I have a feeling I will find out.

Sebastian was not an ordinary man. I'm almost positive he is also some sort of god or god-like being. The conversation between him and the goddess is a little above my head. Or it would be if I still had one. It sounds like the goddess wants Sebastian to give me a new body, but there is some debate about which one. My old body had asthma, so I hope this one will be a little more robust.

Something occurs to me. I'm really taking this death thing a lot better than I was. Although, I still hope that bastard is slowly flayed alive and then dipped into a vat of lemon juice. Other than that, it's like I've gone through all the steps of grief in no time flat. Is it because I'm just a soul now? Is it because I'm getting to try again, or is there something more to it? I wonder if I can ask the goddess? That raises another question. If I'm just a soul now, how am I thinking like this? There is no brain or the electrochemical reactions that are thoughts. So, what is going on?

Forget it. I need to pay attention to what is happening with my whole reincarnation thingy.

"Then, it is settled."

And... I missed it. My teachers always said I needed to pay better attention in class. Now I have regrets.

The goddess looks back to me with a smile. "Don't worry, my child. There are many challenges ahead of you, but with challenges come opportunities. You will be one of my emissaries among the mortals, so be bold, but you are also inexperienced, so be cautious. We won't be seeing each other for a while, my child. Use this time to become strong."

She looks up, and I can see two girls peeking their heads through the doorway. They look like China dolls complete with pale skin, raven hair, and black eyes. "You two hurry up if you want to meet her before we begin the process," the goddess says.

The two girls smile and run over. They look me over like I'm some exotic animal they want to pet. One frowns and whispers, "Is there something wrong with her mother?"

The goddess nods solemnly. "Yes, she's been hurt rather badly, and it will take time for her to heal."

"Can we help her?" the other one asks.

"I'm afraid there isn't enough time for that. She can't stay here with us much longer. It isn't good for her. That's why I'm sending her down to the Mortal World so that she can heal and grow strong."

The two look hopeful and excited. "Can we go down with her. We promise we'll be good."

"Don't be ridiculous. Of course, you can't go down there. Remember what happened the last time? And anyway, this is her journey, not yours."

The girls deflated pouting cutely. "Tsk. Now stop that. I'll tell you what. If you want to help? I'll let each of you grant her one Blessing."

Their smiles reignite, and they bounce a little as though they've just received a great present. They whisper back and forth for a few minutes. "Hurry up, you two. Time is short."

They nod and hold up one hand each. A pale mist crawls up their arms and coats their hands. They each reach out, and warm energy covers and passes through me. "Oh!" the goddess exclaims. "That's very clever. Well done, girls."

I want to scream, "WHAT'S CLEVER? What did they do?" but nothing comes out.

"Alright now, scoot. We have a lot of work to do."

The girls with proud smiles wave and sprint out the door. I feel like I should thank them, but again, nothing comes out. Being a disembodied soul is rather frustrating.

"As for you," the goddess says to me. "You rest and absorb what my daughter gave to you. When you wake up, you'll once again be in a mortal world. I warn you now. It is not the same one you left. You will have to find your way in this new world, but I am confident that you will make your way. Sleep now, my child."

Sleep. It's been so long since I last slept. At least I think it has. So when the goddess said to sleep, well, I did just that. Not that I had much choice. When a goddess tells you to sleep, it is not a suggestion.

Several things still rumble through my mind while I am slumbering. First off, the goddess said that this world, this mortal world, I'm going to is not the same one I left. I guess I got my hopes up that I'd see my parents again or that I'd get a chance to put the bastard that killed me away.

However, it does open other possibilities, and I'd be lying if I wasn't curious. Is this going to be like those isekai mangas? And if that's the case, are those Blessings the cheat abilities that those protagonists always get? Am I going to be an anime protagonist? Maybe I'll get the video game treatment and get a character sheet and skill points or something. Or perhaps I'll get some super magic abilities or an amazing magic weapon.

Despite my disappointment in not being able to go home, I really can't complain. How many people ever really get a second chance like this? Maybe, if I get strong enough, I will be able to go home someday. It's a long shot, but it might be worth trying. Even if I can't ever really be me again, at least to other people, I'd still like to check on my folks.

A whistling sound breaks my sleep, and my eyes flicker open. White surrounds me like a cold, damp blanket, and the sensation of wind whipping past me confuses me for a moment until I break through the cloud and see the very solid looking ground coming fast.

"HOLY SHIT," I scream. I should say, I try to scream, but what comes out is a shrieking caw and the flailing of black feathers.

Are you kidding me? Am I a crow?