19 19- Spy

"Where are you sneaking off so early in the morning?" Wu Huan grudgingly sat up from the cold floor. His face still stunk from last night's slap. He couldn't even sleep. He wondered if the other couldn't as well.

When Shi Lihua ruffled around in his quilt, Wu Huan was only pretending to sleep. Who knew he really planned to take off without his Shidi.

The Shixiong ignored him, put on his winter cloak then without a backward glance, shut the door.

He obliviously was going to find Uncle Qi Tao and Feng Yu. The best place to look for them was definitely the court.

It was still dawn, the snow piled to half a meter and his nose was beginning to feel stuffy. Asking direction from a passerby, he heard some pieces of news, "The court? Turn left in the third alley and it's right behind a pawn shop. Are you here for an emergency meeting? I heard the Lord Qi Tao requested one yesterday but I didn't think the sect people would arrive that fast."

"...Thank you."

Because it was too early for the court to be opened, Shi Lihua had received very suspicious gazes from the morning guards.

One of the guards questioned despite looking like he wouldn't bother letting him in anyway, "Who is this gongzhi? What business do you have so early in the morning?"

"I'm Shi Lihua, a disciple of TaoHua sect. I request to meet Lord Qi Tao."

They stared down at each other for a moment before the guard spoke, "The court stopped housing guests a long time ago. You must have heard rumors. Lord Qi Tao is currently resting in his family's inn in front of the city square."

"I see." Sighing through the cold, he trudged back looking lonely from behind. Honestly, hearing that he was staying in court didn't make sense. People who stayed at courts were almost always suspects being locked up. Why would a lord even stay there? Well, he couldn't blame himself for not thinking of this either. After all, he admitted that he was in still in shock.

[I'm losing my sanity. One day. It took one day to kill almost the whole household but it felt like a long time meeting Peng Yu, eating lunch with them, escaping assassins, and mourning their deaths. It must have taken up ten pages of history to record.]

Absentmindedly, he started tracking the barely visible footsteps he left earlier from the opposite direction.

[If lives have already made footsteps for everyone to follow, wouldn't it be easier not to blame yourself for the things that happened along the way?"

"You must have a lot of thoughts on your mind."

Shi Lihua managed to stop in his track just in time a pair of legs entered his vision. He looked up, surprised. "Wu Huan."

"Your face is already red from the cold. Why are you so stubborn, Shixiong? Has your injury even healed yet?"

Maybe it was due to his negligence, but hadn't this shidi became more and more daring?

"I can look after myself."

"Obviously not."

"You...you want to die?"

If he was still his old self, Wu Huan would have already shut his mouth and run for his life. "I will only die for you, don't worry. Just don't die before me with that open wound."

"So you really have chosen death?"

Two black pairs of eyes challenged one another if. Wu Huan finally spoke first without breaking the eye contact, "Shixiong, you know why I'm doing this. Even if you don't want to admit it. I know you also hate me. But, please...let me atone for it."

Shi Lihua's teeth were beginning to clatter and he knew his wound wasn't going to be fine either, but why has a part of him listened to this gibberish. Why couldn't he just kick this person or interrupt him? Why wasn't he doing anything but be caught in those eyes of swirling pool of emotions? Why did he want to listen?

He must have lost his sanity for real. Shi Lihua. Shi Lihua. Shi Lihua. Focus. Focus. Focus. Don't get distracted by your personal life.

"Shixiong?!"

His vision was becoming blurry. It must be his injury. It must be because he was losing consciousness. Otherwise, why was he staring at the blurry image of Wu Huan?

He couldn't be crying, right?

•

•

•

A minute. Two minutes. Half an hour. Shi Lihua didn't know how long he had been standing there being snuggled into the warm coat and strong arms. His tears kept coming involuntarily and it kept getting soaked by the fabric.

"It's ok. It's ok. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Shixiong."

Just a moment ago, he could barely breathe properly. His heart was racing like it was going to explode. For a moment, his world was blank. Just what happened to him?

"Shh. Shh. It's ok. I promise I won't upset you anymore. Calm down...now breathe slowly..."

"Let me go...I'm...I'm fine now," his voice was muffled in the other person's chest. He could only be embarrassed by their actions now that he had calmed down.

Wu Huan slowly let him go, his eyes darting around his pink face, checking for something. Then he pulled his Shixiong's hood up that fell over. "Let's get you properly stitched up first. Lord Qi Tao can wait. He's probably still resting."

"...ok."

Wu Huan blinked once. Then a smile followed.

It took them a while before they found a clinic near the town center. The owner was only starting to prepare for opening as well. Thankfully, the wound wasn't reaching a dangerous state as expected from all the time in the snow. And, they finally got to visit the Lord.

Feng Yu was the one who received them downstairs at the inn. His face was blank but it could be read as 'I don't want to speak'. Young master," he cupped his hands. "We were expecting you. Please follow me."

Lord Qi Tao was reclining by a wall near his bedpost. When he saw the guests, he offered a solemn smile. "Hua'er and Huan'er."

The three settled down across the table. "Uncle...I'm so sorry. I couldn't protect them. I was away when it happened. Please forgive me."

"I'm the one at fault, Hua'er," Qi Tao spoke softly, he looked a bit unkempt. "I ordered to crack down on them secretly. It seemed like I underestimated them."

"Secretly?"

"It was a spy. The head of one of the leading families. I knew the old man was greedy, but I didn't expect he would be that cowardly. It was Feng Yu who found him sending a messenger right after the meeting. While we were questioning him,...the fire," his voice trembled a little at the end. "The fire happened."