1 一

"PRINCE XUEFENG!" the girls squealed as a man with dark, silky, golden-brown hair rode past them. He sat on his horse, waving to the crowds and smiling brightly.

Suddenly, his hand went up, sending a signal to the guards in front of him. The procession stopped. Xuefeng slipped off his horse gracefully, the girls giggling and whispering around him.

He walked to the front and kneeled down in front of a little girl, no older than 4 years of age. His cape rustled in the dust, but he smiled at her and reached out a hand. She was squatting there, clutching her knee and whimpering.

"Are you okay, little one?" he asked kindly.

The girl shook her head as tears rolled down her plump cheeks. "It hurts," she whispered.

Xuefeng motioned for one of the guards to come to him. "Get me the medical kit."

The guard scurried off as Xuefeng inspected the ankle. "Hmm. It's twisted." With a sharp snap, Xuefeng corrected the position of the foot. The little girl almost cried out, but caught herself and bit her lip. The crowd was quiet and hushed as they watched Xuefeng carefully put a salve on her foot and wrap it in gauze.

"There you are. You'll be fine in a few days, little one." The girl nodded gratefully, hesitating for a moment before quickly wrapping her arms around his waist and disappearing into the crowd, leaving claps and cheers in her wake.

---

Xuefeng walked into the temple, clutching a basket of fruits, wine, and incense in his arms. His snow-white cape with golden embellishments fluttered behind him as he walked into the temple.

The monks bowed in respect as they watched him carefully arrange fruits in front of a wooden tablet, pouring wine into a shallow bowl.

He lit the incense and held it between his palms. He kneeled down, bowing his head and muttering.

"妈. 我好想你," he whispered.

(Mom. I miss you.)

Xuefeng put the incense into the censer and reached out to the wooden tablet he had carved with his own hands. He ran a finger down the smooth side of it, his eyebrows furrowed.

"I will get revenge for you one day," he whispered softly, a single, clear tear running down his soft porcelain cheek.

---

Xuefeng sighed as he pulled himself onto his horse. Xue was a sleek, black mare he had personally raised since he was old enough to stand. Well. Almost.

His guards followed closely behind him, sending furtive glances at the beggars on the side of the road. Xue whinnied and shook her head whenever one of the stallions got too close to her. Xuefeng smiled softly as he scratched the spot in between her ears just how she liked it.

MEMORY

"Prince. Xuefeng. Please. Slow. Do-"

"Can't catch me Eunuch Han!" Xuefeng stuck his tongue out from the back of the hay wagon and spun around.

Suddenly, the wagon rolled over a particularly deep pothole and Xuefeng tumbled head over heels down the grassy hill. When he finally stopped, every inch of his body felt beaten and bruised and his left leg felt like it had gone through hell.

"Unghh," he moaned as he rolled on his side. Xuefeng stared at the fluffy clouds that floated past him in the sky.

"Prince Xuefeng! Prince Xuefeng!" He tried to raise his arm or at least yell, but his voice caught in his throat and he found he couldn't use his mouth to form the words he wanted to. The only thing that'd come out of his mouth was a strangled 'unghhh'.

Tears formed in his eyes as he lay on the grass. A grasshopper landed on his nose and slowly crawled onto his lips. Xuefeng opened his mouth to scream, forgetting gravity, and the insect fell into his mouth. He cried as he felt it poke around and slowly stop moving.

Suddenly, a young, dark, black horse appeared a few yards away. Xuefeng stared at it, wishing he was sitting on its back and riding into the horizon.

Xuefeng swallowed the grasshopper, trying to imagine it was a very prickly osmanthus cake his maid had made.

The horse stood stock still, watching as Xuefeng attempted to move. He ignored the pain that racked through his body, focusing on breathing in and out steadily.

Slowly, he stood on his right leg and limped towards the horse. He reached out for the horse, begging it silently to stay.

Xuefeng stumbled over a rock and cried out in pain as he fell on his already mangled left leg. He looked up at the horse, his tear-stained cheeks hot. It cocked its head as if mocking him. Anger surged through Xuefeng as he pushed himself off the ground and stumbled determinedly towards the sleek horse.

Xuefeng finally reached it, clenching his fist around its hair. The horse stood there silently, unphased. It whinnied and got on its knees as if to say 'hop on.'

Xuefeng stared at it for a moment before gently sliding on to its back. As the horse galloped through the grassy plains, Xuefeng fell asleep against its thumping neck and coarse hair. As his eyes closed, he decided that 'it' was a girl.

...

"Oh, my child. What have you gotten yourself into?"

Xuefeng awoke to see his maid, Ah Kong, standing worriedly over him. Her thick caterpillar eyebrows were furrowed in worry as her wrinkled hands twisted this way and that. Her dark, pearl-like eyes followed the doctor's every movement. Ever so often, her hand wandered down to the middle of her thigh where Xuefeng knew a silver dagger was cleverly concealed inside of a pocket she had sewn into the fold of her dress.

His eyes rolled back as he slipped into a dream filled with dark, black mares and endless, rolling green hills of grass.

...

"UNGHHH!"

Xuefeng sat up in the bed, his eyes wild as he looked around. "UNGHH!"

Ah Kong looked at him worriedly, small beads of water forming in her eyes. "Oh, my child."

Xuefeng looked at her. He wanted to say, "I'm okay Ah Kong. Don't worry," but the words just wouldn't form on his tongue. Another strangled "UNGGH" forced its way out of his throat. His frustration took the form of salty tears as he clawed at his throat.

Ah Kong gently pulled his hands away and rubbed his earlobe soothingly. Xuefeng closed his eyes, trying to lose himself in her clean, fresh, faint osmanthus smelling scent.

"The doctor said that you hit your head on that hill. And your voice..." her voice choked up. She turned away to wipe her tears away with a rough swipe of her hands. "It might never come back," she said, her voice hoarse and barely above a whisper.

Xuefeng leaned against her shoulder, frozen in shock. "I'm sorry," she whispered into the top of his head. Xuefeng closed his eyes and inhaled her comforting scent. He wrapped his arms around her plump figure, holding her like he was three years old again and without a single care in the world.

From then on, whenever he walked in the palace hallways or went to class with his brothers and other noble sons, he heard the whispers and pointed hands behind him. They called him Mute Prince, Voiceless, Ghost, and many other horrible things behind his back. Xuefeng wanted to scream as the words in his head swirled violently, fighting to escape his body.

He became violent and threw things around. He was easily provoked and shunned all his friends. Not even Ah Kong's osmanthus cake could always calm him down.

Then, a year after the incident, as he was sulking on the side of the road, a familiar black mare caught his eye. He looked up to see the black mare that had saved his life twelve months ago standing in front of him.

Again, she cocked her head saucily and whinnied. 'Really? Sulking? I didn't save you so you could become a waste of carbon,' she said as she tossed her head.

Xuefeng stared at her, an inexplicable need to ride her coming over him. She seemingly rolled her eyes and got on her knees again. Xuefeng slipped onto her back and they sped down the road. For the first time since the incident, Xuefeng felt truly free from his thoughts. He pushed her faster and she complied. Xuefeng felt as if they were flying fast enough to escape the words that tormented his head.

But the mare came to a sudden stop at a grassy hill.

Xuefeng bent forward and whispered in her ears, but she flicked her head and raised her front hooves, making Xuefeng slide off her back and onto the dusty road.

"UNGGHH!" He cried out.

The horse spun towards him and got close to his face. She stared at him and cocked her head. 'That's a taste of what I can give you. Figure out how to earn it and you'll feel that exhilaration again.' And with a saucy flick of her head, she galloped away and into the horizon.

As the horse galloped away, Xuefeng could feel his frustration and words catching up to him. The pain plagued his mind once more.

Xuefeng closed his eyes and lay on the dusty dirt road, trying to grasp the feeling of freedom he felt on the mare's back.

...

Xuefeng wandered through the hallways of the palace, his head down instead of sending dirty looks at the passing maids and eunuchs. His arms were crossed as he chewed his bottom lip.

Suddenly, he bumped into a hard chest. "Unggh!"

He looked up, rubbing his forehead irritably. In front of him stood a tall boy, presumably a few years older. The tall boy looked down at Xuefeng, his eyes widening when he saw the jade carving that hung from his belt. Immediately, the boy kneeled down, his right hand over his heart.

"Your Highness Xuefeng. My apologies for bumping into you."

Xuefeng cocked his head. Most people that bumped into him rolled their eyes and scolded him for getting into their way. Nobody besides Ah Kong paid him any respect.

Xuefeng felt a glimmer of warmth bloom in his chest as he helped the tall boy up. He reached for the pad of paper he kept everywhere he went and scribbled a note on it.

He held it up for the tall boy to see and was surprised to see a blush rise at his collar. The boy looked down sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head. "I-I don't know how to read..."

Xuefeng's pink lips formed a small 'O'. He scratched his head, trying to think of a way to communicate with the boy. Almost everyone knew how to read in his father's kingdom, even the maids and washwomen.

He grabbed the boy's arm and pulled him into his courtyard. Xuefeng rang a bell and Ah Kong suddenly appeared at his side. Ah Kong looked at the boy and looked back at Xuefeng. "What are you doing with the General's son?"

Xuefeng scrunched his nose and squinted at his tall friend. He scribbled once more on his pad of paper. "Wuhan? Shen Wuhan?"

Ah Kong nodded. Xuefeng looked at the boy, smacking himself for not noticing the heavy metal armor and tell tale bun atop his head.

Xuefeng scribbled more on his paper and showed it to Ah Kong. "Ah. He doesn't know how to read. You want to teach him?"

Xuefeng nodded enthusiastically. The feeling of freedom that came to him from riding the black mare tickled the edge of his mind.

Wuhan blushed and looked down. "H-how can I let Your Highness Xuefeng teach me, a lowly son of a general, how to read?"

Xuefeng slapped him lightly and drew his hand back immediately. A tentative finger poked Wuhan's arm and retreated again. His eyebrows flew up as he looked at Wuhan. His fingers started attacking each and every part of Wuhan's body as Ah Kong stared at him, shocked.

"Prince Xuefeng! That is no way to treat a friend!"

Xuefeng growled and scribbled again in his notepad. Ah Kong laughed and asked Wuhan a question. "Prince Xuefeng wants to know how you got your muscles at such a young age."

Wuhan looked at his body and back at Xuefeng lean form. "I'll teach you how to get muscles if you can teach me to read," he said bravely, a determined look on his face.

The longer Xuefeng stared at him in silence, the longer Wuhan started regretting his offer. "I-If you want to," he said in a small voice.

A bright smile broke out on Xuefeng's face as he looked at Wuhan. He nodded his head vigorously even though he didn't know how he was going to teach his new tall friend. As Wuhan smiled back, Xuefeng felt a warm feeling of freedom from top to bottom. It felt like riding on the black mare, but warmer.

Soon, the leaves turned dusky reds and browns and the weather became colder. But nonetheless, the warm feeling Xuefeng felt stayed with him through the coldest of nights as long as he taught his new friend.

Wuhan and Xuefeng grew closer and they studied together in amiable silence. On the first of the tenth month in the lunar year, the black mare appeared again.

Xuefeng's breath caught as she trotted over to his side. She nudged her head against his shoulder and a soft 'whoosh' came out of her nose.

Xuefeng reached up to the spot in between her ears and scratched it. She whinnied and seemed to smile.

Soft white pieces of ice began falling from the sky. Xuefeng looked up and extended his hand to catch a few flakes.

"Xue," he thought with a smile. "I'll call you Xue."

END OF MEMORY

"Your Highness Xuefeng."

Xuefeng looked up and smiled warmly. However, those who knew him could tell that it was a fake smile. It didn't quite reach his eyes and his lips seemed strained.

"Colonel Shen Wuhan." His voice sounded polite, but beneath it was a cold current of hate and betrayal.

Xuefeng saw Wuhan's cold, hard mask crack for a second before the colonel recovered.

"The Crown Prince... is back."