6 Fear and emotions;

A lot of people ask me what my biggest fear is, what scare me most. And I know they expect an answer like height, or closed spaces, or people dressed like animals, or closed spaces, but how do I tell them that when I was 15 I took a class called relationships for life and I learned that most people fall out of love for the same reasons they fell in it. That their relationships refusal to compromise and their one track mind is now immaturity and their bad habit that you once adored is now money down the drain. Their spontaneity becomes reckless and irresponsible and their feet up on your dash is no longer sexy, just another distraction in your buzy life. Nothing sadness and scares me like the thought that I can become ugly to someone who once thought all the stars were in my eyes.

Sometimes, you go through something and it hurts and you don't know if things are ever going to be okay again. But then days go by and you don't feel like crying and you wonder what it means that you're fine. You think maybe you're ignoring your emotions and then that they'll come back out of no where. Until you're driving home from work, singing alone and wondering what you'll have for dinner, and you realize you're happy. Maybe that thing don't break you because you're stronger that that. Maybe you can survive anything. Maybe you finally want to.

Sometimes you feel very low and feeling alone but I realize when I am older, we are just sensiour with ourselves. I think that time, as you grow older, you realize that what's meant for you won't make you feel heavy. You begin to let go of people, places, and things that you've outgrown. You give yourself permission to leave a relationship you know isn't good for you. You know that you're experiencing life on a different level. You're now wiser because you're able to value your personal growth. Saying goodbye isn't selfish. Walking away isn't selfish. Doing what's best for you isn't selfish. Choosing yourself over everything else isn't selfish. It's self love. You're not a bad person because you don't want to lose yourself. Selflove is choosing to love yourself more than anything else. You have to let go of what's not meant to own yourself. What's meant for you will always make your heart lighter. You deserve to be happy.