1 First Visit

What am I doing here, am I really going to see a psychiatrist.

I have never been one of those who go to a psychiatrist or a life coach, but what I've been through over the past five years has been too much. You can't imagine this confusion that I am going through, I feel that I am going to lose my mind.

The psychiatrist took a closer look at him. He was a middle-aged, wheat-colored man, with a thick and stylized beard, fine hair and hazel eyes. You see in his eyes sadness and confusion, as if he were a lost person.

The doctor said to him, "Let's get started, what's your name?"

He said, "Michael."

The doctor said, "And I am, as you know, Tony."

Michael: I don't know what happened to me. I love my wife and my children, but ...

Tony: "But what?"

Michael: But ... but I think I'm gay.

Tony: "You think you're gay or you're really a gay"

Michael said nervously, "I don't know, Doctor ... I just want to end this nightmare."

Tony said, "It's okay to be gay, and you love your wife in the same time. The question is, do you enjoy having a sexual relationship with her?"

Michael: "Yes I'm enjoying having sex with my wife, but sometimes I feel empty after a sexual relationship."

Tony: "It's normal for one of you to feel upset and emptiness sometimes after a relationship, even if the performance is outstanding."

Michael said in a faint voice, "But sometimes I watch gay porn, and by the pool or at the beach I find myself staring to men genitals which appeared under their swimsuits, and sometimes I imagine that a man is having sex with me while I'm having sex with my wife."

Tony: How long ago did these feelings for men begin?

Michael said, "Five years ago, and the beginning was a massage session."