1 she says no

she says

depression is a white man's privilege

we do not have the privilege to have that much time to ourselves

she says look

in order someone to be depressed one first must be living, all we have been doing is surviving

She says how do you tell a person they have mental illness one day when there is nothing mental about surviving

just running and running and running and running and trying to not have yuor child witnessed the sound of a bullet going through flesh before they witness the holy sound a vowel can make before it turns into a word that eventually becomes a language and running and running and running

sir we would like a new doctor for my daughter my daughter is not depressed

she says how can one be depressed if your native tongue doesn't even speak of it to its existence

our people do not get depressed

she does not get depressed so sir we would like another doctor for my daughter

the doctor looks at me and asks me what do you think

what do I think

I wonder if he realizes he just told a woman who sacrificed everything to the bone to protect her children for more of a fight cannot protect me from a fight sge cannot help me flee from run from sacrifice from

I wonder if he realizes what that will do to her

I wonder if this is the moment she realizes wars doesn't end when the guns stop shooting maybe that's why the Nile is the loudest thing in this room right now

I wonder why the depression test asked me how often I cry and not why I don't cry at all

I wonder if he realizes the hopes dreams and expectations a my generation is main thing keeping my mother's generation standing

why is my mother sitting?

I wonder if today is the day my mother realizes although she could stop running when she got to the US my generation the Somali diaspora is still running stuck in between two cultures trying to uplift both expectations

we are still running I am still running just not from guns

I wonder if this is the day my mother ties this the Somali diaspora to a white man's privilege

I wonder if today is the day my mother realizes that the Somali diaspora is gaining a fight she cannot protect us from a fight she cannot help us flee from run from

sacrifice from

I look at my mother and I look at the doctor

what do I think

I think wewould like to have a new doctor

and bandages for my splinters from running.