17 Losing and gaining a new family

After talking with Cindy for a couple hours, Iris felt completely refreshed. It had been a while since they had a good heart to heart chat together. Caught up in the wave that was BTS and Big Hit, Iris had neglected her cousin who had so staunchly supported and followed her here for morale. It was then that she realized how much she appreciated and took for granted the unwavering pillar that was Cindy.

Thus, she mulled over the prospect of becoming a trainee as well as her parents' reaction. She considered it more thoroughly and calmly, weighing the pros and cons alongside the big "if monster" and possibility of regretting not taking this leap for the rest of her life.

By the end of the week, the song was done, and Iris had finally settled on her decision. She would go for it. Maybe only hardship would follow. Maybe she would be ostracized. Maybe she wouldn't be on speaking terms with her parents after this. It could take a long time to heal wounds and demonstrate that she had the ability to be successful in another way—a way which made her truly happy in being able to utilize her talents and passion.

Iris entered Bang PD's office. This could be her last day at Big Hit. Flurries of excitement and wracking nervousness shook the girl who was not yet twenty. But from now on, there was no turning back, no "what if's." Like the leap that V took in the Prologue Trailer, Iris too, would take that jump into the unknown both full of elation and sorrow.

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[ Parentheses will now mean (English) is being spoken instead of Korean. Basically, the two are now swapped with regular dialogue meaning it's spoken in Korean.]

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One year later. May 2018.

"Iris! Are you going to the dance practice room?" J-Hope called after Iris who was in front of him. She turned around at the voice with questioning eyes. Jogging up to her side, he continued, "I have a new choreo that I want to show you!"

"New choreo? Hoseok-hyung, why are you working on a new choreography when you have a world tour starting in September? There's still plenty of time, but…" Iris shook her head with a small smile. This dance machine couldn't ever stop. Both he, Jimin, and Jungkook would frequently dabble around with moves. While it was for fun, usually some of the moves stuck, and they would show them to Son Sungdeuk, the performance director.

"Haha! You know me! I get jittery when it's in-between albums like this." J-Hope flashed his sunny smile, the smile which Iris had the honor of seeing several times daily.

As the only female trainee at Big Hit, they all treated her like a brother. That's why half of the members tagged on the usual "hyung," brother ending to her name sometimes. It was a good, clearly identifiable line drawn by using this address. They could all be close without getting too close and worrying about romantic feelings suddenly arising.

The other half of the members who didn't choose to call her "hyung" merely felt it was improper or too odd. However, all of them at various times had called her that unconsciously because of their tight relationship. Iris often took part in the composing of their songs, and vice versa for the solo album she would eventually release. It was a mutual business relationship as well as a friendship.

To the younger trainees of Big Hit, the new boy group preparing to debut before spring in 2019, Iris was still addressed as "noona," their older sister. Unlike BTS who had a bit of an odd relationship with her, a more definite line was drawn surrounding Iris and the younger boys.

In fact, she interacted with the trainees much less than BTS. It was in part to them not knowing one another as well as she knew BTS. And it also included the differences between their social and age groups. Lastly, it was still up in the air whether she would debut before or after the second boy group.

"By the way, do you know what day today is?" J-Hope's smile curled into a mischievous grin.

"No, what day?" Iris softly chuckled.

"Ah, I'm not telling." J-Hope crossed his arms with a mock pout that was awfully cute.

"Hyung~~ tell me," begged Iris playfully and made puppy eyes.

"Iris, you're so forgetful seriously! How could you forget?! It's okay though. It's better for us." A sly twinkle glimmered in his eyes. He knew Iris had been feeling stressed out over the date of her debut, so he attributed that as the reason for her forgetting it was the one year anniversary since she joined Big Hit.

Since BTS hadn't been able to personally congratulate her at the time one year ago because they were on tour, out of the country until fall, everyone had been secretly preparing a surprise party for her the whole week.

Iris was usually very quick—she picked up on a lot, meaning she often worried a lot too, but she didn't even notice the well disguised tiptoeing of the BTS members around her the last several days.

"Better for you?" Iris frowned while trying to wrack her brain for the answer. Finding none, she dropped the subject. As J-Hope seemed to suggest, she would find out eventually. For now, she needed to continue training harder.

She already was able to speak fluently in terms of high degree conversation. Books were another hurdle, but she could understand the lower level books of grade schoolers. They often helped with her learning sentence structure and vocabulary too. The order of subjects, verbs, and other placements were opposite and counter-intuitive to an English speaker.

Of course, the biggest help was Namjoon. They both mutually helped one another with language, she in Korean and he in English. Thus their frequent study sessions had helped one another excel considerably.

Oftentimes, Iris would giggle to herself thinking about all the envious fangirls who would like to receive one on one tutoring with Namjoon. But then she thought about how she could get ripped to shreds by them too, so she would then dispel any notions on the whole matter.

Think positive. That's what she had been trying to do since detaching herself from LA and her family. It was a painful process that left behind even her cousin; although, Cindy was able to visit unlike her parents. Thankfully, the BTS members had really helped with the emotionally difficult transition. She became part of the Big Hit family.