11 Chapter 11 Thoughts

Angelica

I closed the door and went inside, I should really clean my painting room. I went to the backyard and open my painting room. It' was just a medium sized room just enough for me to fit and Zeke always comes here when I paint.

There was this one time he painted a willow tree, it was not perfect but it was beautiful. He was in the mood to paint a willow tree and he did, there are unexpected surprises from him as well like giving me flowers and confessed he picked them in our garden. The thought of it makes me giggle. He loves my hard work, he reminds me daily. He is always my number one fan he motivates me everyday.

I started picking up some dirty tissues and ripped papers. I rearrange the brushes from old to new and ripped the dried paints on my palette, the sound makes it very satisfying. I come here everyday just to enjoy the calmness and the fresh air that passes through my window. My painting room is always messy because It's supposed to be messy so I didn't bother cleaning a lot. This room is off limits to anyone especially, Sarah. I don't want her to clean my things because I will not know where she puts it and it will just distract me. She knows that already since I paint a lot in my teens. Sarah help me sometimes, she help me choose what kind of painting I'll paint for today, aside from my Mom, Sarah is also my supporter.

I miss my Mom and Dad, I should really call them later. The advantages of being an only child is that they will give you the things, love and support that you always needed and deserve, the disadvantages is that you can't let them down, you have to be a perfect child for them because they expect big things from you. Yes, I'm very open with my parents but not all my problems are meant for them to know.

Since I was obsessed with Harry Potter I decided to study in London to explore their culture, how they live and how to adjust on the weather. Aside from my reason why we went to London was because of my Dad's job so it was a win-win situation for me and him and that's how I met Nicholas. Nicholas courted me for 3 months, my parents weren't that very strict as long as I focused on my studies, that's all that matters. Me and Nicholas had good grades when we were in high school. We were both Honor Students, I don't really call ourselves nerd but we are somewhere in the middle, a few people know us and some people don't, we have a few friends and acquaintances so my life in High school was just normal as I thought it would be. When I got pregnant, my parents already got the hint of it because of the symptoms I'm showing -I wasn't aware of it- but they refuse to believe it unless they got the news from me. I dislike the food that I love, I hate perfumes and I hate every food that serves on my plate. I thought the only symptoms I'll feel is nausea, morning sickness, puking and craving but there were so much more, I didn't really expect it to be that complicated.

Nicholas was getting colder each day as we hang out when we knew I was pregnant, he's being distant and avoiding me for no reason and I look like a lost puppy who always follows where he goes since that's what I use to do everyday. We've been together for 2 years and I didn't adjust well when we got separated, we were so in love with each other I didn't really think he would fall out of love with me when I bare our child. When my headache were unbearable and my moods are very high and low, I couldn't take it anymore and told my parents the truth. My Mother was crying and so does my father, I was traumatized by their reaction I couldn't afford to disappoint them again but they told me they love me still, they were only disappointed and couldn't accept the fact that their only daughter was a mom at 16.

I texted Nicholas that I finally told them and he didn't text me back. About a week I didn't hear anything from him, even though it was not obvious but I can feel my belly getting bigger each day but I decided to go school. I couldn't take it any longer so went to his house and ask his mom where he was and the shocking news I got is that he left to the city and finish his studies there because his uncle took him for modeling purposes and they don't want to miss the opportunity.

I was crying non stop and I know I was hurting the baby inside, I didn't eat, sleep or take my vitamins for the baby. I was slowly losing weight, and That's when we decided to go back to Australia and start fresh. I do regret I was slowly killing myself and the baby on my first trimester but my OB told me that it was alright at least I didn't conceal my emotions because that will give me stress and that can affect the baby and after that here I am. My past was not what I expected it to be but I learned a lot of lessons from it, my parents supported me until now and they are proud of what I've become.

As I finished arranging the dirty clothes, I closed my painting room and went inside the house, looking for Zeke.

"I don't think your are ready to face him, Angelica." Sarah's voice startled me.

I raised my eyebrows in confusion, "What do you mean?"

"You'll know when you get up there." She looked at the stairs, "The kid is getting smarter everyday." She shook her head and gestured me to go upstairs, in his room.